how about a few votes

[mikey2much]

I can write these silly ideals down on paper and read them back to myself and they seem to be OK. I wish that some of the twenty two thousand people who have opened and viewed these stories would tell me what they think of them. Are they good enough to continiue to write them or should I keep the pitiful things hidden in the dark part of my mind? I need a little imput here.
thanks
mike

 

[mjl2010]

I can write these silly ideals down on paper and read them back to myself and they seem to be OK. I wish that some of the twenty two thousand people who have opened and viewed these stories would tell me what they think of them. Are they good enough to continiue to write them or should I keep the pitiful things hidden in the dark part of my mind? I need a little imput here.
thanks
mike

Might just be a good idea to put a link here if you want us too look at them.

MJL

 

[mikey2much]

stories

Thanks for the help. the links are;
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=289263
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=293836
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295023
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295354
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295572
Pt six has been rejected

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I can write these silly ideals down on paper and read them back to myself and they seem to be OK. I wish that some of the twenty two thousand people who have opened and viewed these stories would tell me what they think of them. Are they good enough to continiue to write them or should I keep the pitiful things hidden in the dark part of my mind? I need a little imput here.
thanks
mike

You've made life a little difficult for yourself because you've disabled public and private feedback on your stories and you've blocked emails through your profile.

No wonder you're getting no comments!

First, get an email account (MSN,Google or Hotmail) dedicated to lit and suitably anonymous. Then, open up the floodgates and see what you get. You can delete anything you don't like, but you must open the chanels sowe can contact you - for good or bad.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Thanks for the help. the links are;
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=289263
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=293836
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295023
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295354
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295572
Pt six has been rejected

Why has Part 6 been rejected?

You know, you can hide the url under a caption, say the story title. Use the tools or look at the 'How To' thread.

Will send aPM.

 

[mjl2010]

Thanks for the help. the links are;
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=289263
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=293836
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295023
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295354
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=295572
Pt six has been rejected

Ok I read the first page of part one. The gay male stuff isn't my thing at all. But here's what I see. I see extremely long paragraphs that make it very hard to read. Sentences that are seperated into parts by comma's that really could stand alone in their own paragraph. I had to go back and read the first page three times before I got some it figured out.

The very first sentence should be two sentences.

Phillip smiled as he handed the young man a cup of steaming hot coffee, the boy smiled as he accepted it and placed it on the table.

After the word coffee, change the comma to period and capitalize the T in the. Then you have two sentences expressing two different thoughts or actions. You do this a lot on the first page.

I have another problem with believability. Jamie is only 20 years old and had already served in two wars, was an ex-sergeant, spent a time in lock up, part of that in solitary? You don't really say when or how long that was either.

Obviously you're not trying to just write a stroke story. You've got an idea that is probably a novella in length or even a novel. What you need most is to get someone to read your stuff before you post. I know I've tried to get an editor and havn't managed. So I asked someone else to read my stuff and give me an opinion.

One last thing. Open up your email and feedback so people can give you feedback.

Anyway. That's my take on it. I'd have sent these comments in a PM or email but I can't since you have them off. Just trying to be constructive.

Keep writing.

MJL