How a Master/Mistress can show Love for their Slave

[~Dream~]

Although I had "played before" with another Master, it wasn't the extensive,LDR/LTR relationship that I now have with Artful.
He is very patient with me,I am very strong-willed and although I've wanted
it very badly. its been hard to give up the Control to Him.
I'm NOT a person with a huge ego or anything , but you know a pretty blonde with a nice smile goes far...and I am used to gettingwhat I want most of the time. He however is NOT compliant , and THAT turns me on..He's also older and way more experienced, another plus.

I want to be constantly affected by His Dominance. Carry it with me everywhere.I wanna Feel it Here, lurking.. attached to my mouth,my legs, my breasts, my ass,my cunt, and --my heart.. like a subtle erotic tension that surrounds me like a halo(angels get white,slaves get dark).
I want Him to dwell with Domish delight on my offering the precious gift of myself for His use and His pleasure..,understanding , knowing that He owns me,I am HIS slave.

I also need and appreciate the lOVE that Only He can give to me ..
below I have listed 8 different ways a Master/Mistress can show love For their slave.

1.Masters/ Mistresses can show love through their TALK..
Telling your slave you love them through actions and gestures..dont assume they always just know it..

2.COMPLIMENT your slave often for jobs well done and dont downgrade but instead REASSURE when they fail.Positive reinforcement and appreciation go a long way towards repeat performances..

3.LET Your slave know when You feel bad or misunderstood. they cannot read your mind.It will make them happier and feel good to be able to comfort You.
Feelings left unverbalized can be destructive.

4.EXPRESS joys,thoughts,and feelings with Your slave.They bring vitality to the relationship.It's wonderful to celebrate rituals together.

5.DONT INVALIDATE your slave's being by telling them that what they see or feel is Insignificant or not REAL.If they see it and Feel it(-for them-)-It's their experience and therefore IMPORTANT and REAL.

6.TOUCH THEM. Hold them,hug them...The slave's physical self is revitalized by loving , nonverbal communication.

7.RESPECT.. if You want it Yourself , You need to practice what you preach,
respectful talk works BOTH ways.

8.LET others know You VALUE your slave. Public affirmation of your love makes them feel SPECIAL and Proud to be Yours.It is good to share the JOY of your relationship with others.

In analysis..... showing Love for Your slave will in essence come right back to ya..it's a circle in this thing we call .. LIFE..



~Dream~

 

[lovetoread]

Hello,I see that you are back,you doing okay?

 

[Goddess Helia]

Dream,
That is very well said. May I print that off? I would like to show it to my Master.

Thank you for writting that up.

Helia

 

[~Dream~]

LTR and Goddess

Yes I am as good as ever , LTR , thank-you for caring .. and Goddess, I would be honored if you did, please help yourself , hun ... gotta go fix supper for hungry children bbl..

** Another Gift of love would be *Time* Spent with the slave , given to NO other but her as well..

 

[Cirrus]

So should we disregard that mushy "goodbye" then?

 

[Lancecastor]

You can check out any time you like...

....but you can never leave.

Dream, there is absolutely no doubt as to the time you put into the whole slave thing.

When I read your posts, I'm often at a complete loss for words (there's a concept!) because you usually cover whatever aspect of slave/master stuff it is you are talking about to the Nth degree.

I often wonder: Does Dream have any hobbies?

You can treat that as rhetorical; I don't mean to pry. It's just that I feel like I know 10,000% about how you are Art's slave....but not much else.

And my guess is we'd all be pleased to hear more from you on other topics as well.

Respectfully;

Lance

 

[MissTaken]

Basic relationships 101

Keeping promises.

Never promising to do something you dont' intend to do.

For some reason, I find broken promises from a Dom far more unforgivable than in a nilla relationship.


And to second Lance's post, Please, dream, feel free to share a bit of yourself outside D/s.

You are very interesting and should were YOU in style!

 

[Goddess Helia]

Re: LTR and Goddess

Yes I am as good as ever , LTR , thank-you for caring .. and Goddess, I would be honored if you did, please help yourself , hun ... gotta go fix supper for hungry children bbl..

** Another Gift of love would be *Time* Spent with the slave , given to NO other but her as well..

Thank you for allowing me to print off your lovely list, Dream. It will be a healthy start for my slave girl interactions with My Master. Do you have a list of ways Subs should be showing affection towards their Masters, or is that perhaps in another thread?


Respectfully,
Goddess Helia

 

[~Dream~]

Goddess H.

No ,I really dont have a list for subs as of yet , of course I was speaking from a slave's viewpoint only , when writing this thread ,however,I would suggest that alot of it has to do with the amount of time spent together and whether the relationship is skin-to skin or LDR as I found it very easy indeed while in the direct prescence of my Master to do His bidding , with no problem at all ,even tho we had NEVER met face to face till August 9,th of this year ,
It just FELT right ..
I would attempt to say that showing your Master the respect He is due,listening and OBEYING orders,putting His NEEDS 1st , trying to find ways that will earn His pleasure and not His anger ..keeping a humble attitude and not a rebellious , haughty one , would be a great start at showing affection.of course face to face more intimate things can be done.. I will definately think on this and post more .. thank-you for the thought-provoking question..

 

[~Dream~]

Re: You can check out any time you like...

....but you can never leave.

Dream, there is absolutely no doubt as to the time you put into the whole slave thing.

When I read your posts, I'm often at a complete loss for words (there's a concept!) because you usually cover whatever aspect of slave/master stuff it is you are talking about to the Nth degree.

I often wonder: Does Dream have any hobbies?

You can treat that as rhetorical; I don't mean to pry. It's just that I feel like I know 10,000% about how you are Art's slave....but not much else.

And my guess is we'd all be pleased to hear more from you on other topics as well.

Respectfully;



Lance

__________________

aww come on Lance , no comment about my latest avy? geez I am crushed!! Actually I was thinking perhaps I should go out and buy myself one of those little "harem outfits like Barbara Eden wears on "I Dream of Jeanne" ..
Yes , believe it or not I am a hometown ,petite simple girl with lots of hobbies..I read Stephen King novels, all kinds of books about BDSM and just sex in general(pays to keep up) I love to camp ,fish,sing karaoke,garden,just watch a lil tv with my 10 yr old sometimes. I'm dying of impatience waiting for the next "Lord of the Rings ' movie to come out in Dec I LOVE Big Brother 3 and hope that BITCH Danielle on there gets her ass kicked by Lisa cause Danielle is a manipulative con artist!! lol
I am bigtime into classic rock music but since I do have 4 children i have exposed myself to rap,country, and even Techno , i am very diversified in my tastes .. I also like sci-fi shows and movies and Horror flicks!!
I am anti-government in alot of areas , a practicing Muslim in the Islamic Faith, hmmm what else>>.I love Reese cups!! and Hershey bars and I can hold my own in self-defense maneuvers ... headed back to college for my 3rd year soon , going for Bachelors in Psychology and I have talked about OTHER things like my disability in other threads but thank-you to both you and Miss T for caring ..

 

[NemoAlia]

Helia,

You asked about other threads. I'm not sure if these two are exactly what you're looking for, but here are a couple of choices:

Advice for a developing Dom

and What makes a good sub

This two item list is obviously not exhaustive, but hey, I figure it's a start. Dream has her own take on the subject, I'm sure. I, for one, would love to read her contributions to either of these two threads.

 

[Goddess Helena]

Thank you, Artful's Dream and MissTaken for your thoughts.

Once again, you both have me thinking and feeling reassured about what I am doing with my boy.


Helena

 

[Goddess Helia]

Re: Goddess H.

No ,I really don’t have a list for subs as of yet , of course I was speaking from a slave's viewpoint only , when writing this thread ,however, I would suggest that alot of it has to do with the amount of time spent together and whether the relationship is skin-to skin or LDR as I found it very easy indeed while in the direct presence of my Master to do His bidding , with no problem at all ,even tho we had NEVER met face to face till August 9,th of this year ,
It just FELT right ..
I would attempt to say that showing your Master the respect He is due, listening and OBEYING orders, putting His NEEDS 1st, trying to find ways that will earn His pleasure and not His anger ..keeping a humble attitude and not a rebellious, haughty one, would be a great start at showing affection. Of course face to face more intimate things can be done.. I will definitely think on this and post more .. thank-you for the thought-provoking question..

Dream,

Thank you for your kind response. My honey, My Master and I live together. We have been together nearly 5 years.

Back when we first became lovers, before I gave him my heart we briefly experimented in Master\Slave games. I was much afraid to show him my true desires, as I myself did not understand them. He took my hesitation to speak of such things as fear and did not press me to continue. I had long wanted to continue our exploration of such things, but lacked the knowledge and courage to do so.

It has only been in the last 5 or 6 months that I have been able to open myself up to him about my desires. Thanks in part to a few close friends of mine who I had the fortune of meeting in that time.

We are still working out how we wish to continue.

When we are exploring my fantasies of His Dominance over me, I am his completely. I have but one goal which is to please him in ever way possible. I crave it, I hunger for it. He is still taking this slowly. We are both a bit unsure how to balance our love and relationship with our S&M life.

Because of my work situation, he often times is looking after me. It is a bit of a conflict I think. He brings me breakfast in Bed every morning, and yet as his sub, should I not be serving him?

He takes care of the laundry and house care, because I am not at home to do such things.

Is that okay for a Dom and Sub to live everyday life this way?

Weekends are when he truly owns me.... when I'm not at work.

(At work I'm in control.)

The other thing is, well I wish to please him, but when is it okay to stand up for myself?

If he tells me I should buy car X and I want car Z, am I a bad sub for wanting what I want?

I'm sorry if this was inappropriate to put all of that here Dream. I am just really trying to understand my place. Your thread has given me many questions, I did not know I needed to answer.

Please call me Helia, there is another Goddess H here besides myself.

Respectfully,
Helia

 

[Goddess Helia]

Helia,

You asked about other threads. I'm not sure if these two are exactly what you're looking for, but here are a couple of choices:

Advice for a developing Dom

and What makes a good sub

This two item list is obviously not exhaustive, but hey, I figure it's a start. Dream has her own take on the subject, I'm sure. I, for one, would love to read her contributions to either of these two threads.

Thank you for pointing this out to me NemoAlia. I'm sure it will be a great source of information to help me along my way.

I will go read now.

Respectfully,
Helia

 

[~Dream~]

NemoAlia..

Helia,

You asked about other threads. I'm not sure if these two are exactly what you're looking for, but here are a couple of choices:

Advice for a developing Dom

and What makes a good sub

This two item list is obviously not exhaustive, but hey, I figure it's a start. Dream has her own take on the subject, I'm sure. I, for one, would love to read her contributions to either of these two threads.

______________________
Thank you so much for sharing that valuable information with all of us,
it is quite late now as I have a little one getting up for school in 4 more hours ,but I will promise to read and give all my thoughts into my responses to those threads tomorrow ,thank you again..


Goddess Helia, Thank you also about being so open and honest about you, your honey, and your Master's relationship.. please never worrying about sharing or going off topic on 1 of my threads .. i do not judge.. I consider them open to the public as they should be..

 

[artful]

An opinion

Dream,

Thank you for your kind response. My honey, My Master and I live together. We have been together nearly 5 years.

Back when we first became lovers, before I gave him my heart we briefly experimented in Master\Slave games. I was much afraid to show him my true desires, as I myself did not understand them. He took my hesitation to speak of such things as fear and did not press me to continue. I had long wanted to continue our exploration of such things, but lacked the knowledge and courage to do so.

It has only been in the last 5 or 6 months that I have been able to open myself up to him about my desires. Thanks in part to a few close friends of mine who I had the fortune of meeting in that time.

We are still working out how we wish to continue.

When we are exploring my fantasies of His Dominance over me, I am his completely. I have but one goal which is to please him in ever way possible. I crave it, I hunger for it. He is still taking this slowly. We are both a bit unsure how to balance our love and relationship with our S&M life.

Because of my work situation, he often times is looking after me. It is a bit of a conflict I think. He brings me breakfast in Bed every morning, and yet as his sub, should I not be serving him?

He takes care of the laundry and house care, because I am not at home to do such things.

Is that okay for a Dom and Sub to live everyday life this way?

Weekends are when he truly owns me.... when I'm not at work.

(At work I'm in control.)

The other thing is, well I wish to please him, but when is it okay to stand up for myself?

If he tells me I should buy car X and I want car Z, am I a bad sub for wanting what I want?

I'm sorry if this was inappropriate to put all of that here Dream. I am just really trying to understand my place. Your thread has given me many questions, I did not know I needed to answer.

Please call me Helia, there is another Goddess H here besides myself.

Respectfully,
Helia

Helia,...what a wonderful post. I can sense the honesty of your words. I would like to offer my opinion on what you have posted. NOWHERE should any of us in REAL TIME try to imitate what what we see in OTHER relationships.

Yes,...there are good examples as well as bad ones to evaluate, but when it gets right down to developing a relationship between two people, each of them need ONLY to look inside themselves to discover the TRUTHS that are THERE.

Looking at our OWN truths, is most difficult for all of us. Presenting those TRUTHS to our S/O is a challenge, that FEW people can actually do. It takes a tremendous amount of trust to lay those INNER truths out on the table,...allowing our S/O to view them.

It can be done,...and THAT is the good news. The honest and open communication that is needed for this will ONLY happen, if EACH of the people involved in the relationship can do this.

The bad news is that all too often,...our FEARS of rejection,...overpower our ability to communicate freely and honestly. Continued effort, and committment to succeed is necessary, (It don't happen overnight).

As far as the car example goes,...what is MOST important to you,...getting the car you want,...or allowing HIM to make the choice?

It's up to you,...but remember,...YOU have to look deep within yourself for the TRUTHFUL answer. If you lie to yourself, (denying the TRUTH), then you are playing a game where there is NO winner.

Relationships are always evolving, often changing in subtle ways that one will not ALWAYS recognise, until much time has passed. Nothing should be FORCED, it should all come together and flow naturally, and it *will* if patience is used.

Some relationships are NOT meant to be,...others will be satisfactory to EACH,...by reaching compromises, and/or negotiations. Others will flow easily and naturally as if a gift from above.

NONE of them will ever be satisfactory, to EACH of the participants, unless there is an honest, and open disclosure in communication, back and forth between the two, on a CONTINUOUS basis.

(JMHO),...but it's mine,...and I own it.

 

[~Dream~]

Helia...

I 100% agree with my Master in this case (that doesnt happen all that often) believe it or not!!
I truly feel that the reason our relationship has flowed so smoothly(yes there are bumps) is because of the "continuing" honest and open communication,coupled along with Artful's seemingly endless supply of "patience" with me.
As Master said:
"Looking at our OWN truths, is most difficult for all of us. Presenting those TRUTHS to our S/O is a challenge, that FEW people can actually do. It takes a tremendous amount of trust to lay those INNER truths out on the table,...allowing our S/O to view them. "

After being involved in alot of abusive relationships in my past,it's hard for me to build up Trust again, and I admittedly DO have alot of fear still inside, However,as time goes by in my current D/S relationshipn I see things in a "different light',things FEEL more "comfortable as you KNOW someone truly CARES for your well-being..The TRUST must be EARNED tho..each and everyday Master is earning more and more of mine till eventually He WILL have it ALL..After abuse we tend to hold on to a little tiny portion of "ourselves" just in case " something "goes wrong"..at least I have..
It is so good and soo refreshing to take a good "LOOK inside yourself as Master says and find out what feels good for YOU..

None of us can really tell you what is "ok" or what is "right" for you , you have to figure that out all for yourself hun,(you & your Master)we can only give you our "opinions" on what works for *US*...each relationship however is UNIQUE...I wish you the BEST on your journey.. it's a fun adventure with many pitfalls but the rewards of even just trying are well worth the effort ,I promise!!Good luck to you !! ~Dream~

 

[Goddess Helia]

Artful and Artful's Dream,

I thank you for your sincere responses. You both have given me MUCH to think about.

You both mentioned being honest with myself and My Master. I think that is my biggest issue at hand. I fear his rejection. He at times can be unresponsive to my desires. I have learned from him, to hold myself back back from him as a result. Time has passed and we are different people. I'm not sure if he will *hear* me when I speak truthfully of my desires or if he will judge me for it.

He has at times been rather closeminded about certain things, such as anal play. I have a strong desire to explore this, and he has a strong belief that it is not something he would ever be interested in doing.

So I submit to his wish that we do not engage in this type of activity.

But then again I do not think I completely expressed my desire to explore this. I think I have been very vauge and fearful expressing desires such as this.

I think if i was able to calmly exlpain my true urge to explore this and be completely honest about my feelings he might open up and be more open to it.

It was only recently that I was able to tell him of my true joy in cock sucking. For years I have wanted him to cum on my face and chest when he had his release. I had hinted at this desire, but he must not be a mind reader or something rolleyes: at myself) because it wasn't until I specifically told him point blank "Please Master, cum on my breasts." that he got it.

Eh? Well after having thought that out and typeing it out, I think I am the problem.

Perhaps I expect too much.

The only times I have been truly honest about my desires is when he has tied me up and MADE me speak of this things. It's much easier telling people online of this stuff than it is him.

I hope I can find the courage to show my true self to him.

Thank you for your thoughts on the matter, Artful & Artful's Dream.

Respectfully,
Helia

 

[artful]

Helia

Artful and Artful's Dream,

You both mentioned being honest with myself and My Master. I think that is my biggest issue at hand. I fear his rejection.

Patience, baby steps, communication, knowledge, remember,...you have the rest of your life to enjoy this journey.

 

[Goddess Helia]

Re: Helia

Patience, baby steps, communication, knowledge, remember,...you have the rest of your life to enjoy this journey.

Thank you, Artful.

I will try to keep that in mind as I continue my exploration.

Respectfully,
Helia

 

[AmorousVixen]

below I have listed 8 different ways a Master/Mistress can show love For their slave.

1.Masters/ Mistresses can show love through their TALK..
Telling your slave you love them through actions and gestures..dont assume they always just know it..

2.COMPLIMENT your slave often for jobs well done and dont downgrade but instead REASSURE when they fail.Positive reinforcement and appreciation go a long way towards repeat performances..

3.LET Your slave know when You feel bad or misunderstood. they cannot read your mind.It will make them happier and feel good to be able to comfort You.
Feelings left unverbalized can be destructive.

4.EXPRESS joys,thoughts,and feelings with Your slave.They bring vitality to the relationship.It's wonderful to celebrate rituals together.

5.DONT INVALIDATE your slave's being by telling them that what they see or feel is Insignificant or not REAL.If they see it and Feel it(-for them-)-It's their experience and therefore IMPORTANT and REAL.

6.TOUCH THEM. Hold them,hug them...The slave's physical self is revitalized by loving , nonverbal communication.

7.RESPECT.. if You want it Yourself , You need to practice what you preach,
respectful talk works BOTH ways.

8.LET others know You VALUE your slave. Public affirmation of your love makes them feel SPECIAL and Proud to be Yours.It is good to share the JOY of your relationship with others.

In analysis..... showing Love for Your slave will in essence come right back to ya..it's a circle in this thing we call .. LIFE..

~Dream~ [/B]

And what do I do if I feel some of these are missing?
Am I being selfish or just human? Am I expecting something in return?

 

[artful]

Re: Re: How a Master/Mistress can show Love for their Slave

And what do I do if I feel some of these are missing?
Am I being selfish or just human? Am I expecting something in return?

All your answers are within YOU. It's up to you to dig inside and find them. No one can do that for you. A S/O can HELP or hinder that process,...but in the end,...it is *your* responsibility to do so.

 

[~Dream~]

never give up your search

It is very hard to really look "inside" ourselves at times,esp when we feel the other person is ALL WE NEED ,however we have to have a good sense of ourselves before we can truly expect that we will love others in the way in which they deserve.. keep searching vixen ,I PROMISE you its worth the efoort!! Good luck..
~Dream~

 

[Guest]

Please tell me...

I agree with AmorousVixen.
All 8 items are missing. Could someone please tell me how to love someone and expect nothing in return. How do you give yourself completely to someone and merely be content that they "allow" you to do so? To receive no affection. No praise. No thank yous. To ALWAYS be spoken to as if you have no clue of anything in this world. To ALWAYS be spoken to (or is it spoken 'at' rather than 'to') like you are a child being repremanded. Like it's a miracle that you've survived as long as you have. To never be recognized that you are capable of independent thought or have an opinon on anything. To never ask for anything (material or otherwise) and yet that someone never bothers to ask what you think or how you feel. Please tell me how to do that without losing myself.

Signed...
feeling lost and alone
(as if I'm becoming a doormat)

 

[~Dream~]

re;unregistered

as a human you are always gonna expect something in return for what you give..it's normal & natural,however as a submissive I am to expect nothing and give my all for my Master and the beauty of this is that I DO get "rewards ' for this.
There is nothing ever "given in this life that in one way shape or form does not come back to us eventually..

We will reap what we sow,period..
I am deeply sorry for the void you feel and only wish to tell you that you ARE indeed WORTHY of ALL 8 things and until you actually DO believe that for YOURSELF,chances are you wont find them..you DO have to take a good long ,hard look inside yourself to find alot if not all your answers ,only YOU can decide if you wanna stay in a relationship wher you receive NOTHING back at all..

Good luck on your journey!!