Hothusband?

[DennisB]

I have heard about a hotwife scenario. The wife goes out and beds other men with her husband's full approval. She then comes home and tells him all about it. He gets off on it.

Is there such a thing as a "hot-husband"? He goes out and beds other women with her complete approval. He then comes home and tells her all about it and she gets off to it. Is this happening? Can this happen? The personality dynamics between men and women are so different, is this even possible? I would like to know if there are any men out there who are in this lifestyle. How many women out there are also in this lifestyle? I am curious.

 

[screwher]

Compared to the number of hotwives, "hothusbands" must certainly be far and few between. I would think that most women with these desires would want to engage in this activity as swingers, as opposed to the cuckqueening lifestyle.

 

[cosmic_peach]

Compared to the number of hotwives, "hothusbands" must certainly be far and few between. I would think that most women with these desires would want to engage in this activity as swingers, as opposed to the cuckqueening lifestyle.

This has been my, albeit limited, experience as well. Any of my lovers who have expressed interest in "fucking others" the scenarios are always another guy with her, her performing with him for me, her coming to me later, me and another guy at the same time with her etc. In all my cases, again bear in mind the sample size is statistically low (<10), none of my lovers expressed any interest in seeing me or sharing me with another woman, in fact I would say it even mildly turned them off. I am not bothered by that I just notice and sense it in my experience. I honestly would like to know this as well and if there was a woman out there who was turned on by the "hothusband" aspect, I'd love to hear about it and understand it from her point of view. I am not referring to threesome (FMF, FFM) sex per se, that is common and I understand that appeal but rather the "hothusband" thing which is significantly different.

 

[screwher]

I think with most women, intimacy comes into play with sex too. While with most men sex is a lust thing. Now I'm not saying my wife is being intimate when she's having sex with other men. She has her own reasons as to why we're living this lifestyle. But she feels the intimacy with me. I know my wife better than she knows herself. She doesn't want another woman experiencing that intimacy with me. And I got a lot of lust in me. A lot of that lust is fuelled by other men screwing my wife.

 

[DennisB]

Interesting. I am also getting PMs stating the very same thing. Without getting into a sex war here, why is it that a husband can handle his wife going out and fucking other men but a wife cannot handle her husband going out and fucking other women? What is the difference? I am not into this form of sexual play, nor is my wife. We have invited others into our bed but always together. Having our spouse go out behind closed doors and screw someone else has no appeal to us. I am not knocking it if one is into that, there are plenty of things we are into that others may not be, lol. I am just trying to figure out what is accepting or lacking inside a person that wants their spouse to go out and do this? Is it a certain fetish? Trust? A particular sexual kink? There has to be something in a husband that is not in a wife? Is it hypocritical for a hotwife to absolutely refuse to allow her husband to go out and do the very same thing that she is doing? Is it a dominance or submissive thing? I really am curious as to what is the trait or personality or sexual kink or behavior or whatever that a woman has to possess to want this in her marriage? I think, and if i could underline "think" i would, lol! I think i understand the hotwife thing from the guys point of view. You have an incredibly sexy wife and it turns you on so much to hear her speak about her adventures. Like listening to her tell you about past lovers. You are secure in your relationship that you know she is not going to leave you for him so having her go out and play and her recounting the night for you, is sexually arousing. I think that is it and yes, it can be sexually arousing. Among the most erotic and hottest times we have had in bed has been relaying to each other what being with the other couple was like. Even though we were in the same room or same bed, just talking about the experience is erotic! I believe that this is the sexual excitement for a husband when his hot wife comes home. For her, the thrill of being with another is sexually arousing and coming home and retelling the story to her hubby is also sexually arousing. So why cant it not be the other way around? Can a wife not want her sexy husband to go out and fuck another woman AND come home and she gets off on all the sexy details?
"Did you eat her pussy?"
"Did she hold your head and push you deeper into her crotch?"
"Did she suck on your cock as good or better than i can?"
"Did she make you cum hard when you fucked?"
"Did she fuck you better than i can?"

In chatting with other husbands in hotwife scenarios, these are the types of questions he asks her. It doesnt happen in reverse?? Just curious.

 

[PapaRomantic]

I believe it does happen where women love having their husbands sleep with other woman, but certainly not as common.

This thread is a first person account of such a relationship...

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1360624

 

[ReadyOne]

My SOs would share, but didn't care.

I'm a male who has had several polyamorous "Y" secondary relationships, and my SOs has had hers. Two of my marriages were like this.

Generally, each spouse met the other spouse's lover(s).

Some even socialized with us, like both of us and one or more lovers at a super bowl party, university event. No boy-girl, no PDAs, etc. just "work friends" treatment between all of us. (I don't think it's polite to rub one relationship in the face of another.)

I, the male, sometimes did the whole "hot trip" getting my SO ready for a date, etc. For pillow talk, I ask for as much detail about their sexual encounters as she was comfortable in sharing.

Neither of my female spouses cared to know anything about the details of what went on between myself and my secondaries, nor did they do anything to "prepare" my for a date beyond what they would do if I was going to some social event. (That tie looks OK, let me straighten it for you.)

Maybe I just wasn't "hot" enough. Or maybe the female emotional connections are just unintelligible to men.

 

[DennisB]

I believe it does happen where women love having their husbands sleep with other woman, but certainly not as common.

This thread is a first person account of such a relationship...

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1360624

I read that and it is i teresting and erotic but it is differnt than a "hot husband" relationship. It is very erotic reading however.

 

[Naughtyboy31]

When a woman does it it's hot wifing. When a man does it it's considered cheating. Just sayin'

 

[KimGordon67]

I'm not monogamous and I don't expect monogamy from my guy, because I'm not a hypocrite. He is monogamous, although ironically he has slept with someone else since we've been together. (I have too, but to date only my now ex husband.) I had no problem with him doing that, and would have found it got to hear details, but he clearly didn't want to talk about it.

This isn't quite the situation posed by the OP. But don't assume all women are automatically jealous of their guys fucking someone else.

 

[LauraWilling]

When a woman does it it's hot wifing. When a man does it it's considered cheating. Just sayin'

It is also said that men who bed many women are studs, yet I've been called a slut for the same thing.

Seriously, Hot Husband I feel would be extremely rare. Most women get emotionally involved with husbands and boyfriends. We can also be very jealous when another woman sleeps with our men.


That is why I doubt there is many, if any Hot hubbies. And the things I cited are most women. My life was much different and I got past any of those emotions so long ago I can't remember when I stopped carin who my husband had sex with if he did. He shared me and that was more his thing than actually playing around himself. He was a watcher and had a handicap he was self conscious about.

 

[Samsacks]

I'd rather have a hotwife who was also into my bisexuality. We'd play together or separately (and compare notes!) I'd always be down for some clean up action.

 

[LauraWilling]

I'd rather have a hotwife who was also into my bisexuality. We'd play together or separately (and compare notes!) I'd always be down for some clean up action.

Samsacks, couples in the cuckold or hot wife lifestyle are often bi themselves. More so in the cuckold life than the hot wife, but a lot of hot wife hubbies are bi. My hubby was orally bi. and he enjoyed "clean up" also.

 

[cosmic_peach]

I read that and it is i teresting and erotic but it is differnt than a "hot husband" relationship. It is very erotic reading however.

Agreed, yes it was hot.

 

[cosmic_peach]

I'm not monogamous and I don't expect monogamy from my guy, because I'm not a hypocrite. He is monogamous, although ironically he has slept with someone else since we've been together. (I have too, but to date only my now ex husband.) I had no problem with him doing that, and would have found it got to hear details, but he clearly didn't want to talk about it.

This isn't quite the situation posed by the OP. But don't assume all women are automatically jealous of their guys fucking someone else.

Thanks for the comments, I appreciate your point of view on this.

 

[cosmic_peach]

I'm a male who has had several polyamorous "Y" secondary relationships, and my SOs has had hers. Two of my marriages were like this.

Generally, each spouse met the other spouse's lover(s).

Some even socialized with us, like both of us and one or more lovers at a super bowl party, university event. No boy-girl, no PDAs, etc. just "work friends" treatment between all of us. (I don't think it's polite to rub one relationship in the face of another.)

I, the male, sometimes did the whole "hot trip" getting my SO ready for a date, etc. For pillow talk, I ask for as much detail about their sexual encounters as she was comfortable in sharing.

Neither of my female spouses cared to know anything about the details of what went on between myself and my secondaries, nor did they do anything to "prepare" my for a date beyond what they would do if I was going to some social event. (That tie looks OK, let me straighten it for you.)

Maybe I just wasn't "hot" enough. Or maybe the female emotional connections are just unintelligible to men.

Interesting, thanks.

 

[cosmic_peach]

It is also said that men who bed many women are studs, yet I've been called a slut for the same thing.

I am in my 50's (just for a generational reference) and I am well aware of that "double standard" and it never fails to irritate me. My close friends growing up and the guys I hang out with now (some are the same) abhor that double standard and just don't understand it.

My current lover's niece lives on Tinder, she has had three maybe four times the number of sexual partners in the last two years than I have had in a lifetime. Her last "boyfriend" badgered her to reveal her partner count and once she did he was a total jerk with her, constantly referencing her "big" number etc. I told my lover she should dump him and move on. She eventually did. I am not sure why he thought it was ok for him to hang out on Tinder and hook up every weekend but not her. She should stay safe always, of course, and get a medal of merit.

 

[LauraWilling]

I agree with you 100% Cosmic Peach! If had a lot of partners, never counted them, but a lot and it would be a BIG number. I've learned just to shine those type of people on. I couldn't care less what they think and they ain't gettin' any! That's for sure!

 

[Jada59]

I'm not monogamous and I don't expect monogamy from my guy, because I'm not a hypocrite. He is monogamous, although ironically he has slept with someone else since we've been together. (I have too, but to date only my now ex husband.) I had no problem with him doing that, and would have found it got to hear details, but he clearly didn't want to talk about it.

This isn't quite the situation posed by the OP. But don't assume all women are automatically jealous of their guys fucking someone else.

I'm probably the odd one out. I was not married at the time. I had for lack of a better term, a BF. We didn't live together. That was never discussed. I don't recall either of us telling the other that we loved them. He did refer to himself as my BF. I was not his only woman. I knew that and I was okay with that.

The problem? My friends would see him out with other women, report this back to me and expect me to get angry. They'd become furious when I didn't. They began to see me as an idiot and him as an ogre. Got to the point where we couldn't be around my friends because they would yell at him or once, one physically attacked him.

Thing is, at the time, this sort of relationship worked for me! He had been married prior and had 5 kids. He rarely ever mentioned them. Perhaps only to say that he was going to visit them. Never any details and I never asked because I got the sense that he wanted them (or at least the kids) into his life more than they were and it just couldn't happen. He did love kids. That much I knew. Any time we went to a party where there were kids, he would make it a point to seek them out. OTOH, I don't like kids in general. Yeah I have one. She's an adult now. Kids do seem to like me and I get along with them just fine but I'd sooner seek out a dog or a cat than a kid. Heh.

Anyway... My point being, with this guy, I never really felt that I had him fully. I only had the parts of him that he allowed me to see. That did bother me somewhat but the sex was out of this world, he loved to dance and we always had a good time when we were together no matter what we were doing. We never had a fight or so much as a petty argument.

Then the day came when he made a confession to me. I should have known that something was up because he said he would take me anywhere I wanted to go. We saw a laser light show, finished the night with a little dancing, then back to my apt. where he asked for a snack. And while sitting at the kitchen table, he confessed to me that he had another woman and was feeling ambivalent about it. I wasn't sure what he meant by this but bottom line... He was asking me which one of us he should stay with and which one he should get rid of?

I was floored. I didn't feel this was my decision to make. I actually didn't get angry with him for having another woman or even for telling me about it. I got angry for expecting me to choose! The way I see it, you either want me or you don't. And if you don't, that's fine! Be with someone you do want to be with. To me there is nothing more pathetic than someone limping along in a relationship that isn't really working for them.

In the end, he didn't choose me and I don't think he chose her either but he had to go and kick it up a notch!

It was Valentines Day and I was at the same club where I met him. Was with some friends. I was dancing with my friend Jim. Now Jim is the kind of guy who looks really good on paper. Has all of the qualities that most women would be looking for in a man. The problem? For me there was no *spark*. We are still friends to this day but I regard him more like the older brother I never had. At any rate, he had never met my ex because at the time, he had been engaged to a woman who took up all of his time. Sadly, she dumped him. But I digress.

My ex asked the band to play that Stones song about... I used to love her but it's all over now. My ex kept bumping into me, rubbing against me, looking into my eyes, etc. Jim said to me, "I don't know what you did to that guy but he sure has it in for you!"

After the song ended, I approached my ex and asked to see him outside. He came with me. I seated him on the edge of the cement flower box thingie outside the door and we talked. I asked him how his life was going and told him how mine was going. Seemed a little better for both of us, at least financially. I also told him that I was thankful for the time we'd had together and how I had learned a lot of things from him. Can't remember the exact words now but I do remember keeping it positive. Then I asked if I could give him a hug? He said I could. I gave him a nice long hug and then told him to go back to his date. He did but first he said he was blown away by my behavior. Said he thought I was going to deck him!

I did see him once later. This time I was with friends, sitting on the ground and waiting for a fireworks show. He walked by with yet another woman and almost stepped on my hand. Another male friend of mine recognized him and took off running after him, going to give him a piece of his mind. That whole thing was rather comical. This particular friend is gay and got side tracked by a cute guy so crisis averted! Heh.

I dated some after that. Nothing serious or lasting. Then had a FWB. Again, I was not his one and only. He was bi. He did tell me sometimes of what he did with other people. I assume it was arousing for him to tell me these stories and sometimes they were arousing to me! Other times I just wondered why he was telling me.

I think the FWB part lasted for about a year. I then met the man that I wound up marrying. The two of them knew each other and even played football together but my now ex husband never knew that I'd had sex with him. We had agreed from the start that the sex thing would stay between the two of us. This was because we worked together and he had a rather bad reputation at least with some of the women for being what they called a male slut.

That all being said... I was not married to either of these guys. And we never made a commitment to one another to be their one and only. I also realize that most women would not want to enter into a relationship like I had with either one of them. And I know that if I had told my FWB that I didn't want to hear of his other conquests, he would have stopped telling me. But he also knew how I was. We'd go out and he'd start looking at other women and telling me things about them. Like... That blonde has the perfect lips for sucking dick! And I'd laugh and we'd discuss it. As in... How are her lips any different than mine?

Ah... Good times. In both of those relationships there was no hurt, no jealousy, nothing but good stuff. I actually don't understand jealousy. To me it stems from insecurity. When I am with a person, I want them to be happy. If they can't be happy with me or if it is some problem that we can't seem to work out in some way, then they should go find someone they can be happy with! Note that I did not say someone who would make them happy because again...that to me stems from insecurity. You need to be happy with yourself before you enter into any kind of relationship. Looking to find happiness that comes from another is kind of messed up.

Then on to my marriage! He seemed to be having affairs on me pretty much from day one. I found evidence of this time and time again and so did others in my life. It was glaringly obvious. And yet, he attempted to gaslight me again and again, telling me that I was just crazy.

Worse still, he would not allow me to get out of the marriage. To say that the man was messed up would be putting it mildly. I don't even want to get into all of that but I will say I could write a novel on all the ways he thwarted my attempts or anyone else's attempts to get me out of that marriage. I did learn my lesson there! That was not a marriage based on love. On his end, he saw me as a big potential money maker and nothing else. I saw him as a means of escape, a fresh start as we'd be moving to another part of the country, and I caved into pressure from my mom. Because just like my friend Jim, he looked good on paper, but in his case, *if* you only wrote down his good qualities. After we married, those qualities disappeared and I was left with only the bad qualities. Some of those had never appeared while we were dating or living together. I can now see that he likely constructed his life in such a way when we lived together so that we were rarely ever together. In that way he could cleverly cover all of that up.

Anyway... If my ex husband had been boasting of his other conquests, I wouldn't have been turned on or jealous but angry. Angry because he kept me trapped with him for 22 years. 22 miserable years where I could rarely ever do what I wanted but he always did what he wanted. That's no way to live.

I don't know what my future will bring but it's unlikely that I'll ever get married again. Would I make a commitment to someone and/or live with them? Perhaps. Would I screw around on them? No. That's just not in my nature. Would I let them screw around on me? Or if I did? Would I want them to tell me about it? I don't know. I always try to say never say never. Just too many variables. I also think there is no one size fits all. Would really depend on the person and how we felt about each other.

 

[Samsacks]

Samsacks, couples in the cuckold or hot wife lifestyle are often bi themselves. More so in the cuckold life than the hot wife, but a lot of hot wife hubbies are bi. My hubby was orally bi. and he enjoyed "clean up" also.

My thing is about her enjoying her sexuality freely and fully, not about humiliation or anything negative.

I've also fantasized about my wife "loaning" me to her friends.

 

[JackOffer]

Both of my late wives and I allowed each other to enjoy sex with anyone we wanted and always told each other about our exploits. I now have a husband and we have the same arrangement.

 

[jedclampet69]

It is also said that men who bed many women are studs, yet I've been called a slut for the same thing.

Seriously, Hot Husband I feel would be extremely rare. Most women get emotionally involved with husbands and boyfriends. We can also be very jealous when another woman sleeps with our men.


That is why I doubt there is many, if any Hot hubbies. And the things I cited are most women. My life was much different and I got past any of those emotions so long ago I can't remember when I stopped carin who my husband had sex with if he did. He shared me and that was more his thing than actually playing around himself. He was a watcher and had a handicap he was self conscious about.

This makes me laugh.. I've had a couple of g/fs who have seen other even a couple of mates.. They all line up in an attempt to have sex with the lady.. Some did she didn't .. Yet they would tell me.. She is a slut get rid of her.. Lol insecurities of some

 

[IceyBlue]

Compared to the number of hotwives, "hothusbands" must certainly be far and few between. I would think that most women with these desires would want to engage in this activity as swingers, as opposed to the cuckqueening lifestyle.

You'd be surprised, I never thought of it until my wife came to me asking if I'd fuck her friend, she was then married to a total waste, an abusive drunk.

After a few afternoons of playing, my wife is very bi, and now so is she. She is also now our live-in girlfriend since she had her eyes opened to what she was missing and left his sorry ass.

Since then I've been 'loaned' to several of their friends who desperately needed to get laid but for whatever reason didn't want to have an affair with someone else.

Me? Well I'm just a gentleman who can't say no to a damsel in distress...... LOL

 

[sub2femdom]

I think there's some confusion here over the definitions. While I've always been a strong advocate of not holding to rigid definitions, I find myself at the same time at least wanting to hold onto the basics-

Hotwife - A wife who has sex with someone other than her husband / SO. This isn't exclusive to women who do it without the husband present, but also with him in the next room, or in the same room; and sometimes even having him involved, in a cuckold or threesome role.

From what I've seen this distinction seems to be 50/50, with half the hotwives doing it away from the husband and the other half having him watch or participate.

Hot husbands isn't really a term, but the term for husbands who cuckold their wives - Making the wife watch him bang another woman, or having her participate in his and his mistresses' pleasure is referring to the wife as a "Cuckquean". The husband, sadly, gets no title other than "Typical male".

(that last part was intentional humor!)

 

[LauraWilling]

I think there's some confusion here over the definitions. While I've always been a strong advocate of not holding to rigid definitions, I find myself at the same time at least wanting to hold onto the basics-

Hotwife - A wife who has sex with someone other than her husband / SO. This isn't exclusive to women who do it without the husband present, but also with him in the next room, or in the same room; and sometimes even having him involved, in a cuckold or threesome role.

From what I've seen this distinction seems to be 50/50, with half the hotwives doing it away from the husband and the other half having him watch or participate.

Hot husbands isn't really a term, but the term for husbands who cuckold their wives - Making the wife watch him bang another woman, or having her participate in his and his mistresses' pleasure is referring to the wife as a "Cuckquean". The husband, sadly, gets no title other than "Typical male".

(that last part was intentional humor!)

Thanks for posting this. It is exactly my understanding also, but not sure I could explain it as well. Plus I wasn't sure if Hot Husband was some new tag for something I missed. LOL! That's why my posts were what they were.