HOT STORY needs feedback!

[Oasis690]

Hi, I just wrote my second story, "A Night To Remember," which is under Erotic Couplings. The response from voting has been great, and I would love to hear feedback from anyone who reads the story, especially women.
I am especially interested to hear directly what people want in a story...what gets them hot, and what gets them off. Also, I would like to hear what people DO NOT want in stories.
I do not care for incest, or space aliens or anything weird, just straightforward sex between men and women, women and women, and perhaps, men and men.
Finally, does the average reader, male or female, want to read longer stories, such as 3 or more parts, or do you prefer shorter one part stories?
I hope to hear from you, and I will try to incorporate any suggestions you have in my future stories.
THANKS!

Here is a link to my profile/stories: http://literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=49694

 

[Oasis690]

I have also posted some non-erotic poetry, for those of you who want something different. I would love to hear your feedback on my poems, or any of my work.

Thanks

 

[Uther_Pendragon]

Night to Remember

A nice, straightforward stroke story.

I didn't believe the narrator's instant readiness to go on
to intercourse after the blowjob of his life --
especially the copious production of semen at that time.
I've gone thrice in one night, not recently -- alas, but
I never produced much the second time.

There were also a few spelling and grammar errors that
detracted for me if not for everyone.

 

[Oasis690]

Thanks for the feedback.

I have third story in the pipeline that I have made certain there are no grammatical errors in.

On the sexual readiness immedietly after the blow job, I am not bragging, but if I am turned on enough I will not lose my hard on after an orgasm and I can start back up quickly. That is a real blessing that I hope I never lose, but likely will with age.

 

[Guest]

Good story! It is very hot! One of my fantasies has to get screwed by my hair stylist. Where is your new story, and what is it about?

 

[Guest]

I saw your other thread. I assume the Adventures story is the new one? I will check it out.

 

[Oasis690]

thanks, unregistered

My third story is Adventures in a Dressing Room, under exhibitionist/voyuer.
I hope you found it, if not you should definitely check it out. I am getting really good reviews and feedback.

I wonder though, do most authors get very little feedback, period, and virtually no feedback on the forum threads?
I have gotten a few emails, which is nice, but I thought I might get a few here.
Oh well,

Here is a link to my profile/stories: http://literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=49694

 

[Rrrosyn]

Re: A Night to Remember

Okay. I'm a woman. LOL

I found the story good. A bit hard to believe the second round of firing. *giggle* I have had one tired puppy go twice with me within a couple hours. But, the second time was less productive and I put in a bit of work my self for revitalization.

 

[daughter]

Southbound

Oasis--


I read "Southbound". Love the tone and pace. What I think can be improved are the sounds and word choices. You use inversions, which often sound unnatural. Would you honestly say,
"No longer can I wait"? There is no pattern or established meter in the read. I realize this is free verse. Nonetheless, one of the inherent qualities that distinguishes poetry from prose is rythm(or more formally, meter). This lacks a cadence that accentuates the sensuality of the read.

A good draft. I think there's more. Keep writing. I'll look for more from you.

Peace,

daughter

 

[Oasis690]

Re: Re: A Night to Remember

Okay. I'm a woman. LOL

I found the story good. A bit hard to believe the second round of firing. *giggle* I have had one tired puppy go twice with me within a couple hours. But, the second time was less productive and I put in a bit of work my self for revitalization.

Thanks for the feedback.

The second "round" is/was not so far fetched, at least to me. When I am EXTREMELY excited I have been able to maintain an erection after an orgasm without losing it. However, this does not happen often and hasn't happened in quite a while. I wish I could say the opposite! But, my point for including it in the story was that he was so excited he never lost his hard on. Not common, but not out of the question.

Later...

 

[Oasis690]

Re: Southbound

Oasis--


I read "Southbound". Love the tone and pace. What I think can be improved are the sounds and word choices. You use inversions, which often sound unnatural. Would you honestly say,
"No longer can I wait"? There is no pattern or established meter in the read. I realize this is free verse. Nonetheless, one of the inherent qualities that distinguishes poetry from prose is rythm(or more formally, meter). This lacks a cadence that accentuates the sensuality of the read.

A good draft. I think there's more. Keep writing. I'll look for more from you.

Peace,

daughter

Daughter,

Thank you for the feedback. Erotic poetry is new to me. I have written many non-erotic poems, and even posted a few here, but Southbound was my first try at erotic poetry.

I know I can do better, but I am so busy!! I know, everyone is. Well, thanks again for the feedback. I will take it to heart. Have you tried my stories? I really like Adventures in a Dressing Room.

 

[Guest]

ok mr Author

I haven't read your story yet, but I read the first two lines. If the story is worthwhile, the entry lines suck. I will go back and read more, but you need a better introduction. I would have stopped as a woman, because I've heard so many "hit lines" it isn't funny. You need a bit of originality. A great writer, IMHO grabs you from the get go. Yours so far didn't.

See my one and only story (so far) at: http://literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=3400

I've been a bit busy lately, but read my story.....

I'll finish reading yours, but the intent of this message is, I don't like your lead.

MoonWolf