Hospitals

[Just-Legal]

I don't know what it is about the bloody places but I *hate* them, the smell, the "feel"... everything. Which came about to be a bit of a bugger this week because my fiance's been taken in for surgery, and there were some complications... So I've been in and out of one for a few days.

And its just not going away, that gut-wrenching fear I get every time I go in that maybe he's not coming out again. Doesn't help one of the ward nurses is a total bitch, who I am completely convinced got in the job because it gave her power over people (I am in no way biased against the nursing staff in general, I've known too many nurses of all ranks and descriptions and grades TO be biased against them!) who ordered me out FIVE MINUTES after my fiance came down from surgery, before I had chance to check he was ok. So now I'm freaked about the place, and freaked because despite his giving the OK, they will NOT tell me anything.

I see more than ever the need for firm peices of legal documentation EVERYWHERE for people who either cannot, will not, or do not want to get married...

</rant off>

Someone slap me. Or hug me. Or both. I haven't stopped crying yet. This man is my world and this is just killing me...

 

[AppleBiter]

I don't know what it is about the bloody places but I *hate* them, the smell, the "feel"... everything. Which came about to be a bit of a bugger this week because my fiance's been taken in for surgery, and there were some complications... So I've been in and out of one for a few days.

And its just not going away, that gut-wrenching fear I get every time I go in that maybe he's not coming out again. Doesn't help one of the ward nurses is a total bitch, who I am completely convinced got in the job because it gave her power over people (I am in no way biased against the nursing staff in general, I've known too many nurses of all ranks and descriptions and grades TO be biased against them!) who ordered me out FIVE MINUTES after my fiance came down from surgery, before I had chance to check he was ok. So now I'm freaked about the place, and freaked because despite his giving the OK, they will NOT tell me anything.

I see more than ever the need for firm peices of legal documentation EVERYWHERE for people who either cannot, will not, or do not want to get married...

</rant off>

Someone slap me. Or hug me. Or both. I haven't stopped crying yet. This man is my world and this is just killing me...

Big, enormous hugs to you, sweetie.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Take a deep breath, J-Le. Doctors and nurses can act like bitches and what's worse; but they DO have to go through a long and thourough education to get their titles. Also, they double-check each other, so I'm sure your beau will be OK.

Now, come over here, join me on the couch, have some popcorn, ans let's watch this exciting episode of Kingdom Hospital...

 

[3113]

Hang in there, babe. I hate hospitals, too, and I know what you're going through. Don't let the bitch nurse push you around. Threaten to call a friend you have working for the local news--or call your lawyer and sue the hospital if she fucks with you again.

Most of all, make sure you take breaks from that place. Long ones. I speak from experience here. Go see a movie, take a walk in the park. Take shifts with family and friends who can call you back in if he wakes. Remember to eat--and for heaven's sake, don't eat at the hospital cafeteria. Go with friends or family to a restaurant instead.

Most of the time, you fiance is going to be drugged and sleeping and you won't be allowed to be with him, so rather than pacing the floors of the waiting room, get out and do what you need to do to maintain your sanity. He needs you sane and together.

You can do it. And when he wakes and is back, you'll be all there for him.

Keep us updated. Hugs

 

[Just-Legal]

Thanks guys.

He went in for diagnostic camera work and came out really messed up. I *know* how much training nurses have, my ex is one, but they are also trained in handling relatives (I've seen the paperwork) and she did miserably, and THAT is what pisses me off so much, the fact she wouldn't even let me say hello to my (at the time) concious partner.

So I'm left sat at home waiting for the phone to ring. And as for hospital food, bleh, I wouldn't eat it ever anyway. Haven't eaten much in days, I've tried, but the stress has made my IBS flare up to hell so nothing is staying down long.

Lemon tea. Need more lemon tea.

 

[AchtungNight]

I'm not a big fan of hospitals either. They suck. My condolences, JL. Hope you get through this soon and in a good way.

 

[minsue]

*HUGS*

 

[gauchecritic]

J-L make them send him to A or B ward, they're fantastic in there. (Only trouble is, they're the kid wards, they might not let him go)[if we're talking about the same hossy]

Don't argue with them either, cry instead, it works wonders. Can't let the other patients or visitors see anyone blubbing.

Long arms = big hugs. (I know you know how long my arms are.)

 

[Ravishing]

Thanks guys.

He went in for diagnostic camera work and came out really messed up. I *know* how much training nurses have, my ex is one, but they are also trained in handling relatives (I've seen the paperwork) and she did miserably, and THAT is what pisses me off so much, the fact she wouldn't even let me say hello to my (at the time) concious partner.

So I'm left sat at home waiting for the phone to ring. And as for hospital food, bleh, I wouldn't eat it ever anyway. Haven't eaten much in days, I've tried, but the stress has made my IBS flare up to hell so nothing is staying down long.

Lemon tea. Need more lemon tea.

I know what you mean about hospitals; my heart goes out to you both, and yes, the other posters ( I forgot names ** ) are right, you need to take good care of you, while this is happening. and *hugs* to you, and your sweetheart.

** Edit: ...And... I forgot I could scroll to find out.

 

[CopyCarver]

I see more than ever the need for firm peices of legal documentation EVERYWHERE for people who either cannot, will not, or do not want to get married...

I'm not an attorney (and don't play one on TV) but I know what worked for me. Several years ago, when my then-girlfriend was having some potentially dangerous procedures performed, she signed a power of attorney that authorized me to act on her behalf on any and all matters during the time she was hospitalized.

When an overzealous nurse's aide tried to chuck me out, I headed straight to the administrator's office. He quickly assured me I would have no further problems and--I heard after the fact--he read the staff a sermon from the book of threats. Cooperation thereafter was boundless.

Too late to help much now, but you might want to consider something like this if you you or your significant other are going to be hospitalized in the future.

 

[SeaCat]

I don't know what it is about the bloody places but I *hate* them, the smell, the "feel"... everything. Which came about to be a bit of a bugger this week because my fiance's been taken in for surgery, and there were some complications... So I've been in and out of one for a few days.

And its just not going away, that gut-wrenching fear I get every time I go in that maybe he's not coming out again. Doesn't help one of the ward nurses is a total bitch, who I am completely convinced got in the job because it gave her power over people (I am in no way biased against the nursing staff in general, I've known too many nurses of all ranks and descriptions and grades TO be biased against them!) who ordered me out FIVE MINUTES after my fiance came down from surgery, before I had chance to check he was ok. So now I'm freaked about the place, and freaked because despite his giving the OK, they will NOT tell me anything.

I see more than ever the need for firm peices of legal documentation EVERYWHERE for people who either cannot, will not, or do not want to get married...

</rant off>

Someone slap me. Or hug me. Or both. I haven't stopped crying yet. This man is my world and this is just killing me...

Helen,

First off my condolences.. It's never easy to visit the hospital, even if you work in one.

As for the Nurse from hell, yes some Nurses do let their supposed power go to their heads.

Now this is the important thing. You mentioned that your Fiance has given them the okay to keep you informed. How did he give them this okay? Was it in writing or was it verbal? If it was verbal there isn't a whole lot you can do. (Unfortunately.) If it was in writing, if it was on one of those nine hundred odd forms he signed before getting gassed then they do have to keep you informed.

If he did sign some papers saying you have the right to information then you also most likely have the right to be there. (Something I would seriously take up with the hospital Admin.)

Another important consideration is what kind of unit is he in? If he is in an Intensive Care Unit then they can and will limit visitation. If he is on an open unit then you can visit with him.

If the Nurse from hell continus with making your life miserable make sure you get her name and do complain about it. She has no right to make your life, in this difficult time, more difficult.

Cat

 

[rgraham666]

*hugs* J-l.

 

[scheherazade_79]

Hugs, JL. I've only ever done an overnighter, but that was horrible enough Yes, nurses can be awkward for a variety of reasons - it could be that they're snowed under with paperwork, have just received a gobful of abuse from a member of the public, or maybe just knackered after a long shift on not much sleep. Knowing this doesn't make it any easier to deal with when it's your loved one in there, but if you do something to brighten up that nurse's day and set it out as different - a smile, a glance, a conversation, a compliment - you'll be surprised how flexible and rewarding the service becomes

Before I left I was on first name terms with my healthcare team. The result was that I started being seen almost as soon as I arrived, my requests were met without hesitation and I received really thorough care.

It's a sad truth of human nature that we always do more for people we like.

Try it - I've no doubt you can be very charming when you put your mind to it

I hope your man gets better soon. He sounds very lucky to have you.

 

[Guest]

 

[Just-Legal]

Gauche - yes its that hospital. I wish they'd brought him to Pinders as its on my doorstep but they changed it at the last minute. And yes I know how long your arms are Thanks

Thanks to all for the hugs.

Found out something interesting today. Ran into the ex that is a nurse last night (ran for milk and he was walking home) and he knows staff on that ward, apparently they have a lot of patient transfers over there ect. Walked in today and everyone was nice. Hallelujah! Even got an apology from one of the nurses about Ms Bitch too, she's been warned before about her behavoiur and it didn't go down too well that a nurse from another hospital was wanting to know why I was being yelled at.

Mwahha, being a connected bitch works!

He's also signed some forms allowing complete disclosure to both myself and my mother (who is a bod in the IT services for the NHS - the nursing staff saw her ID card and panicked a bit because of where it had been issued) so I shouldn't have many more problems.

And!

HE'S GOING HOME TOMORROW!!!

Back in at some point next week to have some stuff done but we have the absolute promise it should be at most an overnight (yay) and all being well NOT on that Ward again (phew), so fingers crossed, he might be ok.

I didn't appreciate the surgeon's crack about conjugal visits though *shakes head*.

 

[English Lady]

*great big hugs* and you know i have an ear if you need it

 

[TheEarl]

Woot!

The Earl