Hope you like this.

[JudesMaster]

This is my first try at poetry in a long time. I have no real form, so I apologize if that offends. Please comment, even if you hate it. I need the criticism to improve. So with that said enjoy.

He is not like others

He has no appetite for pain

He has no desire for humiliation

Strength though gentleness

He is the master

Instead of many, he desires one

His pet is his world

Her devotion, and love is his power

She makes him, and he makes her

The burden of the Master is not known by his pet

The burden of the Pet is not known by her master.

They both live to serve

Love and Loyalty is what they seek

He is the Master, she is the Pet

She is the Master, he is the Pet.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

I like the ambiguity/duality hinted at by the repetition at the end. I think your poetry would be more effective, still, if you focused on showing how this is true. Can you evoke images? Create the story of what happens to make this dynamic? I look forward to more of your writing.

 

[bflagsst]

This is my first try at poetry in a long time. I have no real form, so I apologize if that offends. Please comment, even if you hate it. I need the criticism to improve. So with that said enjoy.

He is not like others

He has no appetite for pain

He has no desire for humiliation

Strength though gentleness

He is the master

Instead of many, he desires one

His pet is his world

Her devotion, and love is his power

She makes him, and he makes her

The burden of the Master is not known by his pet

The burden of the Pet is not known by her master.

They both live to serve

Love and Loyalty is what they seek

He is the Master, she is the Pet

She is the Master, he is the Pet.

I don't understand how the Slave/Pet serves the Master. The Master is deluded in thinking they have mastery over themselves or anyone else. The burden is never on the Pet to please, but the Master to please and arrange a lifestyle according to the Slave's desire. Seems the only service is the Master serving the Pet.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

I don't understand how the Slave/Pet serves the Master. The Master is deluded in thinking they have mastery over themselves or anyone else. The burden is never on the Pet to please, but the Master to please and arrange a lifestyle according to the Slave's desire. Seems the only service is the Master serving the Pet.

It seems that this is alluded to in the final line. Don't you think? This idea fits with my experience of D/s. Though the submissive is subject to the whim and interest of the Dominant, the Dominant is doing the majority of the preparation and work in some respects. It would be interesting to see if others felt this to be true, also.