Hooking up through personals

[Jander1]

Hello anyone!

I have been trying to find a partner for my first m to m through personals here and other more local sites. The problem I am having and that I have seen mentioned here before is that guys will reply and talk like they want to meet and then when it comes to following through they disappear. Does anyone know if there is a secret to hooking up with serious guys through personals? I have only one pic of myself and it is from a couple of years ago, though I look almost the same now.(only better.. ) Do I need to get a web cam or more pics of myself?
I have considered going to a gay bar or hangout by myself and attempting to find someone, or perhaps having a female friend go with me. Would this be a better route? I am married (wife knows I am looking) so I really want to be safe, and this is why I thought meeting and talking through IM first would be the best.
Anyway if there are any suggestions, please!! I really need for this to happen!
Thanx

 

[Jander1]

Oh well guess there really is no good advice for this...oh except maybe stop wasting my time here

 

[Angel]

Or you could have tried waiting for more than an hour an a half for a response.

 

[Raimondin]

Hello anyone!

I have been trying to find a partner for my first m to m through personals here and other more local sites. The problem I am having and that I have seen mentioned here before is that guys will reply and talk like they want to meet and then when it comes to following through they disappear. Does anyone know if there is a secret to hooking up with serious guys through personals? I have only one pic of myself and it is from a couple of years ago, though I look almost the same now.(only better.. ) Do I need to get a web cam or more pics of myself?
I have considered going to a gay bar or hangout by myself and attempting to find someone, or perhaps having a female friend go with me. Would this be a better route? I am married (wife knows I am looking) so I really want to be safe, and this is why I thought meeting and talking through IM first would be the best.
Anyway if there are any suggestions, please!! I really need for this to happen!
Thanx

Sounds like you're "thinking" too much about it rather than "doing." Yeah, I'd say go to a gay bar, preferably alone, because taking a friend along might get in the way. Then, maybe not. You might be surprised to find other guys such as yourself with the same goal in mind. Like I always say, "You don't know unless you try." Sometimes the "direct" way is the best way. Stop wasting time with personals...

 

[Jander1]

Sounds like you're "thinking" too much about it rather than "doing." Yeah, I'd say go to a gay bar, preferably alone, because taking a friend along might get in the way. Then, maybe not. You might be surprised to find other guys such as yourself with the same goal in mind. Like I always say, "You don't know unless you try." Sometimes the "direct" way is the best way. Stop wasting time with personals...

I think this is good advice. This is what I wanted to hear, the only thing holding me back was deciding whether to take a friend or not. Oh and I also wanted to lose my stomach, which I have almost done, so I feel more comfortable. I should just do it, you'd think I would've learned that growing up with all the Nike commercials!
Also Angel is correct, just impatient and thought I'd do something a little dramatic t get a response

 

[Jander1]

Sounds like you're "thinking" too much about it rather than "doing." Yeah, I'd say go to a gay bar, preferably alone, because taking a friend along might get in the way. Then, maybe not. You might be surprised to find other guys such as yourself with the same goal in mind. Like I always say, "You don't know unless you try." Sometimes the "direct" way is the best way. Stop wasting time with personals...

I think this is good advice. This is what I wanted to hear, the only thing holding me back was deciding whether to take a friend or not. Oh and I also wanted to lose my stomach, which I have almost done, so I feel more comfortable. I should just do it, you'd think I would've learned that growing up with all the Nike commercials!
Also, Angel you are right just impatient and thought I'd do something a little dramatic to get a response

 

[deezire1900]

Personals suck.

 

[Jander1]

Personals suck.

Yep, and apparently the guys who respond to them don't.

 

[deyv]

deleted

 

[WyldSpirit]

I found that I had much better luck using yahoo messenger than with any of the personals services when I was actively looking. Just get a yahoo ID and fill out the regular yahoo profile (not the personals profile, just the one for your ID) make your profile searchable, make sure to set it to show when you are online, add some interests and you should get some response. And of course, you can always search for contacts on yahoo messenger also by searching yahoo profiles. I have met tons of people this way (people who I have only talked to online and people who I have eventually, or very quickly, met in person)

Good Luck in your search!

 

[Jander1]

Thank you both for your advice, anything helps when you have not done something like this before. I have Yahoo messenger, and have read some profiles. Think I will create my own now. Over the past few evenings I have actually been talking to a guy through IM that I think may work out. We seem to have hit it off really well. I have thought this before, however I think I like this guy better than others I've talked to so I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Thanx again

 

[WyldSpirit]

Wooo hooo Jander, best of luck!

 

[bi golly]

The problem I am having and that I have seen mentioned here before is that guys will reply and talk like they want to meet and then when it comes to following through they disappear.

I set a date to meet this guy for coffee. We talked by cell a couple of times. I was on my way to meet him and was running about five minutes late. I called his cell and there wasn't an answer. I went to the place where we were supposed to meet. No show. About an hour later, he called and said that he hadn't heard his cell. I told him no thanks.

 

[Jander1]

I set a date to meet this guy for coffee. We talked by cell a couple of times. I was on my way to meet him and was running about five minutes late. I called his cell and there wasn't an answer. I went to the place where we were supposed to meet. No show. About an hour later, he called and said that he hadn't heard his cell. I told him no thanks.

It is unreal the amount of men that back out after making plans to meet a guy with the possibilty of having sex with a man for the first time. I assume that this was the guys first time? It's silly to me because in my situations it has been clear that nothing is expected, if something happens it happens. If not maybe you have at least made a friend. What can it hurt to at least get together?

 

[Jander1]

I set a date to meet this guy for coffee. We talked by cell a couple of times. I was on my way to meet him and was running about five minutes late. I called his cell and there wasn't an answer. I went to the place where we were supposed to meet. No show. About an hour later, he called and said that he hadn't heard his cell. I told him no thanks.

It is unreal the amount of men that back out after making plans to meet a guy with the possibilty of having sex with a man for the first time. I assume that this was the guys first time? It's silly to me because in my situations it has been clear that nothing is expected, if something happens it happens. If not maybe you have at least made a friend. What can it hurt to at least get together?
I think the moment of truth is coming soon for the guy I am currently talking to. He has suggested meeting for coffee, we just have to get our schedules together. Thanx for the luck, I believe I have some coming.

 

[funwdi]

It is unreal the amount of men that back out after making plans to meet a guy with the possibilty of having sex with a man for the first time. I assume that this was the guys first time? It's silly to me because in my situations it has been clear that nothing is expected, if something happens it happens. If not maybe you have at least made a friend. What can it hurt to at least get together?
I think the moment of truth is coming soon for the guy I am currently talking to. He has suggested meeting for coffee, we just have to get our schedules together. Thanx for the luck, I believe I have some coming.

I sure hope so...but remember, these guys are online, not in person. NOT a problem for them if they want to back out. Best if you meet someone in person...ie: gay bar, organization, etc. If you meet someone face to face, you have a better chance of actually going through with it.

 

[glamorilla]

Sounds like you're "thinking" too much about it rather than "doing." Yeah, I'd say go to a gay bar, preferably alone, because taking a friend along might get in the way. Then, maybe not. You might be surprised to find other guys such as yourself with the same goal in mind. Like I always say, "You don't know unless you try." Sometimes the "direct" way is the best way. Stop wasting time with personals...

nothing says "i'm going to score" like bringing your wife to a gay bar.

 

[deyv]

deleted

 

[Jander1]

I sure hope so...but remember, these guys are online, not in person. NOT a problem for them if they want to back out. Best if you meet someone in person...ie: gay bar, organization, etc. If you meet someone face to face, you have a better chance of actually going through with it.

Probably true that I'd have a better chance if met someone face to face. However if it works out with the guy I am talking to now, I will have been happy that I chose the personals' rout. It is a good way to get to know someone, and I need that to go through with it. I also wanted it to be someone in a similar situation, which this man is. Except that he has been with a couple of men prior, (I only have reasons to believe that he is honest about this) which would seem to make it more likely that he will not back out.
Oh and I could score in any kind of bar, bringing anyone along if that is what I set my mind to.

 

[Jander1]

Just thought I would give a little update for those of you who were kind enough to give advice. I am supposed to meet the guy I had mentioned for coffee tomorrow and go from there. I still like him very much, hopefully he shows up, and if there is a sexual attraction we will go from there. I have also made friends with a lesbian girl at work that has invited me to go out to the bars with her. So if plan A does not work....Anyway I am very excited as it has been a long time coming that I at least give this side of me a chance.

 

[WyldSpirit]

Just thought I would give a little update for those of you who were kind enough to give advice. I am supposed to meet the guy I had mentioned for coffee tomorrow and go from there. I still like him very much, hopefully he shows up, and if there is a sexual attraction we will go from there. I have also made friends with a lesbian girl at work that has invited me to go out to the bars with her. So if plan A does not work....Anyway I am very excited as it has been a long time coming that I at least give this side of me a chance.

Right on Jander!!! I'll be sending tons and tons of positive energy your way. I hope it works out with the guy you're meeting for coffee. Also, you can always go out to the bars with your friend from work anyway and let her introduce you to the scene if it doesn't work, or doesn't go as well as you hope.

Best of luck and let us know how it goes

 

[brw02]

Just thought I would give a little update for those of you who were kind enough to give advice. I am supposed to meet the guy I had mentioned for coffee tomorrow and go from there. I still like him very much, hopefully he shows up, and if there is a sexual attraction we will go from there. I have also made friends with a lesbian girl at work that has invited me to go out to the bars with her. So if plan A does not work....Anyway I am very excited as it has

Good for you, Jander1. Hope you enjoy.

 

[Jander1]

Appreciate the positive energy WyldSpirit I truely believe it may have contributed to an enjoyable Saturday afternoon.
I met with the man I have been talking with online. We had coffee and talked for about and hour and a half. We had a very enjoyable conversation about life, feelings, politics, etc. as we always do online. The coffee shop was kind of crowded and he has since told me that it made him sort of uncomfortable, that he wanted to talk about some things more and was intimidated. He wants to meet for lunch next week. Like I said I really enjoy talking to him and it was a good experience for me, kind of like a mini-step I guess just to meet with him. My only problem is he is quite a bit older than me, and I am not that attracted to him. He is kinda cute, though I don't know if I will ever want to have sex with him. Overall however he is a wonderful man, and at the least I have made a friend. Think I will try out the bars some time and see if I can meet someone younger. I did realize though that just as I have always been with women I can be picky with men. I just want it to be as close to perfect as possible my first time.

 

[WyldSpirit]

That's great Jander! You are over the biggest hurdle I think, actually meeting someone in person for the first time. Too bad the setting was a little uncomfortable and crowded, but it sounds like all in all it was a great experience and you've got a new friend I totally understand about being picky. We all have standards about what we do or don't want in a lover. Personally, I'm much more picky about what I look for in women than in what I look for in men.

Again, at least this has gotten you over that first big hurdle, and you can still go try out the bars with your lesbian friend and continue trying online until you find Mr. Right (or at least Mr. Right-Now)

Good Luck

 

[river_shaman]

Hello anyone!

I have been trying to find a partner for my first m to m through personals here and other more local sites. The problem I am having and that I have seen mentioned here before is that guys will reply and talk like they want to meet and then when it comes to following through they disappear. Does anyone know if there is a secret to hooking up with serious guys through personals? I have only one pic of myself and it is from a couple of years ago, though I look almost the same now.(only better.. ) Do I need to get a web cam or more pics of myself?
I have considered going to a gay bar or hangout by myself and attempting to find someone, or perhaps having a female friend go with me. Would this be a better route? I am married (wife knows I am looking) so I really want to be safe, and this is why I thought meeting and talking through IM first would be the best.
Anyway if there are any suggestions, please!! I really need for this to happen!
Thanx

I feel your paine...I have been stood up severl times... when you find out, please let me know