Hook The Reader

[NOIRTRASH]

Was there a noise that woke her? Roberta was never sure. The old house was full of night sounds. Floorboards creaked. Curtains rustled. Windowpanes, loose in their frames, rattled at the least touch of a breeze. She had been a light sleeper all her life. Caleb had just recently taken to sleeping through the night, and she had not yet entirely adjusted to his new schedule. The slightest sound could rouse her. Or had she dreamed a sound? There might have been music, that thin reedy music Ariel made on her flute. Roberta sat up in bed, curiously troubled, straining to hear something in the silence. Then she saw the woman. A dark shape hovered in the far corner of the room near the window. A woman, wrapped in a shawl, her face averted. Roberta pressed one hand to her breast. Her heart was fluttering, her mouth dry. She thought David, and her other hand reached out to her side, patting at empty air.


Block, Lawrence. Ariel (Classic Crime Library Book 16) (Kindle Locations 59-62). LB Productions. Kindle Edition.

Do your opening grab readers or stagger around like TAX RAT on Friday nights?

 

[jomar]

I suspect most writers try to hook the reader whether by starting in the middle of the action or something else compelling to get readers committed to the story.

Some years ago there was an AH writing challenge contest...several opening paragraphs submitted anonymously and judged by participants. It might have even been called hook the reader challenge. Was fun.

 

[HandsInTheDark]

I work for the Company; and I have to tell you, it’s great.

Of my own stuff, that's one of my favourite opening paragraphs. It's got two hooks - one, anyone who loves his job is Unlike The Reader and hence interesting, and two, capitalizing Company says right off that we're in a Jennifer Government kind of world and there's a unknown setting for the reader to get into here. The Situation is the hook.

Since I don't know where a story will go when I start, I try to write openings that male ME curious about what's next.

Tolstoy's best hook was "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." You're instantly Wondering. That's the best thing to make a reader do. The emotions are the hook.

Another hook of mine I'm still fond of:

I kind of hate my roommate.

Ok, not really. She’s sweet and considerate and never borrows stuff without asking, and she never flirted with my boyfriends. (They did flirt with her, but that’s not actually the problem. Ok it is a teensy part of the problem, but not… ok, it’s Definitely Related to the Problem but to be honest I don’t even fucking blame them.)

The problem – well, the original problem - is she’s gorgeous. Head to toe slathered in hotness. I’m pretty, she’s ravishing. All the damn time, and it’s not because she goes out of her way; she just wakes up looking radiant, spends about two minutes on makeup and less on her hair, and sails into her day, basking in the glances of the guys. Guys look at me and smile. Guys look at her and stop dead, staring.

She barely notices. Well of course she notices, guys freezing in their tracks left and right I mean how do you not notice, but she just keeps sailing right on by. Seriously I want to gouge her eyes out some mornings.

Or at least I did. Now it’s… kind of complicated.

Right off, there's some sort of conflict brewing between two characters (hook), both pretty females (hook), and the last sentence gives you the promise of a story to come. But the real hook here is that in these paragraphs you get insight into the speaker - her rushed grammar, capitalization of key phrases, understatement and overstatement for humor - you get her right off. Young, dramatic, first world problems, but still with a story to tell. You want to know what's up with this girl (and if you're a guy, you want more about the roommate). The character is the hook.

Describing a setting can be a hook. I'm not good at it, but McLean and Clarke were masters in their respective genres. McLean's "Bear Island" puts you on a trawler in the north atlantic. You feel like you're actually on the boat by the end of page one. It's like glue.

What's never worked for me was "Jennifer was 5'7", 34C, 110 pounds." I see that on the street every day. There's no story here and if I wanted to stroke to a pretty girl I have better options than a Lit story.

The first page should be like a supermodel slowly unbuttoning a blouse, not knowing you're watching. (Females, find your own analogy).

 

[NOIRTRASH]

MIRIAM

She was a widow: Mr. H. T. Miller had left a reasonable amount of insurance. Her interests were narrow, she had no friends to speak of, and she rarely journeyed farther than the corner grocery. The other people in the house never seemed to notice her: her clothes were matter-of-fact, her hair iron-gray, clipped and casually waved; she did not use cosmetics, her features were plain and inconspicuous, and on her last birthday she was sixty-one. Her activities were seldom spontaneous: she kept the two rooms immaculate, smoked an occasional cigarette, prepared her own meals and tended a canary. Then she met Miriam.

Capote, Truman. The Complete Stories of Truman Capote (Vintage International) (p. 37). Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

An early story by Truman Capote when he was 18 or 17. It launched his career.