Honesty the best policy?

[ARaynes]

Is honesty really the best policy?

I have been honest, or tried to most my life and when I tell people the truth, not what they want to hear, then it only causes me trouble. So tell me why is it that they say they want honesty, but what they really want is to hear what they want to hear.

I am so sick and tired of feeling one way, and hiding my feelings for so long letting them eat at me, more and more each day. So I tell people I love that there are things I want, and I tell them the truth, but then all they do is get upset with me as they hear what I have to say.

What is it that people really want?

Think about it, when a woman asks you, "Is my butt big in this?" They aren't asking for the truth, they want you to say, "Your beautiful the way you are."

Or when a person says, "Did you like my cooking?" You try to say, "Yes, it was delicious." Just because you know in your heart that they spent the last three hours trying to cook for you, and you don't want to hurt their feelings.

WE all just need to be serious and say, "Fuck no! I don't want honesty! I want you to lie to me and tell me what I want to hear so my world is a happier place."

 

[Cheyenne]

You forgot the "other" column so I had to vote for door number 3.

 

[Merelan]

If you ever figure this one out let me know.
It is all a case to case basis. Sometimes they really want the truth, othertimes no. You have to know when and where.

Just don't ask me how you are suppose to know.

 

[Tantanah]

Don't know if this means anything but my grandmother told me a long time ago (not sure where she got it from):

'the truth that's told with bad intent
beats any lie you can invent'

 

[Orwell84]

Great question, difficullt answer. I would say that truth is the best approach most of the time, but that a "tactical falsehood" now and then isn't so bad. The way I look at things, trust and loyalty are very important. If the lie impacts trust and loyalty issues, it is a very bad thing. When it comes to less significant concerns, such as whether someone's butt looks big, I don't have any problem with saying something that will spare someone's feelings even if it is not the truth. I guess for me it comes down to figuring out what's really important in the big picture, and often that does involve trying not to hurt anyone's feelings.

 

[hogjack]

I'd be...

...lying if I said I had an answer to this one.

 

[Merelan]

'the truth that's told with bad intent
beats any lie you can invent'






Oh I love that! My Grandmum use to say that too. Now I see what she meant.

 

[Kat-44]

hmmmmmm, maybe this is where evasive measures come in or creative answering......for example if some one asks does my butt look too big in this dress, there are a few ways to answer that

1) Blunt, brutal honesty:: yes, but thats ok, it looks big no matter what you are wearing, so it really doesn;t matter ( not recommended, lol)

2) lie:: You look fine! you always look fine to me, no matter what you are wearing.

3) constructive criticism:: I like that dress, but you know I think that other dress, you know the blue one, well that accentuates much more of your outstanding features, the color really brings out your eyes......

Myself, I prefer the total lie, to the constructive........hehe, If I looked in the mirror i already know the truth anyway......although sometimes we are our worse enemies.....