Honest Thoughts on Small Vaginas

[synapseliteshow]

I am a married woman, late twenties, and basically I would like an honest opinion from males on something that is affecting my love life.

The background:


Short Story: I have quite a small vagina if such a thing exists, which made intercourse incredibly difficult, painful, and on occasion bloody in my early days. There were a few years of good sex, despite the very... long-fought and hard-won, for lack of a better description, initial penetration. Later into my twenties, I'm finding penetration nearly impossible with my husband. (I've only been with one man ever). How would you feel about having a wife like this? What thoughts would run through your head?

Long Story: Here's the thing; I know vaginas stretch, as they are birth canals, but I also believe that as there are different sized people, along with that comes different sized openings. I'm petite and small-hipped and I believe my vagina may be quite a bit smaller than average, for a few reasons:

1. Could never ever get even slender tampons in me
2. Have never been courageous enoughto slip a finger inside myself, even now. It seems like it'd hurt too much.
3. At the gynocologist, I always have to get my doctor to use the teen sized speculum.
4. For the first ten times I had sex, I would bleed *a lot* and be in pain the entire time, couldn't walk afterwards for about an hour, and two-to-three days after walking would be painful.
5. Sometimes during sex months after I lost my virginity, it would still be incredibly painful to have sex, and I'd bleed during and afterwards.
6. My average-sized (? not sure- 6 inches long?) husband's cock would quite frequently hit against my cervix during sex, painfully and for the duration of sex.
7. Often during sex, especially from behind, I would have pains in my abdomen. One day I put my hand there and noticed the pain was caused by him bumping me through my body- I could quite literally see and feel the tip of his cock poking under teh skin of my stomach, as it was inserted and withdrawn.
8. The initial insertion is always painful and quite lengthy- always (I lost my virginity ten years ago, just in case that is important to know, should it still be painful?) Despite my arousal or copious amounts of lubricant, it is still very difficult for him to penetrate me.
9. For the past three years, sex has not even worked. I'm aroused and wet all the time, and we try so much, but cannot achieve penetration. There must be some psychological-turned-physical reason for this, unless my husband may have grown in girth and length since our early days together. Can that happen? We could no longer have sex starting in about 2009, when he was 25.

I feel so inadequate, like a failure as a wife and lover, and yes, even sometimes a failure as a human being. I couldn't even bring a life into this world- I fear I'd be one of those women to die during childbirth in the Middle Ages, supposing I could even be penetrated to allow impregnation.

I am also sensitive to the extreme. I cannot even stand to have my clitoris touched directly by myself, others, or objects. Warm water washing over is fine, but anything more substantial and it'll be so painful and intense. Nor can I stand to even attempt placing a finger inside. The things ladies do in porn to their pussies? I literally shudder with pain as if someone has just been sliced with a dagger. Nor can I let my husband rub me, despite countless sessions of me showing him how to do it gentler- it's always too intense. I have to rub myself with by only touching my ... umm outter lips?

The worries:

I have seen my doctor about this, she never thinks anything is wrong and says I just need a glass of wine. Others have told me that sex hurts for everyone in the beginning, but judging from amateur porn clips, that is nowhere near how difficult and painful penetration is for me. Some have told me that if I don't work through this, my husband will cheat on me (which, frankly, I wouldn't blame him for, and I'm surprised he hasn't yet) or worse, leave me.

I've tried anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication to calm me down, I've tried drinking alcohol before, watching porn, reading erotic stories, touching myself, foreplay that lasts hours (literally, 2 hours of foreplay before any attempts at penetration!) I've tried kegel exercises to allow me to better relax my pelvic floor muscles, and still nothing. Zilch. No penetration beyond the head of his cock. I'm just lucky I can still please him orally.


The Question:

My question is, how would you feel about having a wife like me? Would you leave me? Just cheat on me? Would you ignore me, shoving your way in to a bloody, screaming end? (Honestly, we've kind of tried him pushing despite the pain, and we can't even get past me.)
How must he really feel? Would you be secretly pleased only in some ways that your wife's pussy was too tight for your dick? I just want to know how it would make a man feel, because I want to know what he's' thinking, in all complete honesty even if it were to hurt me. Please.

And if any ladies are reading this and have experienced this, please, I would love to talk to you about it.

Thank you for your time and input.

 

[RoryN]

My question is, how would you feel about having a wife like me?

No problem whatsoever. Good oral and good hands go a long way.

Follow-up question: do you have an ass?

 

[slave_]

I am a married woman, late twenties, and basically I would like an honest opinion from males on something that is affecting my love life.

The background:


Short Story: I have quite a small vagina if such a thing exists, which made intercourse incredibly difficult, painful, and on occasion bloody in my early days. There were a few years of good sex, despite the very... long-fought and hard-won, for lack of a better description, initial penetration. Later into my twenties, I'm finding penetration nearly impossible with my husband. (I've only been with one man ever). How would you feel about having a wife like this? What thoughts would run through your head?

Long Story: Here's the thing; I know vaginas stretch, as they are birth canals, but I also believe that as there are different sized people, along with that comes different sized openings. I'm petite and small-hipped and I believe my vagina may be quite a bit smaller than average, for a few reasons:

1. Could never ever get even slender tampons in me
2. Have never been courageous enoughto slip a finger inside myself, even now. It seems like it'd hurt too much.
3. At the gynocologist, I always have to get my doctor to use the teen sized speculum.
4. For the first ten times I had sex, I would bleed *a lot* and be in pain the entire time, couldn't walk afterwards for about an hour, and two-to-three days after walking would be painful.
5. Sometimes during sex months after I lost my virginity, it would still be incredibly painful to have sex, and I'd bleed during and afterwards.
6. My average-sized (? not sure- 6 inches long?) husband's cock would quite frequently hit against my cervix during sex, painfully and for the duration of sex.
7. Often during sex, especially from behind, I would have pains in my abdomen. One day I put my hand there and noticed the pain was caused by him bumping me through my body- I could quite literally see and feel the tip of his cock poking under teh skin of my stomach, as it was inserted and withdrawn.
8. The initial insertion is always painful and quite lengthy- always (I lost my virginity ten years ago, just in case that is important to know, should it still be painful?) Despite my arousal or copious amounts of lubricant, it is still very difficult for him to penetrate me.
9. For the past three years, sex has not even worked. I'm aroused and wet all the time, and we try so much, but cannot achieve penetration. There must be some psychological-turned-physical reason for this, unless my husband may have grown in girth and length since our early days together. Can that happen? We could no longer have sex starting in about 2009, when he was 25.

I feel so inadequate, like a failure as a wife and lover, and yes, even sometimes a failure as a human being. I couldn't even bring a life into this world- I fear I'd be one of those women to die during childbirth in the Middle Ages, supposing I could even be penetrated to allow impregnation.

I am also sensitive to the extreme. I cannot even stand to have my clitoris touched directly by myself, others, or objects. Warm water washing over is fine, but anything more substantial and it'll be so painful and intense. Nor can I stand to even attempt placing a finger inside. The things ladies do in porn to their pussies? I literally shudder with pain as if someone has just been sliced with a dagger. Nor can I let my husband rub me, despite countless sessions of me showing him how to do it gentler- it's always too intense. I have to rub myself with by only touching my ... umm outter lips?

The worries:

I have seen my doctor about this, she never thinks anything is wrong and says I just need a glass of wine. Others have told me that sex hurts for everyone in the beginning, but judging from amateur porn clips, that is nowhere near how difficult and painful penetration is for me. Some have told me that if I don't work through this, my husband will cheat on me (which, frankly, I wouldn't blame him for, and I'm surprised he hasn't yet) or worse, leave me.

I've tried anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication to calm me down, I've tried drinking alcohol before, watching porn, reading erotic stories, touching myself, foreplay that lasts hours (literally, 2 hours of foreplay before any attempts at penetration!) I've tried kegel exercises to allow me to better relax my pelvic floor muscles, and still nothing. Zilch. No penetration beyond the head of his cock. I'm just lucky I can still please him orally.


The Question:

My question is, how would you feel about having a wife like me? Would you leave me? Just cheat on me? Would you ignore me, shoving your way in to a bloody, screaming end? (Honestly, we've kind of tried him pushing despite the pain, and we can't even get past me.)
How must he really feel? Would you be secretly pleased only in some ways that your wife's pussy was too tight for your dick? I just want to know how it would make a man feel, because I want to know what he's' thinking, in all complete honesty even if it were to hurt me. Please.

And if any ladies are reading this and have experienced this, please, I would love to talk to you about it.

Thank you for your time and input.

You should post this in the 'How To' section. http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=6

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

The Kama Sutra addresses this issue.

 

[unregistered]

 

[dolf]

get a new doctor.
what's the point in having a doctor who doesn't listen to or investigate your concerns.
google vaginismus and see if that might be the issue.
dead thread http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=355063

 

[synapseliteshow]

Thanks, Rory. That makes me feel a lot better. to answer your follow-up question, I've tried to get him to do anal with me, but he doesn't seem to want to try that. *shrugs* We've done it twice before, a long, long time ago. He enjoyed it then. He seems a bit conservative in that area thought.

slave, thanks for the input, but I'm not so much seeking advice on how to please my man, or how to have sex, so much as thoughts and feelings men would have if they had a wife with issues like mine. In that case, I don't know that 'how to' would be the area for that, but if moderators think this needs to be moved, by all means.

ms ann thrope, thank you. I will look into the Kama Sutra. Very good.

 

[RoryN]

Hook-up with Needle Dick The Bug Fucker, all will be well.

Your profile picture - and pretty much everything else about you - suggests you're attempting to compensate for a similar affliction.

 

[blobfish]

At least it won't be sinking any ships.

 

[blobfish]

To answer honestly, no, I wouldn't mind. It might be a little inconvenient and frustrating, but it's not something you can help. That's your body, and he should and probably does love you and it, in spite of its limitations.

 

[lovetoread]

get a new doctor.
what's the point in having a doctor who doesn't listen to or investigate your concerns.
google vaginismus and see if that might be the issue.
dead thread http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=355063

Yea, what she said.

 

[dolf]

Yea, what she said.

i never understand why anyone puts up with shitty, lazy, insensitive doctors.

and i wonder if this doc would have told an impotent man to drink some wine.

 

[blobfish]

and i wonder if this doc would have told an impotent man to drink some wine.

Maybe, if he had a small vagina.

 

[RoryN]

Vetteman is in a happy marriage with a small vagina.

(The rest of the world calls it a tail pipe, though.)

 

[warrior queen]

Just a thought - have you been tested for STD's?
I know you said he was your only partner, but what about him?
Some STD's manifest curious symptoms - for example, apparently herpes can cause generalised vulval pain over the entire area, as well as muscular pain. And I read somewhere that pelvic inflammatory disease can do similar.
Anyway, don't get upset by my suggestion.... it's meant in the spirit of helping

 

[lovetoread]

i never understand why anyone puts up with shitty, lazy, insensitive doctors.

and i wonder if this doc would have told an impotent man to drink some wine.

No, he would've gotten Viagra samples, a talk about how to get aroused, and maybe even a reference to a specialist.

 

[Saint Peter]

I was not aware they made small ones.

 

[slave_]

slave, thanks for the input, but I'm not so much seeking advice on how to please my man, or how to have sex, so much as thoughts and feelings men would have if they had a wife with issues like mine. In that case, I don't know that 'how to' would be the area for that, but if moderators think this needs to be moved, by all means.

I didn't read your post. On Lit when there are questions about health, relationships, cooking, knitting, computers... pretty much anything, people post on the 'How To' thread to get a straight answer, well, as straight as an answer as possible. It doesn't mean you would not get one on the GB, but your chances are better there.

 

[dolf]

i'm sick in the head. i just realised i'm envious of the pain you get. though as a youngster i hated it, as an adult freak i could quite get into it.

 

[dolf]

Just a thought - have you been tested for STD's?
I know you said he was your only partner, but what about him?
Some STD's manifest curious symptoms - for example, apparently herpes can cause generalised vulval pain over the entire area, as well as muscular pain. And I read somewhere that pelvic inflammatory disease can do similar.
Anyway, don't get upset by my suggestion.... it's meant in the spirit of helping

also, some infections cause internal scarring and adhesions that could cause pain.

 

[warrior queen]

also, some infections cause internal scarring and adhesions that could cause pain.

Totally forgot to write that, ty.
Oh, and I know someone whose PCOS causes her extreme pain too, to the point she actively avoids sex.

 

[Saint Peter]

Think of it more like a sleeping bag rather than a pair of shoes.

 

[Aquagal]

Are you sure you're wet enough? Have you tried lube also? And if you ever succeed at intercourse again, stick to a position that he doesn't slam into your cervix. I'm not fond of that either and it made me cringe when you described it. I know some like it, however.

 

[eyer]

** MOVED **

...to the Ladies of Lit, do you like jewelry? thread

 

[bigbritish]

really interesting... i'm somewhat similar in that i have those pain kind of reactions you're talking about that are probably psychological as much as physical. in a way, i relate a lot!

over time, you have probably built up a series of really negative and bad feelings around the doctor, your husband, intercourse, all the pressure you must feel to have kids, etc. literally when you have or think about intercourse, you're reliving all of these negative feelings at once. i'm actually amazed at this.

your solution then is to detach entirely from the negative stimuli and refocus 1 by 1 how you think, feel, act and react. get rid of the doctor. get on online forums like this one and get the birthing situation answered. remember and actively *practice* not getting into the emotions of it. you like most people are a very strong person so remember that you only need to answer the questions objectively; i.e. can you deliver without impact to your health? there's a c-section, too. again, i'm really amazed because i relate to your neuroticism (no offense intended). if you stepped back and checked your thoughts it's evident you make a lot of assumptions and they're mostly routing to your "danger" or anxiety reactions. the best part is that a lot of men love this kind of thing, and what you're anxious over might actually be what other people enjoy a lot!

i'd bet you can have some pretty great sex this way. get your partner to stretch you out over time. that would be some of the most rewarding sex ever.

i had sex with someone a little over a month ago and it was like this. she was tight -- i don't know that i'd say the tightest -- but i used my fingers first and by the time i had my head in she was literally trying to pull the rest of me in! to fill a woman is a great feeling, and i think you can treat it like any other muscle. muscles stretch and grow how you want them to, or if it helps think of horticulture you can prune parts of a tree to make branches grow in even the most deliberate of ways!

i hope this finds you well...

sincerely,

someone who's just as sensitive as it seems you are