Honest Cheating

[Carnevil9]

I'm working on a story that explores a fine point of morality, and would appreciate some input from you guys and gals.

Two gentlemen work for the same company, and are both sent on an extended business trip out of town. Both are married. Both are lonely on the road, and each meet a lady, and begin to fuck around with them.

One of the two dudes takes off his wedding ring, tells the chick he meets that he is single, and begins sleeping with her, promising her that he is available and wants to have a long term relationship with her. He is lying, of course. He fully intends to go back to his wife when the business trip is over.

The other dude is truthful to his road chick. He tells her that he is married, that he loves his wife, and intends to stay with her, but that he is lonely on the road and needs sex. She understands, and respects his commitment to his wife. Nevertheless, they embark on a short-term physical relationship, with the understanding that he will go back to his wife when the business trip is over.

The crux of the story is to explore the difference in the moral position of the two dudes: both are cheating on their wives, it is true. But one is lying to the chick he is fucking, and the other is not.

Is there a moral difference between what the two are doing? Is one taking the high road, and the other the low road? Or are they both despicable cheaters? I'm not sure where I stand on this question, and I'm not sure if I want the story to take a stand, but I'd like it to explore the differences between the two situations, and leave it to the reader to draw their own conclusions.

What do you all think? All opinions and musings are welcome.....Carney

 

[yevkassem72]

One is bad, the other worse, but I can't judge too much. I've committed my share of adultery, after all.

 

[docgbrown]

My imput on it

In my experience, the married cheater, whither they remove their ring or not, tells their potential bedmates that they are separated. They see it as a half-truth as, while they are out of town, they are geographically separated from their spouse. This policy is often called "the 50-mile rule" and is used by both genders.

I find those that are up front and honest cheaters as being less despicable, less dishonest and less prone to problems when it ends. The 'other person' is less likely to react poorly when it ends and may aid in keeping the privacy of the cheater.

In many of these situations the spouse left behind actually often has an inkling as to what is going on when 'separated.' In the case of females that cheat when they separated their husbands are often happy with it, encourage it but don't want her lover to know he knows and is ok with it.

With the two situations you present I’ll take them in inverse order. As you described, the second one is merely lonely, horny and is looking for a non-porn outlet. He may even be in an open relationship where the spouse tolerates or approves of his dalliances. Don’t scoff at it too quickly as most women know when their men cheat and this has been common in our species for thousands of years.

The fellow in the first situation seems to be in an artificial fantasy world all his own. Telling a gal that you are looking for love and a long term relationship exposes you to the other woman wanting to know more about you, meet your parents, move in together and have kids. All of these venues are potential openings to discover your lines are lies. This situation, of lying to everyone involved, is one that is likely doomed to come crashing down, causing him to lose in both situations.

 

[yevkassem72]

I know about and have done the "50 mile thing". And I'm pretty sure that in my absence, my wife was getting busy with other men, too. It was mutual infidelity, but not an open marriage. We just kind of let that be one more factor in the decline of our marriage, since we both acted very hypocritical about it. I've realized since then what a jackass I was on the issue and so has she (at least I hope so). Oh, well, you live and learn.

 

[Penelope Street]

Is there a moral difference between what the two are doing? Is one taking the high road, and the other the low road? Or are they both despicable cheaters?

They're both taking a low road- though one is lower than the other.

 

[swallowedme]

While the more honest of the two may have an open relationship I think you might want to look at what would motivate a person to claim interest in a long term relationship during a temporary trip. Is this a man that wants his bed partner to be infatuated, dependant and even in love with him? Does he get off on the potential for drama and emotional pain that are inevitable?

 

[yevkassem72]

I personally never have tried to con a woman that way, but that is just me. When I told her I was married, I also told her that I was not looking for a new wife at all. I wasn't shopping to trade one wife in for another. The last thing I felt like was a new wife, and I was honest about that. I just wasn't honest with my own spouse.

 

[emap]

Carney that above is actually the real moral dilemma, what do they tell the wife?

It's not so much what you tell your one nighter, or three nighter, though longer does matter, it all boils down to what the wife knows.

Either man goes home and confesses to the wife it is heaps better than going home to the wife and not telling her. Especially since she will find out when she does the laundry, don't think the lipstick on the collar is there by accident, or that her perfume is on your pants by accident.

Most women like to mark their victories, though usually not with a nick in the headboard, so we kiss the collar, or we sprinkle perfume on the pants, usually when he is asleep after. When we want to keep him, we make them obvious, hence the lipstick on the collar, when we don't or know he is married, we sprinkle perfume on his pants to mark him as taken so the wife will know he is cheating, or just that he is an OK screw.

 

[Carnevil9]

Carney that above is actually the real moral dilemma, what do they tell the wife?

It's not so much what you tell your one nighter, or three nighter, though longer does matter, it all boils down to what the wife knows.

Either man goes home and confesses to the wife it is heaps better than going home to the wife and not telling her. Especially since she will find out when she does the laundry, don't think the lipstick on the collar is there by accident, or that her perfume is on your pants by accident.

Most women like to mark their victories, though usually not with a nick in the headboard, so we kiss the collar, or we sprinkle perfume on the pants, usually when he is asleep after. When we want to keep him, we make them obvious, hence the lipstick on the collar, when we don't or know he is married, we sprinkle perfume on his pants to mark him as taken so the wife will know he is cheating, or just that he is an OK screw.

Wow! That's news to me. Thanks for the heads-up.....Carney (who doesn't cheat at all, except in Lit stories)

 

[emap]

Not all women do this mind you, and most likely there are other ways of doing it. Though I am not surprised you had no clue, we are devious, and sneaky.

 

[yevkassem72]

So, that was what that conniving little woman did that for? I knew that she was being sneaky, but couldn't figure out exactly what her plan was in the long term...grrrr...oh, well, water under the bridge....I'm getting divorced, anyway, now.

 

[emap]

Well good lesson for you, no cheating unless she knows and can or doesn't mind.

 

[Carnevil9]

While the more honest of the two may have an open relationship I think you might want to look at what would motivate a person to claim interest in a long term relationship during a temporary trip. Is this a man that wants his bed partner to be infatuated, dependant and even in love with him? Does he get off on the potential for drama and emotional pain that are inevitable?

I didn't imagine him TRYING to cause pain; just taking the standard tactic of appearing single so as to appeal to more women and thereby increasing his chances. Like those sleazy guys who take off their wedding ring when going to a singles bar.

But, on the other hand, many do hold the theory that women are more attracted to married men; especially women who just want to fool around. Maybe this story could be restructured like this:

A married guy and a single guy are both going on the business trip. Married guy believes he'll have better chances at "getting lucky" if he appears single, and so takes off his wedding ring. Single guy is of the opposite belief: that he'll attract more women if they think he is married. So he borrows married guy's ring and wears it for the trip! Each of them end up acquiring a woman for the duration of the trip, but they are totally different types of women, interested in different things. The possibilities from that point on are legion......Carney

 

[togitc]

A married guy and a single guy are both going on the business trip. Married guy believes he'll have better chances at "getting lucky" if he appears single, and so takes off his wedding ring. Single guy is of the opposite belief: that he'll attract more women if they think he is married. So he borrows married guy's ring and wears it for the trip! Each of them end up acquiring a woman for the duration of the trip, but they are totally different types of women, interested in different things. The possibilities from that point on are legion......Carney

This could be a very interesting story. If you want to play it straight then I see lots of drama for both of them.

If you want to play it comic then I see plenty of options for that as well. Reminds me of something I heard a long time ago about a group of guys who wear wedding rings to get laid. I think it was a story idea. But basically it becomes that they attract women who either just want sex or who get off on destroying a happy-ish home but it back-fires when the men are in fact single.

Yeah...

 

[subwannabe]

both are being immoral as far as their wives are concerned. One is being moral with his girlfriend, the other is not.

 

[yevkassem72]

Well good lesson for you, no cheating unless she knows and can or doesn't mind.

Well, I'm done with attempts at monogamy and plan to tell the next woman I fall for, if I do...or the next woman I might fall for, for that matter. Between catching my wife cheating and worrying about her catching me, it was no damn fun...well, except from the sex and the savage thrill of revenge on her for her infidelity.

Best to adopt the French attitude of winking at it or simply have an open marriage.

 

[swallowedme]

I didn't imagine him TRYING to cause pain; just taking the standard tactic of appearing single so as to appeal to more women and thereby increasing his chances. Like those sleazy guys who take off their wedding ring when going to a singles bar.

But, on the other hand, many do hold the theory that women are more attracted to married men; especially women who just want to fool around. Maybe this story could be restructured like this:

A married guy and a single guy are both going on the business trip. Married guy believes he'll have better chances at "getting lucky" if he appears single, and so takes off his wedding ring. Single guy is of the opposite belief: that he'll attract more women if they think he is married. So he borrows married guy's ring and wears it for the trip! Each of them end up acquiring a woman for the duration of the trip, but they are totally different types of women, interested in different things. The possibilities from that point on are legion......Carney

But why change it? I think for a good percentage of the poulation it is the questions of what drives people to do the things that they do, especially things deemed 'wrong' that they would like to explore in these types of stories. Skip the emotionless mechanics of dirty/erotica/porno scences and ask me to connect to the the character. I have fucked out of sheer boredom, perfect strangers. Out of rage and loneliness too. Pooh... I am tired and not making sense! lol Well forgive me, I'm new, and I will try to remember to find this thread and be more coherent in the morning!
~M

 

[aymanmosstfa]

Cheating is Cheating so both is same man