Homophobe

[Magnetron]

Homophobe

Our Heavenly Father is Loving and Just

Obey his laws, you certainly must

For He hath surely condemned
Each and every Homosexual

It clearly states this in my Twentieth Century
Revised Modern English Translation
Of The One And Only Holy Bible

With weapons of mass destruction
Sodom and Gomora were annihilated
Without a single ounce of regret
Not even a shredded sliver of remorse
Every single resident violated
The little known Thirteenth Commandment
Chiseled in stone, communicated to all
Thou Shalt Have Heterosexual Intercourse

Just you nevermind the part of the story
In which the Lord in all his Shining Glory
Ignored Lot's proposal to have his daughters
Gangraped and Sodomited
Or turned his wife to salt
The bitch was deserving, it was her fault
It's crystal clear, no muddy waters here
Nothing for you to get excited

Nevermind those other verses
Joe Religionist oft insists are properly translated
Obscure words of Leviticus
In which the Almighty clearly mandated
Animal sacrifices to purge your sins
The Death Penalty for disobeying His laws
Toleration of slavery among other things
Try not to focus on these flaws

Homophobe, through my telescope
I see you orbiting the globe
In your linear, cunt twitching
Witchhunting anal probe

What sadistic angel perched on your shoulder
And tugged at your lobe
Filled you brain with such hatred
For the average ordinary everyday Job

It would please us if Mister Jesus
Returned and not a minute too soon
And Raptured those lacking independent thought
To some distant, secluded moon

Let them colonize their own private Heaven
Far away from every normal Christian
Paradise Lost on the edge of the solar system
How nice it would be for us and them

A planet free of homosexuality
To compliment their own warped reality
Like Adam and Eve and all the rest
Who felt that incest was the best

Homophobe, through my telescope
I see you orbiting the globe
In your linear, cunt twitching
Witchhunting anal probe

What sadistic angel perched on your shoulder
And tugged at your lobe
Filled you brain with such hatred
For the average ordinary everyday Job

 

[Sinny]

Homophobe

Our Heavenly Father is Loving and Just

Obey his laws, you certainly must

For He hath surely condemned
Each and every Homosexual

It clearly states this in my Twentieth Century
Revised Modern English Translation
Of The One And Only Holy Bible

With weapons of mass destruction
Sodom and Gomora were annihilated
Without a single ounce of regret
Not even a shredded sliver of remorse
Every single resident violated
The little known Thirteenth Commandment
Chiseled in stone, communicated to all
Thou Shalt Have Heterosexual Intercourse

Just you nevermind the part of the story
In which the Lord in all his Shining Glory
Ignored Lot's proposal to have his daughters
Gangraped and Sodomited
Or turned his wife to salt
The bitch was deserving, it was her fault
It's crystal clear, no muddy waters here
Nothing for you to get excited

Nevermind those other verses
Joe Religionist oft insists are properly translated
Obscure words of Leviticus
In which the Almighty clearly mandated
Animal sacrifices to purge your sins
The Death Penalty for disobeying His laws
Toleration of slavery among other things
Try not to focus on these flaws

Homophobe, through my telescope
I see you orbiting the globe
In your linear, cunt twitching
Witchhunting anal probe

What sadistic angel perched on your shoulder
And tugged at your lobe
Filled you brain with such hatred
For the average ordinary everyday Job

It would please us if Mister Jesus
Returned and not a minute too soon
And Raptured those lacking independent thought
To some distant, secluded moon

Let them colonize their own private Heaven
Far away from every normal Christian
Paradise Lost on the edge of the solar system
How nice it would be for us and them

A planet free of homosexuality
To compliment their own warped reality
Like Adam and Eve and all the rest
Who felt that incest was the best

Homophobe, through my telescope
I see you orbiting the globe
In your linear, cunt twitching
Witchhunting anal probe

What sadistic angel perched on your shoulder
And tugged at your lobe
Filled you brain with such hatred
For the average ordinary everyday Job

was that a class assignment, or are you just freeforming your next rap song?

 

[Debbie]

Are there any rules against posting poetry in the General forum?

Sometimes I enjoy lobbing a lyrical grenade into a flaming trashcan just to see how the natives react. Knock people out of their comfort zones. Put them on the defensive. Get them discussing issues.

Would such a pastime be discouraged?

Let me bend your ear and tell you this
The GB is so full of vinegar and piss
We have in built bullshit detectors
And regulars who are frequent masturbators
You can't fuck with us and create a fuss

So stick your grenade in your recycle bin
I hope your head isn't in a total spin
We are the general board we have few rules
Nor do we take prisoners or tolerate fools
Get back to the poetry forum and say hi from us

 

[pointless]

dear god. it reminds me of the idiotic horseshit i wrote when i was young and stupid.

 

[Magnetron]

No disagreement that some Christians can be very illogical and stoopid.

Good to know that the General Population here may have some smarts.

Makes me warm and tingly.

 

[butters]

No disagreement that some Christians can be very illogical and stoopid.

Good to know that the General Population here may have some smarts.

Makes me warm and tingly.

and so it should.

as a side note, i think this would have worked better pared back, but since you're throwing it out there to open debate i'm not entirely sure how much of one you'll get. those with a brain will already be on the train, and those who're flaming homophobes might just come and yell.

at least you didn't use 'rosebud'!

 

[islandman]

tl; dr; ps

 

[Magnetron]

at least you didn't use 'rosebud'!

I'm not giving out my rosebud to just anyone on the playground.

 

[Skiddles2014]

What a gay thread.

 

[Noor]

Sodom and Gemorrah was about xenophobia and not raping strangers, also about daughters being considered reasonable substitutes by their father.

I figure Lot's wife intentionally turned herself to stone because she couldn't face the future with a man who would give his daughters to a mob of rapists.

 

[butters]

I'm not giving out my rosebud to just anyone on the playground.

choosy, huh?

 

[txboyalone]

Jesus left us with only one commandment to "Love One Another" us gay guys are just trying to treat everyone equally. I loved a guy last night until he came three times. Now that is love.

 

[Magnetron]

was that a class assignment, or are you just freeforming your next rap song?

Yo yo yos
Listen up all you Poets and Shmoes

You made me crack a smile
Caused me to bust out in a freestyle
But when I pulls out my 9 inch glock
You best be off runnin' the 8 Mile

Word

 

[Magnetron]

What a gay thread.

Not really.

Jesus left us with only one commandment to "Love One Another" us gay guys are just trying to treat everyone equally. I loved a guy last night until he came three times. Now that is love.

OK .... now it is pretty gay.

 

[Magnetron]

dear god. it reminds me of the idiotic horseshit i wrote when i was young and stupid.

I probably wrote it about 6 or 7 years ago when some sociopathic twit with no life was nonstop spamming my local newspaper forum with cut & paste anti-gay and anti-abortion literature.

 

[renard_ruse]

Fuck off, faggot.

The 98% are actually start to just ignore your constant crap. At some point, dear faggots, less is more. I think you passed that point, long ago.

Its not going to turn us queer or accept you.

 

[renard_ruse]

I probably wrote it about 6 or 7 years ago when some sociopathic twit with no life was nonstop spamming my local newspaper forum with cut & paste anti-gay and anti-abortion literature.

Sociopaths with no life constantly spamming, like many of the liberals on here with 150 alts?

 

[Queersetti]

Sodom and Gemorrah was about xenophobia and not raping strangers, also about daughters being considered reasonable substitutes by their father.

I figure Lot's wife intentionally turned herself to stone because she couldn't face the future with a man who would give his daughters to a mob of rapists.

Not stone, salt. lot's wife turned to salt. Because god is, um, just and all that.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Fuck off, faggot.

The 98% are actually start to just ignore your constant crap. At some point, dear faggots, less is more. I think you passed that point, long ago.

Its not going to turn us queer or accept you.

Someone's in denial of his true self, methinks.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/21884743037c1d54ed89de6a5762d212/tumblr_mqv3glRdn71syzguyo1_1280.jpg

 

[Bert Notorius]

i need to get me one of those new homophones.

 

[QueenLevitra]

Ah, Geeeeez,

Look what Old Chapped Ass did,

AGAIN.

 

[subdued_passion]

Yo yo yos
Listen up all you Poets and Shmoes

You made me crack a smile
Caused me to bust out in a freestyle
But when I pulls out my 9 inch glock
You best be off runnin' the 8 Mile

Word

How white are you that you couldn't manage a few lines without an eminem ref?

 

[Magnetron]

Fuck off, faggot.

The 98% are actually start to just ignore your constant crap. At some point, dear faggots, less is more. I think you passed that point, long ago.

Its not going to turn us queer or accept you.

The lyrics were about stoopid Christians.

Focus.

And I'm not gay.

Many dumbass assumptions you make.

 

[Laurel]

was that a class assignment, or are you just freeforming your next rap song?

Teachers assign homework that involves posting on Lit?

Not sure how I feel about this.

 

[Magnetron]

How white are you that you couldn't manage a few lines without an eminem ref?

Hideously pale like a vampire and not a sexy looking one at that.