Holiday Tunes I Hate....

[3113]

As there's a thread on tunes we liked, I thought I'd put one up one ones we can't stand; because you know, during the holidays, you're going to hear many of the same tunes over and over again, so the one(s) you really don't like are bound to show up again and again, no escaping. In fact you might hear the same one five times by five different artists almost in a row.

I'll tell you what's been playing lately that I cannot, cannot, cannot stand! The "Charlie Brown Christmas" music! UGH! No offense to Shultz or Peanut lovers, but I was never a big Peanuts fan...and I hate that slow, jazzy music. It's so damn repetitive and depressing, it makes me want to slit my wrists.

"Christmas Time is Here" is the worst! Hate that tune; the kids singing it sound like they've all been institutionalized, put on sedatives and forced to sing the tune while wearing straightjackets. If I never hear it again it'll be too soon. Unfortunately, it's either making a come back, or I'm so sensitive to it, that I hear it when its turn comes around rather than tuning it out like so many other holiday songs.

So. What holiday tune do you despise?

 

[Stella_Omega]

A sheer hatred of repetitive music is keeping me away from almost all of the stores right now. Actually, it keeps me out of most stores, most of the time. But this time of year is so much worse. I mostly can't stay put long enough to give them my money. I've told managers, too.

Hearing "Frosty The Snowman" sung with religious fervor is nauseating, and hearing "Adeste Fidelis" sung like bubblegum rock is equally so.
I don't want to hear Vanessa Williams sing "Sleigh ride" another hundred times, and I am going to slam that drum over that little boy's haed if he hits it just once more.

And every time I hear Nat King Cole sing anything it makes my jaws hurt; To have such a glorious voice and to waste it on such pap songs smothered in such garbage arrangements!

 

[TE999]

A sheer hatred of repetitive music is keeping me away from almost all of the stores right now. Actually, it keeps me out of most stores, most of the time. But this time of year is so much worse. I mostly can't stay put long enough to give them my money. I've told managers, too.

Hearing "Frosty The Snowman" sung with religious fervor is nauseating, and hearing "Adeste Fidelis" sung like bubblegum rock is equally so.
I don't want to hear Vanessa Williams sing "Sleigh ride" another hundred times, and I am going to slam that drum over that little boy's haed if he hits it just once more.

And every time I hear Nat King Cole sing anything it makes my jaws hurt; To have such a glorious voice and to waste it on such pap songs smothered in such garbage arrangements!

Don't hold back sweetie. Tell us how you really feel.






j/k

 

[jomar]

'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer' is fun only once a year- once, a single listen. So is the dog-bark version of 'Jingle Bells,' maybe. And 'The Little Drummer Boy' is starting to annoy me.

 

[carsonshepherd]

I say we make up new ones:

Santa Claus is Coming In Your Face
I Saw Mommy Banging Santa Claus

 

[Stella_Omega]

Jim Kweskin wrote one a while ago called "Santa Lost a Ho";

He used to go 'Ho, ho, ho."
Now he only goes "Ho,ho,"
Oh no!
Where'd the other ho go?
Santa lost a ho!

 

[jomar]

Deck the Halls With Bras From Holly

Ohhhh, Cum All Ye Faithful...

 

[TE999]

Randolph the Brown Nosed Reindeer.

He was behind Rudolph when he stopped short on a roof.

 

[3113]

I say we make up new ones:

Santa Claus is Coming In Your Face
I Saw Mommy Banging Santa Claus

Here's a list of the 100 all-time bummer Christmas music for those who want "anti-holiday" tunes to hum at this time of year. My favorite on the list is "Please Daddy, don't get Drunk this Christmas!"

 

[jomar]

My favorite on the list is "Please Daddy, don't get Drunk this Christmas!"

Ahh, country music. I like 'How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away' and the ever popular 'I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim is Getting Better.'

 

[sr71plt]

I find almost anyone's rendition of "Come All Ye Faithful" deadly.

 

[TE999]

Here's a list of the 100 all-time bummer Christmas music for those who want "anti-holiday" tunes to hum at this time of year. My favorite on the list is "Please Daddy, don't get Drunk this Christmas!"

My favorite is #58 Randy Stonehill 'Christmas at Denny's'.

I mean being alone on Christmas plus getting indigestion.

What could be sadder than that?

 

[slyc_willie]

'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer' is fun only once a year- once, a single listen. So is the dog-bark version of 'Jingle Bells,' maybe. And 'The Little Drummer Boy' is starting to annoy me.

I would have chimed in with these, but you already nailed them, Jomar.

Some songs should never have been written . . . .

 

[sxcascinn]

I say we make up new ones:

Santa Claus is Coming In Your Face
I Saw Mommy Banging Santa Claus

Hmm I Have a copy of I Saw Mummy Fucking Santa Clause....
Will that do???

 

[jomar]

There was a great artist back in the 70's. He was schizophrenic and penned the classic 'Christmas at K-mart.' He did a great Barry White impression on 'The 'Loneliest Room in the World.' And his 'Dozing and Drooling' was quite the comment on state mental hospitals. And don't forget 'Boogie 'till You Puke' or 'Dare to be Fat.' Ahh, the good old days. Root Boy Slim was his name. I still smile when I remember his music.

 

[Guest]

Not only are there specific songs that annoy me at this time, there are beautiful songs done in truly horrific ways - soiled, as it were, by artists who should never attempt the feat.

One example? Dolly Parton singing "O Holy Night".

The song itself isn't that bad. Her characteristic twang doesn't really fit the style but she does have a pleasant sounding voice.

No, it's the middle section that frightens me, the place where she decides to speak a verse with her serious twang.

(shudder)

It's just wrong.

 

[McKenna]

'Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer' is fun only once a year- once, a single listen. So is the dog-bark version of 'Jingle Bells,' maybe. And 'The Little Drummer Boy' is starting to annoy me.

Agreed, agreed, and agreed.

Frankly, I never understood The Little Drummer Boy. Who in their right mind would play DRUM for a baby?! Can you imagine Mary going ballistic? "What are you doing?! Put that thing away! I just got him to sleep, damn it!"

 

[slyc_willie]

Agreed, agreed, and agreed.

Frankly, I never understood The Little Drummer Boy. Who in their right mind would play DRUM for a baby?! Can you imagine Mary going ballistic? "What are you doing?! Put that thing away! I just got him to sleep, damn it!"

Right. The tuba would have been better.

 

[tickledkitty]

Bruce Springsteen's rendition of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." Nothing against the Boss or even the song. I've just heard it too many times lately.

Also that "All I Want for Christmas is You" song. GAH!!! Play something else already!

 

[Guest]

Right. The tuba would have been better.

I was thinking soprano sax, but hey - whatever works.

 

[sr71plt]

Right. The tuba would have been better.

pan pipes would have been the natural choice.

 

[slyc_willie]

I was thinking soprano sax, but hey - whatever works.

pan pipes would have been the natural choice.

Or maybe a blaring trombone . . . .

"Come, we honor him, BLEAT BLEAT BE-BE-BLEAT!"

 

[3113]

Or maybe a blaring trombone . . . .

"Come, we honor him, BLEAT BLEAT BE-BE-BLEAT!"

Slyc, you and I were thinking along the same lines! We could cast Trom as the Little Tromboner Boy.

I can hear it now...

"Shall I **** you now, Bum-bona-bone-bone....
With my Trombone...."

 

[TE999]

As this is Lit, and we're re-writing the songs, maybe a trombone? We could cast Trom as the Little Tromboner Boy.

I can hear it now...

"Shall I **** you now, Bum-bona-bone-bone....
With my Trombone...."

A flute or piccolo would be a better choice.

That trombone's gotta hurt.

 

[3113]

That trombone's gotta hurt.

It's a Lit song. No pain, no gain, that's the Literotica motto, isn't it?