Hmmmm...why the drop
- Thread starter dvlinblue
- Start date
Ray Dario
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2000
- Posts
- 529
Two answers;
First, what you saw with your story is exceptionally common. They get good votes until they hit the top lists (at 10 votes) and then they plunge. This is just a fact of life here at Lit. Sorry, but we have all hashed it out before and we will all hash it out again and it will probably never change. Best advice I can give is to remember that those people who voted your story up at the beginning out number the low voters and if your story recieves a score of 4.5 or better with 10 votes then it probably does not deserve the 3 to 5 1 votes that it is sure to get as soon as it hits the "Top Lists".
Now to the second answer: I hope you wanted honest feedback and please remember that this is just my opinion and worth just less than what you paid for it.
Second Person perspective! This is hard to make work, even for the best writers. In your story it really wasn't effective.
"Writerous Interruptus": A disease that afflicts too many writers. For some reason writers start believing that the reader gives a shit about them and they invade the story. You did this with your little italics quip about letting Brians brain recover. DON'T DO THAT! You may have thought it was funny, but it jerks the reader from the story and it's a sure way to turn off lots of readers, myself included.
Those were the two most glaring things I felt as I read the story. Others will probably give you more points.
Still your story shows promise and I hope you keep writing and submitting to Lit. Nothing I know of will stop the first thing from happening, it's just too universal, but you can fix the second things with your next story and maybe in the long run (80 to 200 votes) your score will creep back up toward the ellusive 4.5 mark
Ray
First, what you saw with your story is exceptionally common. They get good votes until they hit the top lists (at 10 votes) and then they plunge. This is just a fact of life here at Lit. Sorry, but we have all hashed it out before and we will all hash it out again and it will probably never change. Best advice I can give is to remember that those people who voted your story up at the beginning out number the low voters and if your story recieves a score of 4.5 or better with 10 votes then it probably does not deserve the 3 to 5 1 votes that it is sure to get as soon as it hits the "Top Lists".
Now to the second answer: I hope you wanted honest feedback and please remember that this is just my opinion and worth just less than what you paid for it.
Second Person perspective! This is hard to make work, even for the best writers. In your story it really wasn't effective.
"Writerous Interruptus": A disease that afflicts too many writers. For some reason writers start believing that the reader gives a shit about them and they invade the story. You did this with your little italics quip about letting Brians brain recover. DON'T DO THAT! You may have thought it was funny, but it jerks the reader from the story and it's a sure way to turn off lots of readers, myself included.
Those were the two most glaring things I felt as I read the story. Others will probably give you more points.
Still your story shows promise and I hope you keep writing and submitting to Lit. Nothing I know of will stop the first thing from happening, it's just too universal, but you can fix the second things with your next story and maybe in the long run (80 to 200 votes) your score will creep back up toward the ellusive 4.5 mark
Ray
reply
Cheers Ray,
I understand the voting issue after I read more links on this forum. As for the story....I'm going to take the pen to it and see if I can't smooth it out a little. One thing I do like to do is write for a person. So if i've put myself in it (as I did in this one) it was only to show the lady i was writing for that i would enjoy seeing them like that.
Actually the story was written for a particular person so it worked very well on a one on one basis. But I unerstand how it falls short of pleasign the vast majority.
I've got a few more up my sleeve. We'll be posting them soon.
Bri
Cheers Ray,
I understand the voting issue after I read more links on this forum. As for the story....I'm going to take the pen to it and see if I can't smooth it out a little. One thing I do like to do is write for a person. So if i've put myself in it (as I did in this one) it was only to show the lady i was writing for that i would enjoy seeing them like that.
Actually the story was written for a particular person so it worked very well on a one on one basis. But I unerstand how it falls short of pleasign the vast majority.
I've got a few more up my sleeve. We'll be posting them soon.
Bri
G
Guest
Guest
I don't agree with the drop in "Taken"
Why the drop in "Taken" by dvlinblue? It is a great story. A lot of hot lovemaking. A real turn-on!
Why the drop in "Taken" by dvlinblue? It is a great story. A lot of hot lovemaking. A real turn-on!
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