High School, Lockerroom, Boys Poetry Thread

[Vincent E]

So I was cleaning up the house the other day, yes we single men occasionally do some house cleaning (I was looking for the car keys), and I ran across a mindless poem from high school that I am about to toss out. However, I thought I would post the piece for posterity.

The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit,
using a knife he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of foxfur he lined it out.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
he through in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
toched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.

I hope this sheds some light on why so many men have no appreciation for poetry.

Coming soon if you're good: a reprint of the Good Wife's Guide.

 

[doormouse]

Yeah, cute and punchy ya brat LOL

he through in a fish and gave it a smell.
( I think you meant threw)

 

[Liar]

*sniff*
that was beautiful

 

[Honey123]

So I was cleaning up the house the other day, yes we single men occasionally do some house cleaning (I was looking for the car keys), and I ran across a mindless poem from high school that I am about to toss out. However, I thought I would post the piece for posterity.

The Creation of a Pussy

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher, smart with wit,
using a knife he gave it a slit.
Second was a carpenter, strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel he gave it a hole.
Third was a tailor, tall and thin,
by using red velvet he lined it within.
Fourth was a hunter, short and stout,
with a piece of foxfur he lined it out.
Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell,
he through in a fish and gave it a smell.
Sixth was a preacher whose name was McGee,
toched it and blessed it and said it could pee.
Last came a sailor, dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it and called it a cunt.

I hope this sheds some light on why so many men have no appreciation for poetry.

Coming soon if you're good: a reprint of the Good Wife's Guide.

Oddly I find this poem amusing

 

[cheerful_deviant]

Re: Re: High School, Lockerroom, Boys Poetry Thread

Oddly I find this poem amusing

You would.

 

[Honey123]

Re: Re: Re: High School, Lockerroom, Boys Poetry Thread

You would.

I know...it's got the word "pee" in it!

 

[Vincent E]

Yeah, cute and punchy ya brat LOL

he through in a fish and gave it a smell.
( I think you meant threw)

Did I forget to mention that it was a high school poem? I mean, come on, were talking about high school spelling here folks. I actually copied it right from the original paper it was photocopied on after about 1000 generations. You know how warped the typing can be after a few hundred copies of copies of copies etc, etc...

Then I opened another drawer, rifled through some papers and found this little ditty.

There was a young man from Nantucket
whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear were a cunt I would fuck it."

Well, I thought it was hilarious when I was 15, but that was along time ago.

I still can't find those fucking car keys. Fortunately they are not the masters.

 

[shereads]

Another font of romantic folk poetry: ladies' restrooms in Miami Beach dining establishments on the day after a two-for-one special on frozen margaritas.

Like lockers, the restroom stalls at these gathering spots are typically metal, painted in whatever shade of institutional green was on sale in 1992; unlike boys' locker room poetry (I'm guessing here) the women's freeform verse is often written in lipstick. One hopes these lipsticks are reserved for bathroom stall writing, and not used on actual lips.

Recently noticed:

[color=dark red]Carla Lario 4 Live[/color]


Carla you dump whore

 

[cantdog]

Ooh! You mean, there are dump whores? People always said life was different in the big city.

 

[shereads]

Ooh! You mean, there are dump whores? People always said life was different in the big city.

The city dump is said to be a less competitive job market than the convention hotels. Specialization, my friend.

I think "landfill sexual practitioner" sounds more professional and less contagious, don't you?

 

[Vincent E]

Like lockers, the restroom stalls at these gathering spots are typically metal, painted in whatever shade of institutional green was on sale in 1992; unlike boys' locker room poetry (I'm guessing here) the women's freeform verse is often written in lipstick. One hopes these lipsticks are reserved for bathroom stall writing, and not used on actual lips.

Funny. In the men's room it is always in pen; black or blue.

One other locker room witicism I remember is a simple line that read:

Piles for the pills does not necessarily constitute hemorrhoids for the nobility.

I'm still trying to figure out that little ditty.

Or how about this golden oldie:

As you sit on this throne,
stroking your bone,
just peek through this crack.
You'll see me peeking back.

I swear, there is more latent homosexuality in the men's room than just about anywhere else in America.

And it was all in pen.