Hi guys...

[cymbidia]

Well, well, well.

One goes out for an evening spent hapily ensconsed in the hands of a Dom... and look what happens!

Okay, we've been whining and bitching about wanting this. It's up to us all to make it work now that we have it.

It can work in the same way the thread worked. Some of us are better attuned to some things than are others of us, right? We'll simply keep that kind of focus up here, in our own forum.

Nessus? Would you please begin a thread, ongoing, perhaps, devoted entirely and exclusively to BDSM art?

Risia and/or SpectreT, would you please begin another ongoing thread or two devoted to the issues and questions that Switches face?

We need someone to invite Dominants in to ask questions and offer insights and open topics. I'm certainly not qualified there. WriterDom? Nessus? Hecate? Anyone?

I'm thinking we need something in here that invites questions of those trying to move from an online investigation of BDSM sexuality to the real life phase of that seeking. Who could offer such an invitation? Who among us has recently undertaken such a journey?

We need something devoted to toys, how and where to get them, how to make them, what to look for in thier construction. Who is it in the long thread that's such a wiz about that - besides WD, of course.

A thread devoted to the questions newbies have in general would be good, too.

Wow!
I'm so amazed at this.

I'm going to begin copying stuff from the long-ass original thread to individual new threads and i welcome help with that, my friends. Roll up your sleeves and dig in. There's work for us all in this sparkly new forum that Laurel's given us!

Anyone who wants to help is welcome.
Please go for it.

b. <--- ~still going: wow~

 

[MissTaken]

Let me know what I can do to help.

Other ideas for threads that will help us categorize the mega thread....

How do I know if I am Dom/me or sub?

Safety Issues in the BDSM lifestyle

Terminology


However, while I brainstorm this, I wonder if we should leave the mega thread as is, reference it as necessary. If this forum appears as an outline of information and previous posts, new posters may not feel compelled to post thereby, losing that personalized "give and take" quality that has made the thread effective.

However, I have had some thoughts and questions recently that might make helpful thread starters.

Off to post....

I am so excited and can't wait to see how this forum plays out!

 

[Merelan]

To heck =with the threads, we want details of your evening out!!!!!

 

[SpectreT]

cymbidia.

I'm nervous.

I've started the switch thread you suggested, but I'm only able to get here on nights & weekends. What if someone has a pretty urgent issue that I can't respond to in time? Wait. I'll ask Risia to help out.... Yeah, that'll work.

This is going to be fun...

 

[SpectreT]

To heck =with the threads, we want details of your evening out!!!!!

Heh.

What she said.

 

[cellis]

I want to help, too... Whatever needs to be done...

 

[Harbinger]

Wow, it pays to have friends in high places

Nice work, cymbidia. I remember back when you started the old behemoth, and I was just a lurker. This has been a long time coming. I know the new forum wouldn't exist without the involvement of everyone, but none of it would have happened without you. Kudos.

I suppose the old BDSM thread will remain a useful resource for a while yet, until the relevant material is mined out and re-posted, like a vein of gold, before it slips on down the board. Have Laurel close it to new posts, put it on a wooden ship, set it on fire and give it a Viking funeral. Then we can tell new people, "Oh, you guys have it easy now. Back in the old days...."

 

[cymbidia]

Excellent idea, Harbinger!

I've closed the monster thread.
Let's all sniffle a little and then turn our attention back to our shiny new forum.

MissT and cellis have done *exactly* the right thing by taking a good question, one that we've all answered questions about time and again in the monster thread OR one we've all wondered about, and making an individual thread of it.

Excellent!

JUST what we need right now to get this thing up and flying.

What we *don't* want is to have it look like the BDSM version of the GB in here, right? A place that newbies (to the lifestyle, to Lit, to us) will be reluctant to enter because we seem to be some kinda little social club or something.

We gotta stay welcoming.

I'm putting a poll up about what to do with regard to the monster thread. Please, please give me your input.

 

[cymbidia]

WONDERFUL!

I closed the previous post and saw that Wizard has come online with a links thread... and Spectre with one pertaining to the subjects Switches might find of interest.


Oh man.
You guys totally rule.

 

[Harbinger]

What we *don't* want is to have it look like the BDSM version of the GB in here, right?

I agree. It's nice to have a friendly and welcoming place for regulars, but remembering to try to stay on topic most of the time achieves a good balance. New people are going to open this forum to learn and have questions answered. I think it will wind up being very similar to the old thread in spirit, just a lot more manageable. That alone will make it a lot more interesting. Imagine what the GB would have been like if it were limited to one thread! Pandemonium!

 

[Isabella Thorne]

So you thought SM was just about pain? OUCH!

Cym .... wonderful idea darling! Way to go! i luv it cherie!

hey btw ... are you familiar with the book "On the Safe Edge - A Manual for SM Play" by Trevor Jacques ?

i found it a couple of months ago in a "head shop" of all places ... lol ... anyways i bought it for b/f for xmas ...

it is excellent ... and there are even SM questionnaires, the "$35 toy bag", and a glossary, and so it goes ...

we both give <both the book and this forum> a two thumbs up ...
_____________________
"Thank goodness we're all different", said Alice.

 

[Dhalgren]

I know in a new place, we all hope that it remains filled with open minded individuals and very flexible humans.

That no cliques arise causing people to feel daunted by posting here.


But really, I find that on the whole..people who stand to the left of the general moral majority tend to be more accepting and gracious, welcoming people..to others.

Even when their quirks don't match for a second.

Maybe it stems from knowing what it’s like to have people comment on your way of thinking as if you are a deviate and what’s wrong with this here Planet of ours.

(This is why I spent all my time in West Hollywood growing up and out)

And I think it will remain a place with an wide open arms policy..because you all are here.

 

[BlkPnthr]

Well said. I agree with that completely. Get out of my mind already

 

[JazzManJim]

Hell...I was on last night around 1 AM or so and I know this place wasn't here!

Well done to the vaunted Laurel and Manu for working so quickly! I think this fine place is long overdue.

And I'm also willing to help in any way I can. I'm more than willing to answer Dom-like questions as much as I'm able. I'm by no means an expert, but I am a Dom, which I suppose counts for something, right?

 

[cymbidia]

I feel like i've been infused with some kinda "happy happy joy joy" drug this morning or something.



Isabella, there's a thread that's been started by, i think, MissT, which invites recommendations of good reading material. Would you mind posting yours there for everyone to have as a resource?

 

[Rhys]

I feel like i've been infused with some kinda "happy happy joy joy" drug this morning or something.



Congratulations Cym! I think this forum is a wonderful idea...

 

[petrel]

how do we transfer a post form the monster thread - or any other place into an existing or new thread on this board?

 

[Isabella Thorne]

Yes Miss Cym ...

Isabella, there's a thread that's been started by, i think, MissT, which invites recommendations of good reading material. Would you mind posting yours there for everyone to have as a resource?

hee hee cym ...

i'm gonna tell you something that was told to me once ... and which applies to you too ...

"you're pretty high maintenance for a sub, darling" .... lmao ...

my goodness you are bossy ... almost on the verge of strict, eh cherie? what if i say no ... will you spank my naughty bum? hee hee ...

ok ... just for you then ... i will go look for your damn thread ... lol ... see that's the thing now, cym, you are starting to cross the line into Dom territory ... lmao .... no seriously darling ...

you are becoming a switch ....

 

[Guest]

Well, well, well.

One goes out for an evening spent hapily ensconsed in the hands of a Dom... and look what happens!

Okay, we've been whining and bitching about wanting this. It's up to us all to make it work now that we have it.

It can work in the same way the thread worked. Some of us are better attuned to some things than are others of us, right? We'll simply keep that kind of focus up here, in our own forum.

Nessus? Would you please begin a thread, ongoing, perhaps, devoted entirely and exclusively to BDSM art?

Risia and/or SpectreT, would you please begin another ongoing thread or two devoted to the issues and questions that Switches face?

We need someone to invite Dominants in to ask questions and offer insights and open topics. I'm certainly not qualified there. WriterDom? Nessus? Hecate? Anyone?

I'm thinking we need something in here that invites questions of those trying to move from an online investigation of BDSM sexuality to the real life phase of that seeking. Who could offer such an invitation? Who among us has recently undertaken such a journey?

We need something devoted to toys, how and where to get them, how to make them, what to look for in thier construction. Who is it in the long thread that's such a wiz about that - besides WD, of course.

A thread devoted to the questions newbies have in general would be good, too.

Wow!
I'm so amazed at this.

I'm going to begin copying stuff from the long-ass original thread to individual new threads and i welcome help with that, my friends. Roll up your sleeves and dig in. There's work for us all in this sparkly new forum that Laurel's given us!

Anyone who wants to help is welcome.
Please go for it.

b. <--- ~still going: wow~

 

[Dhalgren]

I know Isabella Thorne is totally joking...but it does bring up a thought..

I always wonder why people assume a sub is submissive in absolutely all things..as well as being demure at all times to all people.

A sub can be a boss, a leader, a teacher…

They can give orders to their children…they can tell their friends to fuck off.

They can get mad at their lover for leaving Their socks on the floor.

They can disagree with a Dom’s opinion..

They should never be told that they have to sit at the knees of just anyone whom calls themselves a Dom.
(Goreans exempt from above statement)


Hell, they can even moderate a list…

 

[steppenwolf]

any empathy?

is this where one can try to get questions answered?
well if so i was wandering what is the reason that the so called 'veteran doms' or even 'veteran subs' make fun of, put down, ignore, and/or shun the 'wannabees'? it seems to me everyone had to be a 'wannabee' at one time or another or they would not of become what they have. like they didn't start out being 'notwannabees' . no one made them become doms,or subs if they didn't want to be, right? maybe there could be some empathy shown, especially from some of the so called intelectual elitist here on site.
is anyone willing to give hands on instruction in the art of domination or submission? could not a sub help with a 'wannabee' dom or vice versa?

it's kind of hard to get more experence as a dom if a sub is so experienced they feel they are above helping a newbee along with their growth.
chances are a sub with that much experience is topping from the bottom anyway unless they are with a grand master.
seems like there could be a great opportunity for a win/win situtation here.
but fuck, what do i know? i am just a another 'wannabee'.

 

[Dhalgren]

steppenwolf

But there are always people in various stages of the dynamic labeled BDSM..

Someone new to submitting themselves sexually..may not be truly ready for a very experienced Dom/me.

This goes both ways..and in many different directions.


btw..I've never seen anyone call anybody else a wannabe..in these here parts.

It's all just about exploring and learning..and welcoming others who are doing the same.
~smiles~

 

[cymbidia]

how do we transfer a post form the monster thread - or any other place into an existing or new thread on this board?

petrel, you just go into the Monster and do a copy 'n paste out here, where it all makes sense and isn't scary.

Anything you like.

Go mine for Monster Thread treasure, darlin'!

I know Isabella Thorne is totally joking...but it does bring up a thought..

I always wonder why people assume a sub is submissive in absolutely all things..as well as being demure at all times to all people.

I'm certainly not demure and submissive at all times in all corners of my life.

I'm a sexual submissive. I offer my submission only grudgingly, and then only to a single carefully chosen Dominant. It is only within the boundaries of what we create, that Dominant and i, that i have the freedom to submit as i ache to and need and must. It is only within the boundaries of what lies between us that i can let loose of my everyday passing-as-nilla self and be the woman i truly am but have to hide most of the time from most of the eyes that pass over me.

I am not submissive to anyone just cuz they're close enough to breathe the same air i'm breathing. I'm not submissive to someone, anyone, just because they claim to be Dominant. I'm not submissive to the world because... i can't be. I have to maintian my life and job and be a good parent and do all the stuff the real-world demands of us all.

My submission runs deep and true. It's a valuable part of who i am as a woman. I treat it accordingly.

Hence, a sub can indeed moderate a Forum.

 

[cymbidia]

Re: any empathy?

Originally posted by steppenwolf is this where one can try to get questions answered?

This is the place, steppenwolf. Welcome.

well if so i was wandering what is the reason that the so called 'veteran doms' or even 'veteran subs' make fun of, put down, ignore, and/or shun the 'wannabees'? it seems to me everyone had to be a 'wannabee' at one time or another or they would not of become what they have. like they didn't start out being 'notwannabees' .

~puzzled~
Has someone here treated you badly? We work at staying open to all shapes and colors and sizes and flavors of people who come wandring in here, Steppenwolf. We haven't ever, that i'm aware of "put down, ignore, and/or shun the wannabees". On the contrary, we deliberately try to help them in their seeking after knowledge down the sometimes confusing and twisty paths that comprise BDSM sexuality.

And yes. All of us were definitely new to this at some point. None of us was born knowing all about it.

I'm pretty sure that no one here has used the term "wannabe", either, with regard to someone new to this kind of sexuality, Steppenwolf. If such a derogatory term has been poked at you elsewhere, please know that you'll not find such attitudes here. Relax. Ask your questions. We'll do what we can to help.

We believe in being real people to each other, in being respectful of each other;s kinks and quirks, and in providing good quality information here.

no one made them become doms,or subs if they didn't want to be, right?

Consensual BDSM is as opposite as anything can be to anything non-consensual. Everything we do with our partners always revolves around the idea best summed upin the credo Safe, Sane and Consensual.

maybe there could be some empathy shown, especially from some of the so called intelectual elitist here on site.

Again, i'm puzzled. Have we hurt you here?

is anyone willing to give hands on instruction in the art of domination or submission? could not a sub help with a 'wannabee' dom or vice versa?

Lots of people like to spend time with inexperienced BDSM'ers. Lots do not. Inside the leather and fetish gear, we're all individuals with individual needs and desires. None of us has a rulebook that tells us how and when and where and with whom we can play. We all go forward into our sexual lives seeking what we need. Definitely, experienced players can help the less-experienced learn what they want and need from this kind of sexuality. I've done so for less-experienced Dom/mes. (Not for a long a time, though, and i'm not going to do it again, either cuz i've been there, done that and, these days, i want someone who can play to my levels.)

it's kind of hard to get more experence as a dom if a sub is so experienced they feel they are above helping a newbee along with their growth.

I think you've been wandering around bad places, steppenwolf. Online chat rooms, perhaps? Those places can be *very* hidebound with respect to how they percieve new people. Have you ever been to your local munch? Do you live near a big city, a place that might have some small and large scale parties you can attend and watch? You need to get away from wherever you've been: it's a drag on your life, obviously, and is coloring your impression of all the rest of us.

chances are a sub with that much experience is topping from the bottom anyway unless they are with a grand master.

Topping from the bottom? ~snickering~ Only if they let me...

seems like there could be a great opportunity for a win/win situtation here.
but fuck, what do i know? i am just a another 'wannabee'. [/B]

Attitude, big guy. It's all about attitude.

 

[steppenwolf]

moving on

folks
i am sorry if i gave literotica the sole impression that the site somehow hurt my feelings. it did not!!! it was something from outside in the world that i caused me to ponder those questions. i believe i know now where it came from. it probably was just some person who’s path i crossed in the past that obviously felt their needs were more important than others. who knows, maybe they were hurting inside and could not open up at that time in space. maybe they were just plain self-centered or full of themselves. one never really knows what is happening in another’s head.
that makes me think of something though, so i do have another question. the subs i see advertising for a dom/em always state they want to give their everything to their 'owner'. some even go so far as being totally humiliated, with feces smeared on and eaten, pissed on and pinched poked and slashed up, and even gang fucked. for their master. i do not have any problem with any of that since it is consensual. so, my question is why is it a shock to them when their dom/me moves on? moves on to some new sub or just moves on or goes away. doesn’t a sub set them up for extreme mental anguished or pain by putting all their happiness into some body else’s control and not their own? i am asking this because i myself cant imagine ever relying on someone else for all my happiness anymore. it always goes away. either they moved on or one even died. still they moved on. either way i was still by alone. i too would like to have a sub, but i sure do not want to cause pain if i were to die. i don not believe any sub no matter how masochistic wants to be left alone for their pain fix. does this make any sense or is it even pertinate here.
i play good with others but i never could color within the lines. moreover, most of my thinking is outside of the box.