Hi... could use some advice...

[TexasAngel28]

Hi... I'm a 35 year old divorced mother of two. I have been straight all my life. I'm probably the straightest person you'd ever meet but I have no problem having friends who are gay or lesbian. I love them as I love any straight friend.

But... I've just had my first crush on - and had my heart broken - by a female friend and I don't know how to react. I still love her but she made it clear she wants us to just continue being good friends. Thing is... last night we... didn't quite have sex but we did everything but... she said she didn't regret it but that it kind of made things more clear for her and she knows she doesn't want to wreck our friendship. I told her it was fine, it was okay... but I can't stop crying over it. I don't want to lose her friendship so I told her I wouldn't bring it up again.

But now I'm confused... was it just because she's the first real female friend I've had in years that really cared about me and I just... i don't know. Like i said... i have no experience in this and I'm not sure how to feel at this point or what to do... Any sincere advice or words of wisdom would be nice.

Thank you.

 

[Ropergirl]

Hi... I'm a 35 year old divorced mother of two. I have been straight all my life. I'm probably the straightest person you'd ever meet but I have no problem having friends who are gay or lesbian. I love them as I love any straight friend.

But... I've just had my first crush on - and had my heart broken - by a female friend and I don't know how to react. I still love her but she made it clear she wants us to just continue being good friends. Thing is... last night we... didn't quite have sex but we did everything but... she said she didn't regret it but that it kind of made things more clear for her and she knows she doesn't want to wreck our friendship. I told her it was fine, it was okay... but I can't stop crying over it. I don't want to lose her friendship so I told her I wouldn't bring it up again.

But now I'm confused... was it just because she's the first real female friend I've had in years that really cared about me and I just... i don't know. Like i said... i have no experience in this and I'm not sure how to feel at this point or what to do... Any sincere advice or words of wisdom would be nice.

Thank you.

Hello TexasAngel...My heart goes out to you as that must have been pretty devastating for you. I have been bisexual for years and fortunately was able to ease into the whole idea of girl/girl romance. I have had my heart broken a time or two and I have found that the difference is that when she was a friend to begin with, most times its easier to remain friends afterward. Of course there are few absolutes in life but overall I believe it is easier to move past it with another woman than with a guy. Remember, the only person whose feelings and emotions you can control is you, so how she moves forward is beyond your control although it sounds like she is a true friend who values you in that sense. Have you spoken with her since? She may be feeling as awkward as you right now and a phine call might just help.

Hang in there and keep your chin up!

 

[TexasAngel28]

Hello TexasAngel...My heart goes out to you as that must have been pretty devastating for you. I have been bisexual for years and fortunately was able to ease into the whole idea of girl/girl romance. I have had my heart broken a time or two and I have found that the difference is that when she was a friend to begin with, most times its easier to remain friends afterward. Of course there are few absolutes in life but overall I believe it is easier to move past it with another woman than with a guy. Remember, the only person whose feelings and emotions you can control is you, so how she moves forward is beyond your control although it sounds like she is a true friend who values you in that sense. Have you spoken with her since? She may be feeling as awkward as you right now and a phine call might just help.

Hang in there and keep your chin up!

Thank you. I talked to her this morning and off and on during the day. I think it will be okay as far as our friendship and all goes. She still loves me as a best friend and i can live with that. Like I said... i'm as straight as anything so my feelings for her caught me by surprise and completely off guard and I just couldn't believe how much it hurt inside of me when she said she just wanted to be friends. It's a new thing to me and of course... my dad is a minister so it's not like I can talk to him about it, you know? Anyway... thank you so much for replying. It helps a lot.

 

[4soysauce2]

Give her a bit of time and let her sort out her feelings also. It sounds like maybe there is something between you 2 besides jus being friends. I would just continue to work as friends and let her see what you really are. She must have been attracted to you to go a step further.
Good luck
Soysauce

 

[hottalyssa]

Give her a bit of time and let her sort out her feelings also. It sounds like maybe there is something between you 2 besides jus being friends. I would just continue to work as friends and let her see what you really are. She must have been attracted to you to go a step further.
Good luck
Soysauce

Hi Angel, i agree with Soysauce, give her some time, there might be more there than she is willing to admit.but definitely stay and talk to her.my first experience was with my college roommate, we did not speak about it afterwards which was a big,big mistake.keep the lines of communication open.it sounds as if she is a good friend,perhaps even more.she may be as confused as you are.let me know if i can help.good luck.

 

[TexasAngel28]

Thanks for the kind words and advice. We've been talking more about it all and she told me yesterday that she just... that she feels like she went down a wrong path and she needs to get herself back on a "right" path and I'm not sure what that means but she thinks I was confusing love with friendship. I don't think so... I've never felt like that about another female. I still love her... and I think if i didn't love her it wouldn't hurt so much I mean... I don't know. We're still doing vacation together in January at some point so I guess that's still a good thing. I suppose it's my own flaw... I tend to fall hard for the people I love. Anyway... just wanted to say thanks to the three of you for your kind words and advice.

 

[bangulongnhard]

I hope all differences get patched

Miss TexasAngel,

I hope you and your friend get past the incident. I am sure like all good friends, really forgive and forget.

Joey in Austin

Thanks for the kind words and advice. We've been talking more about it all and she told me yesterday that she just... that she feels like she went down a wrong path and she needs to get herself back on a "right" path and I'm not sure what that means but she thinks I was confusing love with friendship. I don't think so... I've never felt like that about another female. I still love her... and I think if i didn't love her it wouldn't hurt so much I mean... I don't know. We're still doing vacation together in January at some point so I guess that's still a good thing. I suppose it's my own flaw... I tend to fall hard for the people I love. Anyway... just wanted to say thanks to the three of you for your kind words and advice.