Hi... and goodbye.

[ride52]

It took me a long time to gain the courage to write my story, and I'm NOT a naturally gifted writer by any means, but I had one - just one, incident in my life that may warrant a small inclusion on this site.
Thank you so much to the few constructive critiques I've received. I'm blessed.
For all you trolls out there who have not only destroyed my desire to write again, not to mention disrespecting the memory of my wife of nearly 50 years (sadly, a victim of Covid), well... I only hope they drop off and roll down a drain.

 

[Winter_Fare]

Your story is really sweet and intimate, don't let the bastards get you down. It really isn't personal, they really are this shitty to every single person who dares write about swinging every one star review is like a gold star

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Your story is really sweet and intimate, don't let the bastards get you down. It really isn't personal, they really are this shitty to every single person who dares write...

Everybody who writes anything, actually. But, yes, absolutely.

ride52 - Trolls are a sad fact of life. I view them like toddlers. Without the ability to build stacks of blocks, they get their thrills knocking down what others have had the talent to construct.

Stick around, sir.

 

[SyleusSnow]

Absolutely. Don't give up.

Loving Wives is a snake pit of misogyny. Your story would have received a much better reception if it was posted in literally any other category.

Even in the cesspool that is Loving Wives I see you got a few helpful and appreciative comments.

If you want to write, write! Writers need thick skins at all times, and there's an audience here for just about everyone. You'll find readers are generally more appreciative and helpful than hostile. Everywhere except Loving Wives.

 

[Lori_the_Hoosier]

Everyone here is right; don't let retards tell you what to do, or make decisions for you. My husband likes to use a cod-Latin phrase: 'nil carborundum illegitimi'; don't let the bastards grind you down. Stick with it, please, ignore them, and have your own fun.

 

[Lifestyle66]

It took me a long time to gain the courage to write my story, and I'm NOT a naturally gifted writer by any means, but I had one - just one, incident in my life that may warrant a small inclusion on this site.
Thank you so much to the few constructive critiques I've received. I'm blessed.
For all you trolls out there who have not only destroyed my desire to write again, not to mention disrespecting the memory of my wife of nearly 50 years (sadly, a victim of Covid), well... I only hope they drop off and roll down a drain.

I just now read your story, and I gave it a 4 with a comment.

As the others here indicated, many (most?) of the Loving Wives readers are a nasty bunch. We all wonder why such people spend their time on the site reading stories they will obviously hate. But your story rating of 3.54 is about average for the TOP 25 stories in the LW category. So they are equal opportunity haters, and yours is one of the better stories.

It takes a while and posting several stories to find your own personal reasons to continue writing and sharing your thoughts. You might try re-writing the story with more detail and character development. And seek editor and beta-reader feedback to make it a better story, possibly posting to either Group Sex or Erotic Couplings to see if you can get better responses.

But it's a personal choice.

 

[rosebudliquor]

Don't let the haters drive you away.

Also, I am sorry for your loss.
I came to the forum today because I really wanted to complain about trolls hating on my stories in Loving Wives, even though I have been at it long enough to know that they will be the first to read, and they will post anonymous comments that don't really make any sense (today's was "shit story about shit people").
I think the ratings in Loving Wives run a full point lower than the same story would get elsewhere. I like the comment that said "wear 1-star reviews like a badge of honor."
A big difference for me is that all my work is total fiction, so when they respond as if the characters are real people who really did what I wrote about, I can rationalize that it means the writing was believable.
So I'll close by saying you have my sympathy that anyone insulted your wife, you, or your writing.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I am sorry for your wife.

Only advice I can give: pick your favourite book in the whole world. Look it up on Amazon. Read the 1-star reviews. Feel better in the knowledge that it happens to the best.

 

[windar]

I know we've had this discussion, but the site tolerates anonymous trolls by choice. And it's a terrible choice that hurts people like the OP needlessly. Sure the OP can delete the comments, but not before they've seen them and been hurt.

Yes, I know the excuses, there's legacy software and it's a mom and pop operation even if it's the biggest and best site in the known universe according to some.

Look, either the owners are making money from the cam girls, in which case spend a bit of it to fix things or they aren't, in which case the site will die. There is no excuse to tolerate this kind of hurtful behavior and I think all of you know it, though some won't admit it.

If getting rid of anonymous comments loses a few readers, good because most of those it loses will be the trolls. If you compare views to the number of votes and comments it's clear that maybe 1 or 2 % of those who view a story vote or comment. The vast majority of readers don't bother and they will be unaffected.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Look, either the owners are making money from the cam girls, in which case spend a bit of it to fix things or they aren't, in which case the site will die. There is no excuse to tolerate this kind of hurtful behavior and I think all of you know it, though some won't admit it.

If getting rid of anonymous comments loses a few readers, good because most of those it loses will be the trolls.

I sympathise with the frustration, but this just ain't true. IME the vast majority of anon commenters are nice people who just want their privacy.

LW comments are a cesspit but it would be possible to fix that via moderation without punishing everybody else.

 

[windar]

I sympathise with the frustration, but this just ain't true. IME the vast majority of anon commenters are nice people who just want their privacy.

LW comments are a cesspit but it would be possible to fix that via moderation without punishing everybody else.

What privacy do you give up by commenting under a screen name linked to an anonymous email? Is your real name Bramblethorn? Can someone find you and show up to your house based on that screen name? Go to any porn site, XHamster, PornHub, you name it. You can view all the videos you like anonymously, but you have to register to comment. And plenty of people do.

But yes, moderation would be fine. Comments can take hours to appear because they are supposedly being moderated. Why not actually moderate them? If that means hiring someone to do that, that's part of doing business in this world. Even Facebook had to do that because the reality is you have to have some control over what goes on your site or you may find yourself in a heap of woe, especially if Section 230 gets amended as may well happen...

I don't want to lose the anonymous comments, because they are among the best.

I believe you said that you're a scientist. What is the evidence that those who make good comments anonymously would stop commenting if they were asked to do so under a screen name? Let's see the data...

 

[lovecraft68]

I can sympathize. I wrote a story here for catharsis about the time a few years ago I almost lost my wife. In general the comments were positive, but I had a few nasty ones, and a couple I know came from people here because of how personal they were and little slip ups in their wordage.

Sucks, but don't let them drive you off. Instead pay them back by continuing to write. Show them how meaningless they, and their words, are.

 

[ElectricBlue]

You can turn off anonymous comments if you want; just select the option 'Turn off Anonymous Comments'. I don't want to lose the anonymous comments, because they are among the best. The category and the type of story strongly affects the kind of anonymous comments you receive. Your activity on the boards may have an effect as well.

This.

The site gives authors a number of options to control commentary - the ability to turn comments off, the ability to delete them. New authors just need to use the tools that are available to them (just as the rest of us learned to do). But never ban anons from commenting, never.

Also, choose categories wisely. It's not hard to figure out where the snake pit is - that took me a day or two, and I've kept away ever since. These things aren't hard to do.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I sympathize with the OP, particularly because of the personal nature of the story he wrote.

It's too bad that there isn't any way for a new writer to know what kind of response they might get if they post in Loving Wives. But if you've posted there, and got trashed, and then go back in again for more, then you're just poking the bear, in my opinion.

The bulk of comments on my stories are anonymous, and 90% of them are positive.I would seriously reconsider submitting here if anonymous comments were blocked.

 

[SimonDoom]

First of all, I'm terribly sorry about your wife. That's far more important than anything else. You have my condolences, and I assure you that the vast majority of the other people in this forum feel the same way and they support you. This is a weird place, and it gets bumpy at times, but there are many good, caring people here.

If I may make a suggestion, put your "goodbye" on the shelf for now and just give it some time. Crap comments are inevitable here, but they don't represent everyone.

Sympathies and best wishes to you.

 

[yukonnights]

It took me a long time to gain the courage to write my story, and I'm NOT a naturally gifted writer by any means, but I had one - just one, incident in my life that may warrant a small inclusion on this site.
Thank you so much to the few constructive critiques I've received. I'm blessed.
For all you trolls out there who have not only destroyed my desire to write again, not to mention disrespecting the memory of my wife of nearly 50 years (sadly, a victim of Covid), well... I only hope they drop off and roll down a drain.

I just want to add my voice to those asking you to reconsider. I made the exact same mistake you did on my first story. In my story, it sure seemed like it would take a loving wife to partake in our mmf threesome. So, I posted it in Loving Wives. That story languished there since 2007. I just recently got around to moving it to a more appropriate category.

Point is; The reception you got in Loving Wives for your story is par for the course.

I'd urge you to do a couple of things; One, stick around and write your stories. Two, submit an edit and ask your story be moved to — say, Erotic Couplings. And here's a #3; Don't equate the Loving Wives crowd as being normal, but taken over by trolls who think women should still be chattel owned by their big strong men.

LitE is a big place and I'm sure you can find an audience for your stories ~

 

[Dingo_Triplesix]

I would like to take a slightly different point of view. On the one hand, I support the opinion of the previous speakers that one should not let himself be restricted by trolls, for fundamental reasons. Therefore, I would also appreciate it if you stick to LIT and don't drop out.

On the other hand, LIT is not a therapeutic forum. Writing about your own experiences - directly or indirectly - can be an important contribution to processing trauma, etc., I used to do that too. In this case, criticism or stupid comments hit you much harder, of course.

So I think there is a limit for LIT, how much own heart blood and own experience it is advisable to reflect in the stories. At the end of the day, people read it for entertainment and arousal, not for supporting the authors in their personal processes. There are more appropriate environments for that.

 

[Lori_the_Hoosier]

Wow...

After reading this I feel sick to my stomach. I never thought I would see derogatory slurs here. My hands are shaking trying to write this. I had a daughter that had 5 percent brain function before she died when she was 3. We cherished every minute we had with her because we were told she would never leave the hospital. That word...that word makes me physically sick. My daughter was so much more than a disgusting word. I hate what it has come to mean.

https://www.specialolympics.org/stories/impact/why-the-r-word-is-the-r-slur

You're right, it was a very poor choice of words, for which I apologize unreservedly.

 

[Bramblethorn]

What privacy do you give up by commenting under a screen name linked to an anonymous email? Is your real name Bramblethorn? Can someone find you and show up to your house based on that screen name?

Quite a lot, actually. Merely the fact of having a common name across all one's stories, comments, and forum posts here makes it a lot easier to identify somebody than might be possible from any one post.

It takes about thirty bits of information to uniquely identify a person. If I mention my home town in one post, my occupation in another, my gender in a third, my alma mater in a fourth, and so on... quite quickly that can add up to enough information for a persistent person to identify me. As part of my privacy protection here, that means I have to decide which of those things I'll discuss and which things I'll never ever discuss, which sometimes limits the conversation in a way that wouldn't happen if those posts weren't all tied to a single screen name.

You're also neglecting the risk in the reverse direction. For many people, the threat of somebody following the breadcrumbs from their Literotica name to their RL identity is less than the threat of somebody who knows their RL identity figuring out things about their Literotica presence.

Funny you should mention "anonymous" email addresses. When I started out here, I set up what was intended to be an anonymous email account. I read the provider's privacy documentation carefully, set all the appropriate settings... and then they decided to treat some of my private information as public, with no warning or notification whatsoever, and exposed my Literotica-only email address to anybody who knew my everyday email.

I didn't quite get outed as a result of that, because I'd taken some further precautions, but it came a lot closer than I expected.

Is it possible for a technically adept person to set up a bulletproof anonymous email account? Sure. Does the average Literotica commenter know how to find a convenient, free, user-friendly, trustworthy private email service that's accessible from their country? Absolutely not.

(If it really was so easy, all the toxic anon posters would just move over to using those anonymous email accounts to register, and then go on posting and creating new accounts when the old ones got banned.)

Go to any porn site, XHamster, PornHub, you name it. You can view all the videos you like anonymously, but you have to register to comment. And plenty of people do.

And plenty of people don't. And they still get spam and abusive comments, and not much of value that I can see.

I believe you said that you're a scientist. What is the evidence that those who make good comments anonymously would stop commenting if they were asked to do so under a screen name? Let's see the data...

One might just as well ask: What is the evidence that those who currently make abusive comments anonymously wouldn't start making throwaway registrations and leaving them through those? Let's see the data.

 

[KeithD]

Quite a lot, actually. Merely the fact of having a common name across all one's stories, comments, and forum posts here makes it a lot easier to identify somebody than might be possible from any one post.

It takes about thirty bits of information to uniquely identify a person.

Some years ago (I think she's still posting some to the poetry board) a regular user managed to identify who I really am from my postings and the content (use of actual places/time/circumstances both here and in mainstream book writing) in my stories and outed me privately--not maliciously, just to let me know she'd identified me. Threw me for a loop, though.

And I think there's been a teacher or two ferreted out by their students by what they'd posted to the board on what was currently going on in their lives--and they were forced to try to erase themselves here.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Some years ago (I think she's still posting some to the poetry board) a regular user managed to identify who I really am from my postings and the content (use of actual places/time/circumstances both here and in mainstream book writing) in my stories and outed me privately--not maliciously, just to let me know she'd identified me. Threw me for a loop, though.

And I think there's been a teacher or two ferreted out by their students by what they'd posted to the board on what was currently going on in their lives--and they were forced to try to erase themselves here.

Yep. I have seen a few posters on AH sharing enough info that it'd probably be possible for somebody to ID them, with varying degrees of effort involved. (Unless they were being careful enough to change minor details here and there, of course.)

It doesn't help that social media companies assume that everybody wants to connect all the parts of their life together, and put a lot of effort into making that happen.

 

[KeithD]

What gave me a (nervous) chuckle at the time was that it was one of the periodic times when the attacks on me here went to my background ("Oh, you never did anything like that"--there was a run right here on that a couple of months ago, and you joined in), and this poster tracked me down because she ferreted out and connected publicly available elements of that background.

I made the mistake of using something close to the distinctive true first name of a deputy ambassador in a country where I was really doing essentially what I wrote about in a story (although the event, which hit the news at the time, is now in the public domain, so I wasn't giving up any secrets) and that is also connected with my mainstream writing background. She put it all together (although it has to mean that she was "in the know" on a few things about this herself). I'm more careful with that now.

I still get a chuckle out of being called on the veracity of issues that are, in fact, true, when some other elements in the stories that aren't questioned are complete fabrications.

 

[jsmiam]

I find myself cringing at some of the revelations people make here. I realize I’m *almost* paranoid about it, but think about it: the people to worry about probably (who am I kidding, it’s definitely) have their own forms of personality disorders, to put it mildly. So with respect and concern and without naming names, all y’all who had some prestigious but VERY unique and Googlable jobs, or whose father and daughter had and have prominent and unique public service jobs in the UK or who use the same logo here as your non-anonymous horror story endeavors, and a subtle one, any of you who share some of the same photos here that you might share elsewhere non-anonymously… Cut it out! And :caning:

Btw, the OP made one single post and hasn’t been back. We probably should realize we won’t likely see them again. Too bad. But replying for his benefit is probably a lost cause.

 

[Rustyoznail]

Btw, the OP made one single post and hasn’t been back. We probably should realize we won’t likely see them again. Too bad. But replying for his benefit is probably a lost cause.

Actually, the OP was active on the 23rd. Hopefully they've read this thread.

 

[Emirus]

I’ve just read the OP’s story and since he started this thread the last seven comments, including mine, have been positive. Hopefully he is logging on to his account, reading those comments, and will come back here to tell us he has already begun his next story.