Hey Todd, Do You Get Your Movie Reviews Here?

[Marxist]

www.capalert.com

This guy is a riot. He doesn't get that movies are make-believe. But he does make a lot of good Christian sense if you follow his logic.

 

[CarolineOh]

I love that site. I especially like the fact that he is so upset by profanity in movies that he goes through them and counts them all up.

 

[Marxist]

His wonderful review of the innocuous SCOOBY-DOO


To our private distribution I said I was going to open the Summary/Commentary section of our analysis of Scooby-Doo with a report by Martha W. Kleder of the Culture and Family Institute I received from Barry at Adelphia (Barry Kroeker). I checked the links and references in the report but in the movie I found none of the reported claims. I may have been fooled a second time by another Internet hoax. Though I could confirm none of the claims, I suspect you will agree this is the "new doo" indeed. Though I did not find any of the ignominies allegedly reported by the Culture and Family Institute, this movie is not innocent by any means.

The "original cast" Mystery, Inc. of the TV Scooby-Doo cartoon series were represented by Sarah Michelle Gellar as Daphne Blake, Linda Cardellini as Velma Dinkley, Matthew Lillard as Norville 'Shaggy' Rogers, Freddie Prinze Jr. as Fred Jones and Scott Innes as the voice of Scooby-Doo. In this episode, the crew of Mystery, Inc. are lured to Spooky Island by Emile Mondavarious (Rowan Atkinson) to find out why all the college kids at the island came normal but left like zombies. The Mystery, Inc. crew had to be lured to Spooky Island individually since they had split up two years earlier over a spat of who held what position on the totem pole ... a condition not seen in the original Scooby-Doo TV series.

The MPAA rated this kids show as PG. The CAP machine gave it a score of 60 which places it in the scoring range earned by PG-13 movies. If it were not for Daphne's main outfit, the scoring would have been much higher. When a young woman repeatedly exposes the skin of her chest below her breast line and much of the skin of her breasts by wearing a very wide and low cut dress throughout a show, it is considered excessive. Other sexual matters in Scooby-Doo included Fred saying "I can look at myself naked" after his and Daphne's spirits were swapped with each other. Daphne in Fred's body telling Fred in Daphne's body to "stop touching me" while Gellar was touching herself suggestively made clear the "statement" of that programming segment.

The gang had solved a mystery of a haunting of a factory by its janitor who loved the owner who could not reciprocate his love. In the news coverage of the caper closure, the gang became disillusioned with each other since everyone was trying to take most of the credit for solving the mystery -- except Shaggy ad Scooby who remained friends and life-long pals to the end.

Even Scrappy-Doo appears in this brightly colored, dimly engineered attempt at movie-fying the TV series. But Scrappy is not at all likable. For bouncing around the Mysterymobile like the adolescent on too much sugar and for urinating on Daphne's chest, Scrappy is kicked out of the Mysterymobile and left on the side of the road. Indeed, Scrappy is demonic and bitter with a hugely misshapen grotesque head of monstrous proportions and features and an attitude to match.

Speaking of monsters there are a few, looking more like gargoyles than monsters. One for each of the victims of demonic possession. The quintessential lord of nogoodnicking was out to soak up the inner ectoplasmic spirit - the soul - of every one who came to the island so he and his demons could have power to rule the world. Whom (or what) else do you know of has demons as servants and is after all souls on the earth? The master madman was collecting the souls in a soup and was going to inject them all into himself. But Shaggy and company got in his way.

But as I said inn the first paragraph, Scooby-Doo is anything but innocent. A few of the issues that would probably make mom/dad uncomfortable include excessive cleavage and dressing to maximize the female form and/or skin exposure throughout the movie. Of particular boldness in adding sexual immorality to this feature was Prinze saying "I can look at myself naked" while Gellar was touching herself and her "spirit's host" saying "Stop touching me." Other issues of sexual programming include Gellar being touched inappropriately as she portrayed trying to escape the clutches of a would-be captor. Revealing swim wear, a crotch hit and camera angles to force the viewer on private parts topped off the sexual presences in this movie [1Cor. 6:18, Col. 3:5].

There is only one use of the three/four letter word vocabulary hidden behind a contemporary term. But of impudence on the part of the movie makers was a flatulence and burping contest between Shaggy and Scooby, one of them being ignited from within a suit of armor. Of clear toilet humor focus in the haunting of the factory segment, Daphne's head ends up under Scooby's tail. These matters and massive tattoos, Scrappy urinating on Daphne's chest and facial piercings comprised most of the point loss in Impudence/Hate [Is. 2:17].

There were a few episodes of a somewhat violent nature, most of them comic and action related. Demos attacking the gang and other action violence are probably the most invasive of the issues of violence. The portrayal of the practices of voodoo, [2Chr. 33:6] the "skull" theme of the island amusement park, demon possession and two uses of God's name in vain but both without the four letter expletive comprise the most of the point loss in Offense to God.

 

[naudiz]

Ah, the Cap Alert guy. I love him.

His review of X-men was great. You could tell he really wanted to like that movie. He really, really, really wanted to ramble on about how cool it was, but he couldn't. I felt sorry for him.

I heard he'd retired. Good to know my sweet baboo is still saving the world from those pesky moving pictures.

 

[Todd-'o'-Vision]

Nope sorry haven't heard of that site before.

and after reading the one you posted how could you think my lame ass excuse for a review could have come from there.

I mean theirs is semi entertaining my is short winded runny shit compared to thiers just like me.

I mean after all I am a worthless piece of christian shit, we are the reason the world suck so bad, right?