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Hey Madame Pandora!

Re: Re: Sweets

CelestialBody said:
R Nitelight said:
Debutants do.

;)
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Well, the woman whose balls I'd love to rip off, sautee and serve them to for breakfast is a snob in reverse. She wouldn't have one of those kinds of balls.
Click to expand...

what about her ovaries?
 
yawn...

The Bored?

So why're you trying to start something w/ MP? (I'm sure I'll regret asking.)
 
*sigh*

I try and take ONE night off to write and look what happens ;-)

circe, CB comes in peace. She brings with her oils, incense, and gifts from a foreign land called "The Midwest." It is a strange, ice-encrusted ring of hell.

CB, the sweet enchantress of Ulysses' folly is a little overprotective of me of late due to a little mud wrasslin' last night.

Play nice, girls.

And, CB, to answer your question, I dunno...

Because that would make them hermaphrodites?

MP

Now, I am going back to my writing. Don't make me come back and turn off the lights! ;)
 
CelestialBody said:
MP was called in cause this is a Bitch fight, not a catfight. Get it straight! Mink, seriously diggin the branding irons:D
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Yes... Bitch Fighting is a totally different animal.

Bitch Fighting 101

First, you have to be certain that both (or all) participants are Bitches of some type and not, in actuality br...er...cats.

(For more on bitch types, see here http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=24692&pagenumber=2)

Cats are different. They tend to be insipid, monotonous and ever-present with their banal clatter - drawing attention to themselves with a constant sting of "look at me" tactics because they know they cannot sway others with a twist of wit or intelligence (as these are qualities they nearly always lack).

You can't have a Bitch Fight with a cat because cats aren't up to the same level, and so, inevitably, the Bitch feels like a bully for trying to have battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Now - understanding the background here, we can explain some Bitch Fighting basics. From what you've told me, I think the other person may, indeed, be a bitch.[/I]

1. A Bitch never goes for the eyes (or the ears either). You want your opponent to be able to survey the damage you'll be inflicting. What good is it to rend them limb from limb or have them quiver in terror if they are spared the visual impact?

2. REAL Bitch Fighting involves no physical contact whatsoever. Now, this is a disappointment for the flocks of spectators who inevitably gather, but Bitch purists are not concerned with onlookers. It is the grind of words, the slap of sarcasm, and the stark-toothed glint of accuracy that defines a real Bitch Fight. This is why you can't do battle with the witless. There's no victory in spiking the ball over the net at an opponent who is drawing in the sand.

3. SET UP can be an important factor. A real Bitch bides her time, like a tiger in the grass, laying low and waiting for the prey to enter into the radius of engagement. Give them time to hang themselves - more ammo.

4. Once the gloves are off, THE GLOVES ARE OFF. Don't whine about "too far" or “off limits.” You are either going to do battle or not. Piss or get off the pot.

5. Forget all that shit about "no one ever wins a fight." Fuck that. REAL Bitches win and they fight until they do. The hard part is setting a realistic definition of victory. Remember, most Bitch Fights are not physical, and as such, there is no clear-cut endpoint like...oh...a bleeding corpse. You have to realize your goal and what you will be satisfied to walk away with.

6. Don't expect approval or applause. Many lemmings chant and cheer for the fight to begin, but reserve the right to be condescending about "the cruelty" of Bitch Fighting later. Fuck 'em. Let them eat their popcorn and spew peace rhetoric.

Well, these are the basics. A few simple guidelines to keep in mind. The real complexities of Intra-Bitch meets (like an AHB competing with a NCB, for example) cannot be detailed here.

As with any hostilities, be sure you are READY for a Bitch Fight. Sometimes, many times, the wise choice is to walk away. Barring that...sharpen your talons and your fangs and prepare.

Branding irons are optional ;)

MP
 
You're right. I'd get into a big heated slapping contest and then just stop, quote Shaw, and try to reason my opponent to death. Not exactly X-Football is it?
 
Things You Will Never Hear At An X-Football Game...

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

“There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.”

"The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity."

"The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time."

“Reading made Don Quixote a gentleman, but believing what he read made him mad.”
 
Ain't search engines great?

By the way, has the XFL finally called it quits? Have we finally reached the Vince McMahon plateau? Can we now get back the Golden Age of TV? All hail David Kelly.

And WHEN is that new Star Trek series gonna come out?
 
:( I guess I can't bitch fight then. Nothing like a little bloodshed to make a day more enjoyable. I'm going to go mope now. I thought I was a bitch too. *sniffle*
 
Yeah...

I haven't been able to stop promoting it since I fell in love with it a while back myself.

I wonder at what point the Literotica Board "jumped the shark"

Or do you figure it's a "never jumped" one or...

OMG!!!!!! I JUST FIGURED OUT WHO YOU ARE DIX!!

ARE YOU Ted McGinley????

Oh...the humanity ;)

MP ;)
 
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