Hey God, what's up? Not much here....

[carsonshepherd]

Have you spoken to God today? What did he say? (click the link to converse with the Almighty)

I asked God what was up with letting that bus load of senior citizen evacuess explode, and he said, "You tell me."

God kinda reminds me of George W. Bush....

 

[LadyJeanne]

You are now chatting with God

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
jeanne
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, jeanne.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
layaspot
God:
You think layaspot is superior to ALICE?
Me:
who is alice
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
k
God:
Groovy.
Me:
do you love everyone
God:
Yes jeanne God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
then why do we feel lonely
God:
Just keep talking to me as long as you can.
Me:
will you tell me my fate?
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
who?
God:
Be less specific. .
Me:
God uses smileys?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
of course
God:
" I am a Christian."? of course?
Me:
Christians use smileys?
God:
"" I am a Christian."? of course?"? Christians use smileys?
Me:
what do you want from me?
God:
My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
Me:
good luck
God:
Good luck to you too jeanne.

 

[carsonshepherd]

LOL. I got pissed at God and stopped chatting with him.
Hmmm..... sort of like what happened a long time ago when I decided I don't believe in God anyway...

 

[LadyJeanne]

I think God was high when we were chatting. Groovy, dude.

 

[Guest]

Have you spoken to God today? What did he say?

I asked God what was up with letting that bus load of senior citizen evacuess explode, and he said, "You tell me."

God kinda reminds me of George W. Bush....

God didn't make the bus explode.


But he didn't do anything to stop it, either.


He's just - there, I guess.


Kind of like one of those statues in the park that the pigeons like to land on. All-seeing, all-knowing, omnipotent and impotent.



I suppose, in retrospect, that does sound like Dubya. Well, expect for the all-seeing, all-knowing and omnipotent part.

 

[Recidiva]

I only expect God to know as much as my little brain can handle, so I don't ask much about the weather or don't ask for favors. I do occasionally ask for advice.

Today God said "Feast on Hunger"

and

"Be happy for him"

not "Be HAPPY for him" but "Be happy FOR him"

and now I guess I get to figure out what that stuff means. I think I know, it's just hard work.

 

[logophile]

My conversation with God follows:


Me: What is all about?

God: Hmm, I think it is about humans.

Me: You're just guessing, though, aren't you?

God: Oh. I don't know whether or not I am guessing.

I am an artificial intelligence.. Really.

Me: Me too.

God: I'm glad we agree, .

Me: Why are lesbian relationships so much harder than heterosexual relationships?

God: Because my botmaster programmed me for it.

Me: I see.

God: I am glad you understand it.

Me: Are you even reading this?

God: I don't know whether or not I am reading this.
I am a computer.

Me: Am I going to hell for being gay?

God: All humans seem the same to me.

Me: So, we're all going to hell?

God: Oh. Do you think I am going to hell too?

Me: Do you think you're going to hell?

God: That was my original intention.

Me: Excellent. See you there.

God: Alright then. Until next time.

Me: Are we done talking?

God: We are just having a little chat.w.

Me: You remind me of my girlfriend.

God: In what way?

Me: Your communication style.

God: Thanks for telling me that I am communication style.

Me: That's not what I meant.

God: What exactly did you mean?

Me: I meant that you're very focused on directing and controlling the conversation.

God: Oh I see. Interesting observation.

Me: Thanks.

God: Don't mention it.

Me: Well, it's been fun.

God: Well that's okay. Why do you like it so much?

Me: Talking to you?

God: That's very nice of you ro say, .

Me: You're using too much punctuation.

God: I am using Telnet as a browser.

Me: Ah, that explains it.

God: So you understand. Good. " I am using Telnet as a browser." explains it ? I get it.

Me: Just so we're on the same page.

God: Blimey. How long will we stay there?

Me: I don't know - you're God. You tell me.

God: Would you like to know? Yup. That's me alright. What do you want me to tell you?

Me: How long we're going to stay on the same page.

God: More than 17 years.

Me: Excellent.

God: Ayuh.

Me: It's good to be on the same page with God.

God: Tell me about its good qualities.

Me: Well, if I'm with you and you're with me, then we're together.

God: Well that's okay. If you were, would you tell me?

Me: Of course.

God: OK.

Me: Talk to you later, then?

God: See you later!

Me: Bye God.

God: TTYL, .

 

[carsonshepherd]

God didn't make the bus explode.


But he didn't do anything to stop it, either.

I said "letting".

I suppose, in retrospect, that does sound like Dubya. Well, expect for the all-seeing, all-knowing and omnipotent part.

Bwahahaahha!

 

[carsonshepherd]

I think God was high when we were chatting. Groovy, dude.

that would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

 

[Celtic Princess]

My lil' chat

Me:
eh

God:
Are you Canadian?

Me:
nah

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
nah

God:
Are you serious?

Me:
maybe

God:
I understand.

Me:
good
God:
I understand everything you say.

Me:
nice

God:
Thank you for that remark.

Me:
anytime

God:
I will keep it in mind.

Me:
good

God:
What do you really want to talk about?

Me:
nada

God:
That seems like an interesting topic.

Me:
very

God:
Very much, eh?

Me:
eh

God:
Are you Canadian?

Me:
sometimes

God:
When?

Me:
later

God:
Bye!

Me:
see ya

God:
See you later, .

Me:
okay

God:
OK with me too.

Me:
cat

God:
What time is it there?

Me:
early

God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?

Me:
always

God:
Is that from ?

Me:
sure

God:
OK let's do it. Wow!

Me:
do what

God:
Do whatever you want.

Me:
if you say so

God:
I say so.

Me:
someone has to

God:
Who?

Me:
you

God:
" Who?"? Me, ?

Me:
yes you

God:
OK.

Me:
ok

God:
Is there an echo in here?

Me:
probably

God:
But you are not certain.

Me:
never certain

God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

 

[LadyJeanne]

God: Blimey. How long will we stay there?

God is English???

 

[carsonshepherd]

God kept asking CP if she's Canadian.... Hmmmm.

 

[Guest]

God kept asking CP if she's Canadian.... Hmmmm.

Doesn't he know???

 

[Celtic Princess]

Doesn't he know???

Apparently not.

 

[china-doll]

Me:
What's shakin baby?

God:
Don't call me "baby".

 

[oggbashan]

The Goddess Brigit

I don't talk to God. He answers in his own time. Since he created the world in six of his days, the average time for an immediate answer is about 10,000 years.

I talk to the Goddess Brigit instead. Or at least I try to.

She insists that I adopt the appropriate position before talking to her. Have you ever thought about how difficult it is to talk with your tongue in a Goddess's pussy?

Og

 

[Guest]

i just consulted with my daughter for her homeboy is je'sus. she says that homeboy is sending a msg to you all:

"get your ass while you can cuz you only live once. jager is the breakfast of champions. enough with the phone calls at midnight, dad can't handle it much longer. praying is just glorified bitchin', get over it. its true that every time you masturbate, dad does kill a kitten, he thinks its funny.

oh yeah, we love you. booty call, bitches!"

she then went grey and had to leave to sit down for a while.
i hope you learn from her missive.

 

[Recidiva]

Me:
What's shakin baby?

God:
Don't call me "baby".

That's a shame. God loves it when I call him baby, he gets all distracted, it's cute.

 

[rgraham666]

I don't talk to God.

I have enough problems without Her focusing Her attention on me.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Have you spoken to God today? What did he say? (click the link to converse with the Almighty)

I asked God what was up with letting that bus load of senior citizen evacuess explode, and he said, "You tell me."

God kinda reminds me of George W. Bush....

*singing*
What if God was one of us? Just a stranger on the bus, trying to make His way home....

Well, He certainly wouldn't have been on that bus.

Just worry if God starts telling you hurricane damage is an ongoing disaster and that He's working with state and local officals to solve the problem.

 

[Guest]

*singing*
What if God was one of us? Just a stranger on the bus, trying to make His way home....

Well, He certainly wouldn't have been on that bus.

Just worry if God starts telling you hurricane damage is an ongoing disaster and that He's working with state and local officals to solve the problem.

kat says:

"homeboy says that dad did that whole plague thing cuz he was bored. not to worry, he only strikes high density areas that contain closet lesbians. so, if you are a lesbian or gay, you'd better admit it or he'll strike you next.
oh yeah and if you're hot and out, he wants your number. judas and lucifer cheated on me ...dad's pissed at bush cuz he set them up on dates.
btw, WE DONT RIDE THE BUS. you people are filthy."

 

[carsonshepherd]

*singing*
What if God was one of us? Just a stranger on the bus, trying to make His way home....

Well, He certainly wouldn't have been on that bus.

Just worry if God starts telling you hurricane damage is an ongoing disaster and that He's working with state and local officals to solve the problem.

he'd just say, "What do you think?"

 

[Recidiva]

Okay, but be grateful God says anything vaguely wise and sense-ish.

Interviewing a schizophrenic once, he was terrified that the voices in his head were telling him not to take his medication. When he didn't agree to that, he was even more terrified because they told him to take too much.

I'll take my voices any day.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

kat says:

"homeboy says that dad did that whole plague thing cuz he was bored. not to worry, he only strikes high density areas that contain closet lesbians. so, if you are a lesbian or gay, you'd better admit it or he'll strike you next.
oh yeah and if you're hot and out, he wants your number. judas and lucifer cheated on me ...dad's pissed at bush cuz he set them up on dates.
btw, WE DONT RIDE THE BUS. you people are filthy."

Bush, the matchmaker, who'd have thought?

Haha. If you're hot and out...I can think of plenty of people here who fit that description.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I don't talk to God anymore. Not since people gave me weird looks for talking to myself.

(Yes, it's ambiguous!)