Hey, Anonymous!

[cloudy]

I couldn't find the old thread (alright, I didn't even look), but I just had to answer this on my Free Speech Essay (comment posted today):

Bovine Scatology
09/13/05 By: Anonymous in The United States
This essay was written by a weak-kneed liberal who has almost no life experience to base these ideas upon. The "logic" used in this piece of trash contradicts itself between paragraphs, rendering everything moot. What a crock...

Dear Mr. Bull Shit,

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, however, I wish y'all would make up your mind as to whether I'm a "weak-kneed liberal" or a "neo-con." It would seem the two would be mutually exclusive.

Oh, by the way, it already won second place in the contest, so you're a little behind. And, your terminology fools no one....might as well go back to using common terms. You neither look intelligent nor "cool" by your word choice.

Thanks for reading!

 

[impressive]

Well, this one wasn't online, but I got a note from Anonymous on my windshield:

Geek! Can't you read? NO PARKING! You look like a fucking man!!!

Well, actually I CAN read, and the sign said: "Reserved for Assistant Principal."

I'm not touchin' the rest.

 

[Dar~]

Hey Dar,

I am current reading your work on this board. There is some warranted
positive feedback, but when it pushes 100% you know there is a problem.
I've been in your shoes.

You are very talented, and I plan to continue reading what you write.
You write good, clean copy, obviously love what you are doing, and
frankly I think you're in a position to move on to some lengthier and
weightier work.

In time, I hope to see your work published in a more selective venue.
I hope at least some of that is in print and for-profit. Your erotic
material is not of particular interest to me, but your potential as a
writer is. You'll understand what I mean when you start to have
reasonable suspicions as to who I might be.

My opinions are my own and might or might not have some factual basis,
but here is where I would like to see more effort from you.

Your characters are too shallow, all of them, even for erotica. I know
you don't hate men, but the men in your fiction are all evil and
self-centered. They also follow the trite stereotypes of millenia. Many are
verbally abusive when they're aroused, and men in powerful places such
as your governor are essentially corrupt.

I know that time and length restrictions compel you to turn out
material which isn't your finest. It's easy to write the governor you wrote.
But what if he had been better? What if he had been a kind,
compassionate, family-oriented man? That's the man your heroine should have
seduced. It's harder, and she would have needed a later return flight.

Suppose too that there had been two legitimate sides of that
conflict--unusual in environmental cases, but this governor needed to believe his
original plan was at least initially in the public's best interest.
Things could also get more interesting if the governor comes away from
the story with a crush on your heroine--and maybe one where the root
attraction isn't sexual (although he could still have and perhaps act on
feelings of that kind as well). A sequel could be written from his
perspective, and he has to be at least as likable as your heroine.

I would avoid getting caught up in overused themes such as the
environment, where a few carelessly-tossed sentences create a conflict setting
for a story. Everybody does that (just look at some recent film
scripts), and you can do much better if you quit copying.

Speaking of copying, Anne Rice does write some good books. My favorite
to date is Belinda. The Beauty series, vampire chronicles, and all
that really don't seem very interesting with their
now-jam-this-up-your-ass antics. If you have to emulate Anne, it's time to re-read Belinda.

If you stay with erotica, or (better, I think) general fiction which
may have erotic content, your work should bear in mind that the primal
desires of men and women aren't sexual or hormonal in nature. Sexual
feelings can exist and can be strong, and perhaps you wish to capture some
of that in your work--but there is a whole lot more to living as you
well know. If you want to seduce the entire reader, you need to speak to
all her desires, and most of these aren't physical.

I think that's all I have to say for now, but I might add something
after you've written more.

Sincerely,

Reader 12

Dear Reader 12, This feedback is both good and negative for me. If I knew who you were, I wouldn't be upset by it, b/c the criticism is very constructive. Thats the negative for me; I don' t know who you are to have you help me or edit for me, or anything. the positive is that I am striving to become better at character development and I would love to branch out of erotica and am in fact in the process of writing a piece based in a women's prison camp during the holocaust.
While I appreciate such constructive criticism, I find myself wishing that I knew who you are b/c I would love to speak to you at length about how you feel I could progress. Thanks for the email, I know it took time. Please next itme reveal who you are, as I would love to speak to you.

 

[lil_elvis]

I couldn't find the old thread (alright, I didn't even look), but I just had to answer this on my Free Speech Essay (comment posted today):

Bovine Scatology
09/13/05 By: Anonymous in The United States
This essay was written by a weak-kneed liberal who has almost no life experience to base these ideas upon. The "logic" used in this piece of trash contradicts itself between paragraphs, rendering everything moot. What a crock...

Dear Mr. Bull Shit,

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, however, I wish y'all would make up your mind as to whether I'm a "weak-kneed liberal" or a "neo-con." It would seem the two would be mutually exclusive.

Oh, by the way, it already won second place in the contest, so you're a little behind. And, your terminology fools no one....might as well go back to using common terms. You neither look intelligent nor "cool" by your word choice.

Thanks for reading!

I just want to know what you wrote between the paragraphs that was so contradictory.

 

[cloudy]

I just want to know what you wrote between the paragraphs that was so contradictory.

It must be in invisible code, because I can't see it, either.

 

[My Erotic Tale]

I couldn't find the old thread (alright, I didn't even look), but I just had to answer this on my Free Speech Essay (comment posted today):

Bovine Scatology
09/13/05 By: Anonymous in The United States
This essay was written by a weak-kneed liberal who has almost no life experience to base these ideas upon. The "logic" used in this piece of trash contradicts itself between paragraphs, rendering everything moot. What a crock...

Dear Mr. Bull Shit,

I'm so glad you enjoyed it, however, I wish y'all would make up your mind as to whether I'm a "weak-kneed liberal" or a "neo-con." It would seem the two would be mutually exclusive.

Oh, by the way, it already won second place in the contest, so you're a little behind. And, your terminology fools no one....might as well go back to using common terms. You neither look intelligent nor "cool" by your word choice.

Thanks for reading!

Steppin' on Toe's
by My Erotic Tail ©

No matter where you go,
your libel to step on a toe.

Like the ye ole classic rhyme,
can't please everyone all the time.

Life's a dance, we learn as we go,
Yeah, its a song I know!

The world's gotten crowded and there's a lot more feet.
Just try hard to be kind and sweet.

Some are stubborn and done took root.
Just offer them a steel toe boot.

Tell them it could be worse,
Two left feet, they'll likely curse.

You can't stop a dog from barkin'.
Or even, the sore from harpin'

Stepping on toes is bound to happen,
Especially if their sittin' with their toe a tappin'

If you step on a toe look them square in the eyes,
Then kindly apologize.

Cause the good lord knows...
Your gonna step on toes.


hehehe...even critics have stumbling blocks <grin>
I thought it was a nice write cloudy...(~_~)

 

[cloudy]

Steppin' on Toe's
by My Erotic Tail ©

No matter where you go,
your libel to step on a toe.

Like the ye ole classic rhyme,
can't please everyone all the time.

Life's a dance, we learn as we go,
Yeah, its a song I know!

The world's gotten crowded and there's a lot more feet.
Just try hard to be kind and sweet.

Some are stubborn and done took root.
Just offer them a steel toe boot.

Tell them it could be worse,
Two left feet, they'll likely curse.

You can't stop a dog from barkin'.
Or even, the sore from harpin'

Stepping on toes is bound to happen,
Especially if their sittin' with their toe a tappin'

If you step on a toe look them square in the eyes,
Then kindly apologize.

Cause the good lord knows...
Your gonna step on toes.


hehehe...even critics have stumbling blocks <grin>
I thought it was a nice write cloudy...(~_~)

 

[CharleyH]

Ya, read the thread ... but, what pisses you off, gorgeous? And should it? Why do you care?

 

[cloudy]

Ya, read the thread ... but, what pisses you off, gorgeous? And should it? Why do you care?

Nah, I don't, not really. I get a little impatient with people too cowardly to leave their "name" sometimes, simply because I'd like to be able to discuss their opinion. It tends to make me think that they don't know enough to be able to discuss anything, and what they're leaving me is their knee-jerk reaction with nothing to back it up.

But, it's all good.

 

[elsol]

*burp*

It wasn't anonymous but... it was just too funny not to share.

Erotica isn't porn, and porn this is...
09/02/05 By: [Name Withheld to protect the innocent]
Cheap porn, the horror found in the grotesque and shove-it-up-max vulgarity.

Unredeemable.

Erotica is deliciously vivid, tantalizingly smooth, elegant, and enveloping in more ways than you even knew you had.

Go get a real phallus.

In truth, I'm at a loss for words... not because I plan to reply back, which I don't do on PCs... but.

Erotica isn't porn, and porn this is...

I know how said individual meant it, but is it wrong for me to be UTTERLY flattered by that?

Secondly this:

Go get a real phallus.

Someone actually calls a dick... a phallus?

I mean seriously, if a woman called my cock a phallus... I would know right there and then that I've failed as her man.

"Darling, I love the majesty of your... phallus!"

I'd be like... 'Okay, obviously I'm useless to women... maybe I can get it done for Carson.'

--- Caveat... unless she and I are roleplaying the 'action' sequence of a romance novel in all it's delicilously vivid detail.


Sincerely,
ElSol

 

[CharleyH]

Nah, I don't, not really. I get a little impatient with people too cowardly to leave their "name" sometimes, simply because I'd like to be able to discuss their opinion. It tends to make me think that they don't know enough to be able to discuss anything, and what they're leaving me is their knee-jerk reaction with nothing to back it up.

But, it's all good.

So, instead of getting pissed off at one ass, why dont you pose the question, and the story in question, and let "real" people respond with real feedback? Either that or turn off your feedback mode.

 

[velvetpie]

I hate those anonymous dumb fucks!