Hetero until proven otherwise

[Patryn]

I'm not gay or bisexual, but I have friends who are. I've asked this question of them, but really haven't gotten more than "Well, I just know."

Gay people are in the minority. That's just the way it is. So, unless a gay or lesbian is at a place or establishment especially gatering to or for gays and the gay community, how do you know if that cute guy or girl is gay or bi? I've heard the Ellen Degeneres "vibe" theory...is there really one?

It's the same with we heteros. For example, when I first had my eye on the guy I'm now seeing, I just assumed he was hetero, which he obviously is. There's no law anywhere that says if I like someone, they're automatically straight. The only reason that I can think of that heteros assume the object of their affections is hetero as well is because the chances are better that they are hetero or bi than strictly gay.

Anyone have any insight on this?

[Edited by Patryn on 09-20-2000 at 12:37 PM]

 

[Expertise]

Would that be Gaydar?

I think its all a myth. People who I never would have suspected turned out to be. People who I would have bet my life were, were'nt.

 

[Bliss]

Gaydar is not a myth, but not everyone has it. You know the old saw about not judging a book by its cover. Never more true than when the subject at hand has to (or feels they have to) go to great lengths to disguise themselves.

Intuition of any kind is a gift, like the ability to conjugate Latin, and most be finely tuned before a successful track record is had.

Or maybe I've had too much Nyquil. Not saying which.

Patryn's theory on precentages is true, but also some people like to preassign an identity to the object of their affections and of course would want that to match their preferences.

 

[Gaucho]

Gay or straight, we all make the assumption that the object of our affections is like us (or at least we hope they are) and will respond to our overtures. Obviously, if you are bi that widens the pool of candidates, since you aren't restricting yourself to one sex or the other.

As to what it is that attracts any of us (hetero or not) to another, that's one of the eternal mysteries of life. As one of our Supreme Court Justices once said about pornography, "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it."

 

[dancinvixen]

Yanno, I've had my hits and misses with both sexes. I don't think there is anything you can "just sense" about a person.

 

[Expertise]

I once went to a night club that proclaimed its non-judgemental nature and encouraged "all sexual orientations". My ego has never before or since experienced the roller coaster ride it did that night.

It gave my friends great excuses why women didn't want to dance with them. Discretion getting the better of valor, I didn't attempt to roll the dice asking women to dance.

Mass confusion and funny as hell though.

 

[Rand al'Thor]

I don't believe there is any such thing as gaydar. You can look at all the evidence presented and make a guess (based loosely on stereotyes of gays/lesbians/bi-sexuals), but there are always exceptions to the rule. I go to a Christian college, and there are a bunch of people that I would guess as gay or lesbian if I saw them on the street, but since the college doesn't admit gays, I know I'm wrong 99.9% of the time at school.

I leave off the 0.1% because of people like me at the school. Also, I disprove the gaydar theory myself. Nobody in their right mind would guess me bi-sexual, but I am.

Rand al'Thor
The Dragon Reborn

 

[Naked Hunny]

How can you know if someone is gay/straight/bi or whatever? My aunt who is a lesbian is the very sterotypical lesbian. Short butch haircut and i swear i have never seen that woman in a dress!! Now im bisexual but would you have guessed so? Probably not.

 

[Bliss]

Tsk. Tsk. (Always a good opener, dontcha think?)

Gaydar or intuition or whatever you want to call it has absolutely nada to with stereotypes or outward *blech* so called clues given by presumptions on ones appearance, nevermind guessing anything.

Finesse of feeling has nothing at all to do with preconceptions or prejudices. Remember, boobahs, that the term Gaydar is derived from radar, seeing what the eyeball cannot, and in most cases will not willingly, see.

Everyone always sees only what they want to, only the truly gifted see the truth.

If someone you know plays the piano very well and you cannot, does that make their playing nonexistant?

Also, most of realize we are speaking of actual human interaction, not this stoopid electronic contraption.

That is all...


Ze BlissBaybee