Herpes

[Niamh]

Zam, a hundred doctors can tell you what the risk of contracting the infection is, but what really matters is how you feel about it. What is your comfort level? If you are worried about getting herpes from this new lady, I don't think you're going to enjoy any sexual encounters with her very much.

To answer your specific question: No, I would not take the chance.

 

[shynsexy]

Some great advice here and god I appreciate the thoughtfulness.

Can you honestly answer this...would YOU have casual sex, protected casual sex with someone you know has Herpes?

Zam, about 2 yrs ago i was "involved" with someone online, and she told me about her herpes, she got the std from her ex husband who cheated. she lived with it for so long it was nothing to her, but when we met IRL i wasnt able to get past it. i guess i'm selfish but i just couldnt have sex with her. to me it wasnt worth the risk. shy

 

[PacificBlue]

Adding my .02 cents. I think before you move any further you need to make sure you aren't a carrier of the virus yourself. Have you ever had a cold sore? Have you ever had unprotected sex? (you don't need to answer these questions out here in public) If the answer is yes to either one, you could have the virus and not know it. Lots of STD's don't present with typical symptoms or symptoms at all. KM is right...it can be transmitted as asyptomatic shedding.

There is a blood test now that you can get that will detect whether or not you are a carrier of Simplex 1 or 2...the Western Blot at the Univ. of Washington (my understanding is that they send your blood sample there for testing). Unfortunately, if it does come back positive for either type you won't know whether it is orally or genitally, as you can get the virus in either location with either number. Make sense?

I had the blood test several months back as I wanted to be tested for ALL STD's just for my own peace of mind, it's quick and takes about two weeks to get the results. Thankfully, I'm all clear for both 1 and 2. You have to ask specifically for this test though...there is an older generation test that isn't accurate.

It's important to note that you have to wait 3 months from your last episode of sexual contact (intercourse, oral, etc.) BEFORE having the test otherwise they will not guarantee the accuracy of the test. It can take up to 3 months for people to develop detectable antibodies in their blood. The CDC website has info on this. You'll want to check it out for yourself. There is also a hotline number you can call for questions specific to Herpes and other STD's....I don't know about the educational background of the people answering the calls so be warned. I'm not sure they are Dr.'s or Nurses.

To answer your other question...would I have sex with someone I knew who had it? No, not unless I was VERY sure about my feelings for this person. I think sex is rushed in a lot of cases. I also understand why...my hormones get pretty hot and heavy too. I usually get dumped pretty early on because I'm not willing to go to bed with someone too quickly in a relationship. That's my decision and my comfort level. I know me and how I react. I refuse to feel guilty for that anymore. My health. My life. My "C" batteries work just fine for now.

There are ways to protect yourself from the virus...condoms being one way but it's also important to remember that condoms DON'T cover ALL the areas that make you susceptible to STD's. No sexual contact with anyone is without risk even with condoms. Condoms LOWER the risk...they don't eliminate it. That said...smarter to use one, than to not...especially in a world of HIV. Another important point was brought up in this thread. Most people don't think of cold sores as herpes...yet oral herpes can either be strain 1 or 2 and be transmitted to the genitals. When was the last time you asked a potential dating partner before you kissed them if they ever got cold sores, even once in their lifetime?

Looks like you found a website with good information. I have one other one that I'd recommend if you were interested in more on the subject on Herpes and yet another on STD's in general. Talking to a physician is a good idea but also important to note that not all physician's are up-to-date on the latest about Herpes. Liminx was told it was pointless to be tested and that just simply isn't true, in my opinion. While I'm not sure it's the best idea to get obsessive about research, it is important to take responsibility for our own health. Know the facts and risks.

 

[Zamdrist]

PacificBlue - Thanks for the reply and you're thoughts. It's nice to know what other people think.

I appreciate you taking the time.

 

[Kelly_Liscious]

Some great advice here and god I appreciate the thoughtfulness.

Can you honestly answer this...would YOU have casual sex, protected casual sex with someone you know has Herpes?

No, I would not want to place myself in that situation.
Casual sex with some one who has an STD .. the risk is too high.

The situation would be different if I had a strong bond with that individual and we were looking at a long term relationship.

But casual sex ... no.

 

[Zamdrist]

And another thing. She's given birth to three children, none of which have contracted herpes.

So I figure...

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

My ex-wife had oral herpes (I forget which simplex) which broke out when she became pregnant. As far as I know neither my daughter nor I have it. As others have pointed out, it depends on which form and where, and how cautious you are. People do have full and happy sex lives with herpes.

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[Zamdrist]

A woman that has an outbreak of herpes at the end of her pregnancy will have a C section to avoid contact. Without any signs, the doc will allow a vaginal birth.

Which would support the concept of avoiding sex during outbreaks, and using a condom in between.

BTW, thanks for adding your thoughts.

I understand too you contract herpes merely by kissing. I've kissed her well over a dozen times now but she wasn't 'broken out'.

The only hesitation I had was the typical hesitation one has kissing a new interest

Thank you again for posting your feelings, I appreciate it.

 

[Guest]