Here's one marriage that is absolutely guaranteed NOT to end in divorce:

[alyxen]

Dead Couple to Be Married

Fri Aug 27,11:15 AM ET (from Reuters Oddly Enough)

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - A South African man who shot his pregnant fiance dead before killing himself will be posthumously married to her at the weekend.

Police Captain Mohale Ramatseba said David Masenta shot 25-year-old Mgwanini Molomo after a quarrel before turning the gun on himself. But Johannesburg's Sowetan newspaper said family and friends wanted to remember them as a happy couple destined for a happy life together.

The groom's corpse would be dressed in a cream suit and his bride's in a gown for the ceremony, at which a priest in the rural village of Ceres in Limpopo will bless the union before the two are buried, the Sowetan said.

"In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul," said cultural expert Mathole Motshekga. "It is also important because the families are married together."

"This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."

 

[Guest]

i think i woke up too early...


*speechless*

 

[Liar]

Hmm... this is really weird.

He shot her, and then shot himself. Then he gets married to her?It makes you wonder: Forget for a while that they are both dead... If they had actually survived the ordeal, would they still had got married? I think bloody not.

#L

 

[doormouse]

Hmm... this is really weird.

He shot her, and then shot himself. Then he gets married to her?It makes you wonder: Forget for a while that they are both dead... If they had actually survived the ordeal, would they still had got married? I think bloody not.

#L

Liar said 'bloody'

 

[R. Richard]

"In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul," said cultural expert Mathole Motshekga. "It is also important because the families are married together."

"This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."

The last sentence kind of explained it for me. I mean, it is not as if he criticized her shoes or her friends, he just shot her. Later on they just might get back together.

I aint goin' to Africa!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... family and friends wanted to remember them as a happy couple destined for a happy life together...

And I'd like to remember my high school years as happy and secure, leading to a successful college education! Does that mean I can take a sniper rifle back to my hometown and ....

 

[Svenskaflicka]

So THAT's what a shotgun wedding is?

 

[lewdandlicentious]

Dead Couple to Be Married

"In African culture, there is no death -- there is merely the separation of body and soul,"

"This does not mean the relationship has irretrievably broken down."

Ok, let me check I got this right! There is no death, the body and soul seperates right??

So what's the point in joining the bodies in matrimony if the souls ain't there to agree??

Doesn't death sort of bring all things to a close???

Hey, I'd bet they'd shit at the ceremony if the corpses said "I Do" !!!!

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

Dead Couple to Be Married ... family and friends wanted to remember them as a happy couple destined for a happy life together ... It is also important because the families are married together....the relationship has [not] irretrievably broken down."

As I kept passing this thread, it eventually grew on me that the title was incorrect.

The deceased couple have been married because their friends and families want to think of them as a happy couple. If the families and friends ever have a falling out, might they not have the couple posthumously divorced, because they no longer wish to think of them as a happy couple whose marriage links them to those OTHER people?

Once you start playing house with deceased people, how do you know where to stop, or when? Death, it seems, is no barrier.

In my opinion, their marriage is as likely to end in divorce as extant people, since it is more difficult for a group of people to remain united in a cause over any lengthy period of time, than it is for a couple.


Edited to add: At least it is a pretty safe bet that they will never be caught cheating on each other.

 

[Tathagata]

So if I'm married to a dead fuck...is that the same??

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

So if I'm married to a dead fuck...is that the same??

I believe you BOTH have to be dead.

It's a togetherness thing, don'cha know!

 

[Tathagata]

I believe you BOTH have to be dead.

It's a togetherness thing, don'cha know!

ahhhhhh
so I lose again

so much for the trip to mexico

 

[Liar]

So THAT's what a shotgun wedding is?

It's a match made in heaven, apparently.

But how does "til death do us part" fit in?

#L

 

[R. Richard]

And I'd like to remember my high school years as happy and secure, leading to a successful college education! Does that mean I can take a sniper rifle back to my hometown and ....

Of course not! VB, this is a personal experience thing. You need to use a handgun here, where you can keep it up close and personal!

JMHO.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

... JMHO.

Just My Homicidal Opinion?

 

[doormouse]

So if I'm married to a dead fuck...is that the same??

PMSL!!

That's not nice!! (get to my room)

 

[Tathagata]

PMSL!!

That's not nice!! (get to my room)

ok

 

[doormouse]

ok

Yay a monkey and a mouse LOL

Just be gentle wif me

 

[Tathagata]

Yay a monkey and a mouse LOL

Just be gentle wif me

this violates some kinda rules of nature doesn't it??

 

[doormouse]

this violates some kinda rules of nature doesn't it??

I won't tell if you don't

 

[Tathagata]

I won't tell if you don't

deal

 

[Lucifer_Carroll]

The sentiments thus here presented are an example of the wholly vitalist biases of this country. Why can't a demon and an undead minion have a wholly blissful union for all eternity and...what? Two dead humans? Not undead in any way? Well that's fucking sick, is what it is.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

this violates some kinda rules of nature doesn't it??

http://www.mccrecords.com/NoMonkey.gif

BAD MONKEY

 

[sweetnpetite]

I understand the sentiment...


...but the actual wedding seems awful morbid.


Once again, "I Lydia Deets am of sound mind and body... oh how I love that man of mine."

If I lived in Africa, I'd need to remember to put a provision in my will that clearly states, "If some bastard kills me, I do not wish to be united in mariage with him throughout eternity. I'd rather that he were to rot in hell, and I could go live in the land of milk and honey with a lover who is more in touch with his feelings."

That said, maybe they think that grieving together will be easier if they are all family. But more likely than not, the joining of the two families is more of an economic thing.

Can think of a thousand story ideas for "Horror" bouncing off this story. So many interesting ramifications for the afterlife...

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Once again, "I Lydia Deets am of sound mind and body... oh how I love that man of mine."

Beetlejuice!
Beetlejuice!
Beetlejuice!