Here is a poem

Spinaroonie

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
Joined
Jul 29, 2000
Posts
17,721
After the restaurant, the miracle grew
so large we bought more wine,
took each other to bed. Outside, blocks of time
drifted from the traffic lights, and the ending


could not be told over the bus-brakes,
The bust could not go under 60 MPH,
Or it would explode,
I crashed it into the World Trade Center,
and made the nightly news with Tom Brokwa
drunks and children wailing from the streets.
Like in any famous city, we could see no stars.
Astrology abandons us in times of excellence


and mischief. My best guess at forever
was the planter on the window-sill, filled with
store-bought herbs and soil, the Miracle-Gro
I grew weed until the DEA arrested me like I was a Mexican,
The cross between plexiglass and a peligan would be Plexigan (AUTHOR'S NOTE: Needed something that would rhyme with Mexican)
like a firmament of shameless chemical stars.
 
Hi! Really cool poem.

I don't understand the need for that rhyme you commented on in the end, but I'm sure you had your reasons.

I found some passages quite brilliant. Especially those:

Like in any famous city, we could see no stars.
Astrology abandons us in times of excellence


and

My best guess at forever
was the planter on the window-sill, filled with
store-bought herbs and soil


You've got talent. Please write some more, will ya? :)

#L
 
Re: Re: Here is a poem

Liar said:
Hi! Really cool poem.

I don't understand the need for that rhyme you commented on in the end, but I'm sure you had your reasons.

I found some passages quite brilliant. Especially those:

Like in any famous city, we could see no stars.
Astrology abandons us in times of excellence


and

My best guess at forever
was the planter on the window-sill, filled with
store-bought herbs and soil


You've got talent. Please write some more, will ya? :)

#L
Yeah, there are some good lines, but I got a feeling this was a "joke" poem. So, I looked at the profile and his/her last post is in a thread called "have i posted in all the forums yet." lol
 
Re: Re: Re: Here is a poem

WickedEve said:
Yeah, there are some good lines, but I got a feeling this was a "joke" poem. So, I looked at the profile and his/her last post is in a thread called "have i posted in all the forums yet." lol
Ssh! I'm trying to appeal to Spinaroonie's vanity here, to see if I can lure another stray sheep into the fold. Besides, that AV is just so sexy. I'm a sucker for stick figures.
 
Re: Re: Here is a poem

Liar said:
Hi! Really cool poem.

I don't understand the need for that rhyme you commented on in the end, but I'm sure you had your reasons.

I found some passages quite brilliant. Especially those:

Like in any famous city, we could see no stars.
Astrology abandons us in times of excellence


and

My best guess at forever
was the planter on the window-sill, filled with
store-bought herbs and soil


You've got talent. Please write some more, will ya? :)

#L

i agree. those two passages are exceptional.

and who can resist stick figures? :)
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Here is a poem

Liar said:
Ssh! I'm trying to appeal to Spinaroonie's vanity here, to see if I can lure another stray sheep into the fold. Besides, that AV is just so sexy. I'm a sucker for stick figures.
I'm making a note: Forget lots of T and A. Men want stick figures. Or do they want stick figures with lots of T and A?
Anyway, revise the poem... blah blah and another blah... It has potential.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Here is a poem

WickedEve said:
I'm making a note: Forget lots of T and A. Men want stick figures. Or do they want stick figures with lots of T and A?
Anyway, revise the poem... blah blah and another blah... It has potential.

eve.

.................is that a thumb?
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Here is a poem

PatCarrington said:
eve.

.................is that a thumb?
Where? It's been so long that I'm not sure which one is the thumb.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Here is a poem

WickedEve said:
I'm making a note: Forget lots of T and A. Men want stick figures. Or do they want stick figures with lots of T and A?
Have you seen what fashion models look like these days?
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Here is a poem

WickedEve said:
I'm making a note: Forget lots of T and A. Men want stick figures. Or do they want stick figures with lots of T and A?
Anyway, revise the poem... blah blah and another blah... It has potential.

I just want warm hands and a warm heart. I can make the T & A into anything required, given those two requisites. I can even turn a fat lady into a stick figure.

The poem, in this thread, essentially, I also saw as a "joke." It mostly sucked, in my (today) unhumble opinion.
 
Back
Top