Helping her surrender...

[Our_Adventure]

My wife has recently expressed a desire to explore her submissive side. She has been doing a lot of reading and research into how to best engage with her femininity by exaggerating the polarity between the masculine and feminine.

We have spoken at length about how we will undertake this venture, written a lists of our "do's" and "don't", desires and dreams and are preparing to get underway within corporations this type of play into our relationship.

I am open, curious and excited to explore my more dominant side - and to be honest find it quite easy to connect with my dominant side and embrace it in the bedroom.

My wife on the other hand really struggles to let go and surrender and "be in her body." Mentally and emotionally she seems ready and willing, but has expressed her concern that she struggles to truly let go and allow herself to just "be."

We are at the beginning of a very long and exciting journey. We are committed to that and enthusiastic. I guess I am seeking some advice about where to begin as a dominant. What techniques or methods can I use to help my wife begin to surrender?

Any and all advice appreciated.

 

[SpunThings]

My wife has recently expressed a desire to explore her submissive side. She has been doing a lot of reading and research into how to best engage with her femininity by exaggerating the polarity between the masculine and feminine.

We have spoken at length about how we will undertake this venture, written a lists of our "do's" and "don't", desires and dreams and are preparing to get underway within corporations this type of play into our relationship.

I am open, curious and excited to explore my more dominant side - and to be honest find it quite easy to connect with my dominant side and embrace it in the bedroom.

My wife on the other hand really struggles to let go and surrender and "be in her body." Mentally and emotionally she seems ready and willing, but has expressed her concern that she struggles to truly let go and allow herself to just "be."

We are at the beginning of a very long and exciting journey. We are committed to that and enthusiastic. I guess I am seeking some advice about where to begin as a dominant. What techniques or methods can I use to help my wife begin to surrender?

Any and all advice appreciated.

For me it took time, and practice, and experience. It also got easier when my husband and I acknowledged that any response I have is good, even if it's responding with a negative emotion. I learned to trust that he would handle it well if I experienced a negative emotion, and I agreed to be open with him about my responses, even if I thought he wouldn't like it. Anyways, those were our unique problems that we worked out over lots of time, practice, and experience.

The short answer? She could just do it whether she feels it or not. Fake it till she makes it. You both need good communication skills to work out what doesn't work, and what does work.

 

[cookiecat]

So this is D/s in the bedroom only? I ask because the approach is different for her serving you in the bedroom vs. being more submissive to you in your day to day world. Maybe the two would go hand in hand to get her more in the mindset?

Letting go and getting outside of my head is the biggest obstacle to really enjoying all of this awesome stuff. 1000 voices in my head tell me I look weird or I'm doing it wrong or I'm not pleasing enough... or "I'm a good girl, I can't do THAT!" when all the while I really really want to do that!

In the bedroom, something that helps me is sensory deprivation and restraint. If I'm tied up (or down!) and am "forced" to do something that makes me feel awkward or embarrassed, it takes away that uncertainty.

Sensory deprivation is as easy as a blindfold. It heightens the anticipation but also calms down my head. I like a hood but that can be scary at first. I've also heard that just wearing a collar or cuffs puts people in a more submissive mindset. I have a pretty pink leather set we bought from a friend but you can look online. The act of you putting on the collar, putting the cuffs on her wrists or ankles and maybe just making her wear them around for a while...

Positions always work for me. One of the things someone had me do early on was learn these gorean slave positions. It's a little weird. But I'm glad I learned them. So, if he says I want you in position, it's on hands and knees, head down, ass up. He made me wait like this while he monkeyed around doing god knows what but it made me both calm down and really aroused.

Here's a link to positions: https://submrs.com/practice-positions/

As the dominant - there's a thread called something like "what is it a dom does?" - there are a lot of different opinions there. Might be useful! The only thing I'd say is be really firm with your expectations.

For example, if you tell her to get in position and she doesn't or doesn't hold it or gripes about it... what is the consequence for this? Perhaps you finger her just to the edge of orgasm and don't let her cum. Or you spank her. Or put her in the corner. Whatever you guys have talked about. Just be sure to keep that dominant mindset and reinforce the rules.

And, as SpunThings said - communicate! You can't talk about this stuff too much.

This is getting way too long. I'm not sure if this is the kind of info you're looking for. Feel free to message if you wish.

Good luck!!

 

[MastersDelight]

What cookie said! We like using titles. When we're in "that place" he is Master or Sir. And I'm.... Well, whatever he wants to call me. It's usually derogatory or something to induce shame (whore, slut, cunt etc.).

Him putting my collar on always brings me to that place, just as Him removing it brings me back up for air. It's always gentle, tender, but with all the quiet resonance of dominance. When he assumes that position he wears it like a good suit, he doesn't have to say a word. It's in his gaze, his movements and how he carries himself. It took him time to come to that, but it helps me feel more submissive. His confidence makes me feel safer so that I can let go and just "be". We're still a little inexperienced, and he's still practicing worth floggers and the like, but the trust I have in him to not seriously hurt me allows me to let go.

When we scene publicly it can be hard to get into that head space. Sensory deprivation helps, as does being tied. Master also has music that he likes to use when we scene that I find particularly helpful.

 

[hooterbif]

While communication is often recommended in response to your question, I will point out that it can sometimes lead to a paradoxical problem.

More communication would seem to mean more understanding and better domming/subbing, but it can also lead to a sub losing out on feeling dominated and a dom losing out on feeling that the sub is really subbing. Telling the dom, or "teaching" the dom, what to do removes some of that experience.

I am not sure that I have explained the paradox well, but I have seen it happen to me, and apparently to others in these threads.

Maybe there is a point when all the talk should fall into the background?

 

[SpunThings]

While communication is often recommended in response to your question, I will point out that it can sometimes lead to a paradoxical problem.

More communication would seem to mean more understanding and better domming/subbing, but it can also lead to a sub losing out on feeling dominated and a dom losing out on feeling that the sub is really subbing. Telling the dom, or "teaching" the dom, what to do removes some of that experience.

I am not sure that I have explained the paradox well, but I have seen it happen to me, and apparently to others in these threads.

Maybe there is a point when all the talk should fall into the background?

It does remove some of the feeling of being submissive to have to teach, but you can't get to that really good place where the two of you get into a groove without a lot of explanation without that. So you suck it up, and get your head out of the clouds as a sub, and realize it's going to take time and hard work to experience anything like the fantasy in your head. Or you get lucky and find a partner who gets it exactly right on the first try. The former is more likely.

 

[MastersDelight]

While communication is often recommended in response to your question, I will point out that it can sometimes lead to a paradoxical problem.

More communication would seem to mean more understanding and better domming/subbing, but it can also lead to a sub losing out on feeling dominated and a dom losing out on feeling that the sub is really subbing. Telling the dom, or "teaching" the dom, what to do removes some of that experience.

I am not sure that I have explained the paradox well, but I have seen it happen to me, and apparently to others in these threads.

Maybe there is a point when all the talk should fall into the background?

People call this "topping from the bottom", I hate that phrase and I don't really feel like its a problem. In the beginning it's exactly what we used to do. He would tie me up:

Him: I think like this should work.
Me: Ok. * assumes position*
Him: Nvm * moves about and changed things while I sit awkwardly and watch.*
Me: Maybe this? * insert idea here*
Him: Yeah ok. * gets things right *
Me: *assumes position*
Him: Is that too tight.
Me: No it's good.

Impact :

WACK! * gages my reaction *
WACK! WACK! * my feet come up and I squirm*
Him: Too much?
Me: A little, I'm not quite there.
Him: Ok.
TAP TAPTAPTAPTAPTAP WACK!
Me: Sooooo much better.

Flogger:

swish swish swish swish SWACK THUMP!
Me: Oewowowowoowowowoeoeoe you wrapped! * bouncing up and down in pain dance *
Him: * presses me to the wall with body and rubs wrapped area* I'm sorry that was me. Are you still ok?
Me: Yeah * resumes position*

We aren't still like this but it's how it was for a while until we figured things out. Until he knew my physical reactions without me saying a word. And I think our communication helped speed that recognition along. When he stopped having to verbally check in with me constantly to know where I was mentally and physically my trust grew. When he would land a blow a little off and would recognize the error himself and correct, my trust grew. When he not only planned a scene but was prepared and sure that things would work the way he wanted them to, my trust grew.

 

[funmauijolie]

As a married woman who definitely has the desire to be dominated, I want to say it is great that both of you are approaching this with open minds. For me, although my husband is my best lover, and best friend, we both agreed that this is something we probably not be able to experience together. We definitely role play it often, but just not able to get lost in the roles. We would often break out into laughter, or as others have mentioned, I was trying to control the scene from the bottom. My desire to be submissive just was not getting fufilled when I would need to direct how he dominated me. Luckily I am not a true 24/7 sub. I admit that it is a sexual kink for me and something I enjoy a few times a month. My husabnd and I agreed that I would find a Dom to fufill this desire. My Dom needed to fully control me during scenes/sessions, yet understand that this is not a 24/7 thing for me. My Dom can bleed into me 'regular' life ocasionally by requiring me to send pics, or carry out sexual tasks. For instance, I am required to wear a butt plug daily, but can do this while with my family. If I happen to be in his town, and have free time, he can require I stop by and service him. My husband loves the whole situation as well.
The reason I mention this is because of several communications I had in regard to a previous post I made about my situation. So many people mentioned they just could not find true submission with their spouse. Dont get me wrong, If you can that is great, but there are other options that can work that you could possibly mention to your spouse.

Aloha
Jolie

 

[MeekMe]

My wife has recently expressed a desire to explore her submissive side. She has been doing a lot of reading and research into how to best engage with her femininity by exaggerating the polarity between the masculine and feminine.

We have spoken at length about how we will undertake this venture, written a lists of our "do's" and "don't", desires and dreams and are preparing to get underway within corporations this type of play into our relationship.

I am open, curious and excited to explore my more dominant side - and to be honest find it quite easy to connect with my dominant side and embrace it in the bedroom.

Neat, glad you're both on board and communicating.

My wife on the other hand really struggles to let go and surrender and "be in her body." Mentally and emotionally she seems ready and willing, but has expressed her concern that she struggles to truly let go and allow herself to just "be."

We are at the beginning of a very long and exciting journey. We are committed to that and enthusiastic. I guess I am seeking some advice about where to begin as a dominant. What techniques or methods can I use to help my wife begin to surrender?

Any and all advice appreciated.

The surrender part makes me think she needs to stop resisting the enemy. ;;

What does she feel she needs to let go? When you say she can't just "be," what is "be?"

Since you're at the beginning, I actually don't see anything wrong with this. Would it be so bad to move slowly and have fun? On paper it sounds great, in practice it's a little more difficult to do. It's a very odd thing to let go and submit to another. It can be very disconcerting to go from being in charge of life to following the commands of another. It takes time to feel comfortable with that. Sometimes a little discomfort is part of the fun.

Perhaps knowing what the motivation is can help. When I'm struggling to do something, knowing why I'm doing something helps me jump the hurdle. Not why he wants it (I ask this question but it's for a very specific thing unique to me), but why I want to do it for him. This also doesn't happen easily or without hesitation. It most likely doesn't look very sexy either.

Speaking of not sexy, lots of things are probably not going to go off without a hitch. Lots of trial and error and a good sense of humor can go a long way. I've found comfort in being able to laugh about things and move on. It's really made the experience more human for me and definitely has helped with my own kind of "letting go." My only advice for what you can do, is to be encouraging and compassionate while she works out what "letting go" is for her.

 

[Our_Adventure]

For me it took time, and practice, and experience. It also got easier when my husband and I acknowledged that any response I have is good, even if it's responding with a negative emotion. I learned to trust that he would handle it well if I experienced a negative emotion, and I agreed to be open with him about my responses, even if I thought he wouldn't like it. Anyways, those were our unique problems that we worked out over lots of time, practice, and experience.

The short answer? She could just do it whether she feels it or not. Fake it till she makes it. You both need good communication skills to work out what doesn't work, and what does work.

Thank you for your kind advice. I certainly understand the notion "fake it til you make it"... perhaps I'm doing a bit of that for now.

Regardless, an exciting venture!

So this is D/s in the bedroom only? I ask because the approach is different for her serving you in the bedroom vs. being more submissive to you in your day to day world. Maybe the two would go hand in hand to get her more in the mindset?

Letting go and getting outside of my head is the biggest obstacle to really enjoying all of this awesome stuff. 1000 voices in my head tell me I look weird or I'm doing it wrong or I'm not pleasing enough... or "I'm a good girl, I can't do THAT!" when all the while I really really want to do that!

In the bedroom, something that helps me is sensory deprivation and restraint. If I'm tied up (or down!) and am "forced" to do something that makes me feel awkward or embarrassed, it takes away that uncertainty.

Sensory deprivation is as easy as a blindfold. It heightens the anticipation but also calms down my head. I like a hood but that can be scary at first. I've also heard that just wearing a collar or cuffs puts people in a more submissive mindset. I have a pretty pink leather set we bought from a friend but you can look online. The act of you putting on the collar, putting the cuffs on her wrists or ankles and maybe just making her wear them around for a while...

Positions always work for me. One of the things someone had me do early on was learn these gorean slave positions. It's a little weird. But I'm glad I learned them. So, if he says I want you in position, it's on hands and knees, head down, ass up. He made me wait like this while he monkeyed around doing god knows what but it made me both calm down and really aroused.

Here's a link to positions: https://submrs.com/practice-positions/

As the dominant - there's a thread called something like "what is it a dom does?" - there are a lot of different opinions there. Might be useful! The only thing I'd say is be really firm with your expectations.

For example, if you tell her to get in position and she doesn't or doesn't hold it or gripes about it... what is the consequence for this? Perhaps you finger her just to the edge of orgasm and don't let her cum. Or you spank her. Or put her in the corner. Whatever you guys have talked about. Just be sure to keep that dominant mindset and reinforce the rules.

And, as SpunThings said - communicate! You can't talk about this stuff too much.

This is getting way too long. I'm not sure if this is the kind of info you're looking for. Feel free to message if you wish.

Good luck!!

Thank you for the advice. I will certainly explore the positions you've suggested.

 

[Our_Adventure]

What cookie said! We like using titles. When we're in "that place" he is Master or Sir. And I'm.... Well, whatever he wants to call me. It's usually derogatory or something to induce shame (whore, slut, cunt etc.).

Him putting my collar on always brings me to that place, just as Him removing it brings me back up for air. It's always gentle, tender, but with all the quiet resonance of dominance. When he assumes that position he wears it like a good suit, he doesn't have to say a word. It's in his gaze, his movements and how he carries himself. It took him time to come to that, but it helps me feel more submissive. His confidence makes me feel safer so that I can let go and just "be". We're still a little inexperienced, and he's still practicing worth floggers and the like, but the trust I have in him to not seriously hurt me allows me to let go.

When we scene publicly it can be hard to get into that head space. Sensory deprivation helps, as does being tied. Master also has music that he likes to use when we scene that I find particularly helpful.

I can see how the use of titles would help get us both in the head space. I will make a point of talking that through with her.

When you say you "scene publicly" what does that look like? What is it that you do?

While communication is often recommended in response to your question, I will point out that it can sometimes lead to a paradoxical problem.

More communication would seem to mean more understanding and better domming/subbing, but it can also lead to a sub losing out on feeling dominated and a dom losing out on feeling that the sub is really subbing. Telling the dom, or "teaching" the dom, what to do removes some of that experience.

I am not sure that I have explained the paradox well, but I have seen it happen to me, and apparently to others in these threads.

Maybe there is a point when all the talk should fall into the background?

I certainly understand your point - and can see how this may happen for us. Thanks for the insight.

As a married woman who definitely has the desire to be dominated, I want to say it is great that both of you are approaching this with open minds. For me, although my husband is my best lover, and best friend, we both agreed that this is something we probably not be able to experience together. We definitely role play it often, but just not able to get lost in the roles. We would often break out into laughter, or as others have mentioned, I was trying to control the scene from the bottom. My desire to be submissive just was not getting fufilled when I would need to direct how he dominated me. Luckily I am not a true 24/7 sub. I admit that it is a sexual kink for me and something I enjoy a few times a month. My husabnd and I agreed that I would find a Dom to fufill this desire. My Dom needed to fully control me during scenes/sessions, yet understand that this is not a 24/7 thing for me. My Dom can bleed into me 'regular' life ocasionally by requiring me to send pics, or carry out sexual tasks. For instance, I am required to wear a butt plug daily, but can do this while with my family. If I happen to be in his town, and have free time, he can require I stop by and service him. My husband loves the whole situation as well.
The reason I mention this is because of several communications I had in regard to a previous post I made about my situation. So many people mentioned they just could not find true submission with their spouse. Dont get me wrong, If you can that is great, but there are other options that can work that you could possibly mention to your spouse.

Aloha
Jolie

Food for thought, thank you.

People call this "topping from the bottom", I hate that phrase and I don't really feel like its a problem. In the beginning it's exactly what we used to do. He would tie me up:

Him: I think like this should work.
Me: Ok. * assumes position*
Him: Nvm * moves about and changed things while I sit awkwardly and watch.*
Me: Maybe this? * insert idea here*
Him: Yeah ok. * gets things right *
Me: *assumes position*
Him: Is that too tight.
Me: No it's good.

Impact :

WACK! * gages my reaction *
WACK! WACK! * my feet come up and I squirm*
Him: Too much?
Me: A little, I'm not quite there.
Him: Ok.
TAP TAPTAPTAPTAPTAP WACK!
Me: Sooooo much better.

Flogger:

swish swish swish swish SWACK THUMP!
Me: Oewowowowoowowowoeoeoe you wrapped! * bouncing up and down in pain dance *
Him: * presses me to the wall with body and rubs wrapped area* I'm sorry that was me. Are you still ok?
Me: Yeah * resumes position*

We aren't still like this but it's how it was for a while until we figured things out. Until he knew my physical reactions without me saying a word. And I think our communication helped speed that recognition along. When he stopped having to verbally check in with me constantly to know where I was mentally and physically my trust grew. When he would land a blow a little off and would recognize the error himself and correct, my trust grew. When he not only planned a scene but was prepared and sure that things would work the way he wanted them to, my trust grew.

"Topping from the bottom" --- I can see how this may eventuate. You've given me something really important to think about here. Thank you.

 

[Our_Adventure]

Deep and sincere thanks to everyone who has responded here. I truly appreciate your honest, authenticity and respect.

My wife has asked.. Are there any movies or books that you would recommend that would assist her to get into the mind frame for this sort of exploration. We know of and are steering clear of 50 Shades... We are hoping for something more engaging and real and ... Well... Stimulating...

Any suggestions?

 

[MastersDelight]

I haven't read any books, but there are TONS, I'm sure others will be able to point you in the right direction. As far as movies, the only one I've seen/heard of is The Secretary. While a great movie, I don't think it really describes anything well.

When I said "scene publicly" I meant at play parties. We've scened at a large public party that didn't allow penetration or full nudity. And we've scened at private parties that were sex positive. Both we're fun.

As far as what it looked like all our scenes can vary. The one that was more restrictive we played on a spanking bench. I wore a thong to cover my bits, he pulled up my dress and used his hand, the belt, and a cane. It was our first public scene. It was loud from music, conversations, and other scenes going on at other stations. It was VERY hard to stay focused, as I usually hone in on his breathing and the sounds of his swings. I couldn't hear either, and felt a little disconnected. It was fun none the less and got our fet wet.

The sex positive parties are FUN. Most places have some equipment you can use, the group is much smaller, and there's play space that others can watch or rooms for privacy if that's preferred. Since Master has purchased floggers he's been practicing with those alot. We usually play on the cross or I pull up some wall in an area where no one risks getting his backswing. He'll switch between flogger, belt, cane, and punching. Liking pain I can easily go a couple hours in a scene, but being mindful that others would like to play too we keep it under an hour. For aftercare I like to have him close. We usually move to an available bed, either public or in a private room and I get my cuddles and reassurance. Before I come down we usually fuck, it helps us both reconnect and in my mind it solidifies his claim on me, especially if others watch. But I'm a bit of an exhibitionist.

This might have been more than you were asking for. If it was I'm sorry. If not, I'm always happy to answer further questions.

 

[Our_Adventure]

I haven't read any books, but there are TONS, I'm sure others will be able to point you in the right direction. As far as movies, the only one I've seen/heard of is The Secretary. While a great movie, I don't think it really describes anything well.

When I said "scene publicly" I meant at play parties. We've scened at a large public party that didn't allow penetration or full nudity. And we've scened at private parties that were sex positive. Both we're fun.

As far as what it looked like all our scenes can vary. The one that was more restrictive we played on a spanking bench. I wore a thong to cover my bits, he pulled up my dress and used his hand, the belt, and a cane. It was our first public scene. It was loud from music, conversations, and other scenes going on at other stations. It was VERY hard to stay focused, as I usually hone in on his breathing and the sounds of his swings. I couldn't hear either, and felt a little disconnected. It was fun none the less and got our fet wet.

The sex positive parties are FUN. Most places have some equipment you can use, the group is much smaller, and there's play space that others can watch or rooms for privacy if that's preferred. Since Master has purchased floggers he's been practicing with those alot. We usually play on the cross or I pull up some wall in an area where no one risks getting his backswing. He'll switch between flogger, belt, cane, and punching. Liking pain I can easily go a couple hours in a scene, but being mindful that others would like to play too we keep it under an hour. For aftercare I like to have him close. We usually move to an available bed, either public or in a private room and I get my cuddles and reassurance. Before I come down we usually fuck, it helps us both reconnect and in my mind it solidifies his claim on me, especially if others watch. But I'm a bit of an exhibitionist.

This might have been more than you were asking for. If it was I'm sorry. If not, I'm always happy to answer further questions.

No not at all. Please don't apologize. I really appreciate your response.

Where would we find a scene party? Or a sexy positive party? Certainly swingers clubs rarely have "scenes", in my experience.

 

[MastersDelight]

No not at all. Please don't apologize. I really appreciate your response.

Where would we find a scene party? Or a sexy positive party? Certainly swingers clubs rarely have "scenes", in my experience.

That part is a little more difficult. We joined Fetlife and was able to find and attend a few munches. That's how we found out about the first, more restrictive party that happens once a month. After a few months of making friends and legitimizing ourselves in the local community, we received invites for the private parties.

However, fetlife is now an invite only site, making things difficult for anyone new.

 

[LizVegas79]

If you've already made you mutual lists of Do's and Don't's that's huge and I would suggest not spending too much more time on "communication" and sticking your toes in the water to get your feet wet ASAP.

Your dom/sub relationship will evolve with experience, not talking about it.

Also, one thing you may want to consider in the beginning to get things started is a role play, such as a bank teller working late when there's a bank robbery, or maybe a husband who owes someone money and can't pay it so he sends his wife. Just an idea.

You're on a fun adventure! Be sure to keep us up to date!

 

[Miles Long]

If you've already made you mutual lists of Do's and Don't's that's huge and I would suggest not spending too much more time on "communication" and sticking your toes in the water to get your feet wet ASAP.

Your dom/sub relationship will evolve with experience, not talking about it.

Also, one thing you may want to consider in the beginning to get things started is a role play, such as a bank teller working late when there's a bank robbery, or maybe a husband who owes someone money and can't pay it so he sends his wife. Just an idea.

You're on a fun adventure! Be sure to keep us up to date!

Sangeth the King: "A little less conversation, a little more action!"

 

[SpunThings]

That part is a little more difficult. We joined Fetlife and was able to find and attend a few munches. That's how we found out about the first, more restrictive party that happens once a month. After a few months of making friends and legitimizing ourselves in the local community, we received invites for the private parties.

However, fetlife is now an invite only site, making things difficult for anyone new.

I think they implemented a text verification system as another option.

 

[MastersDelight]

I think they implemented a text verification system as another option.

They did! Just tried it, I'm glad.

 

[Our_Adventure]

That part is a little more difficult. We joined Fetlife and was able to find and attend a few munches. That's how we found out about the first, more restrictive party that happens once a month. After a few months of making friends and legitimizing ourselves in the local community, we received invites for the private parties.

However, fetlife is now an invite only site, making things difficult for anyone new.

Maybe a silly question... But what's a "munch?"

 

[MastersDelight]

Maybe a silly question... But what's a "munch?"

A munch is a gathering of kinsters in a non kinky setting, usually put on by local group or community leaders. The one we frequent it's at a bar with a live band and REALLY good food. It gives me people a chance to get into the community and make friends with their clothes on. It's less intimidating for newbies and how you get to know folks so you can get invited to parties.

 

[Our_Adventure]

A munch is a gathering of kinsters in a non kinky setting, usually put on by local group or community leaders. The one we frequent it's at a bar with a live band and REALLY good food. It gives me people a chance to get into the community and make friends with their clothes on. It's less intimidating for newbies and how you get to know folks so you can get invited to parties.

Thanks for that!

 

[Duracell10]

This is a great thread for those that are still learning as I am. I have expectations about how I want my woman to act, but I find it easier to go with it, if I know what the boundaries are. It also makes it more fun to push them slightly.

 

[Our_Adventure]

This is a great thread for those that are still learning as I am. I have expectations about how I want my woman to act, but I find it easier to go with it, if I know what the boundaries are. It also makes it more fun to push them slightly.

Agreed. What's an example of slightly pushing them?

 

[MastersDelight]

Agreed. What's an example of slightly pushing them?

It's just compromising. She absolutely says no to anal sex. You ask if she will allow you to anal train her using fingers, plugs, toys etc. Implementing a reward for progress.