Help!

[Silhouette_Saloon]

Situation: My boyfriend has decided to cut off all sexual play. Before I would stroke him through his pants and he was ok with it. "I want to go to heaven". So because his religion cannot do those sorts of things, bye bye pleasure. At first I was extremely upset about this but now I have learned to accept it. I have a feeling I was with him for pleasure anyways, and now we can focus more on the relationship.

So here is my question: Besides kissing, what can I do to add a little spice to our relationship? Without involving genitals...

 

[kindashy]

What religion is that?

Another thing. If he does not want any sexual play done to him, that is his option. You, on the other hand, still have a choice. Unless... see my first question.

 

[PertPerth]

I have friends who were the same - they would only hold hands. It was very clear that they were boyfriend and girlfriend by their body language and the way they'd talk to each other - and about each other. But there was never any sex/touching before they were married last year.

My suggestion would be to play trust games. Examples :
- Blind-fold your boyfriend and take him for a walk through the park/bush (maybe for a picnic somewhere?)
- Blind-fold and feed him different foods - maybe try to make a guessing game out of it?

If I think of any more I'll add them here.

The other thing is being open! As a woman, I find honesty and openness extremely intimate (not sure if I worded that properly). Any guy who can talk about his dreams, feelings, fears etc wins my heart every time. Try to get him to open up to you mentally and emotionally in stead of physically.

You could also try someing as a couple - like dance classes.

I hope this helps
~Pert

 

[subwannabe]

You sound young. Are you absolutely sure you want to deal with this? It doesn't seem to me that you are both on the same page. You are probably too young to understand that in the long run, this guy will most likely not be your life companion. So, if that is the case, is it really worth wasting your time on this person (as a boyfriend)? I could see if you both shared the same values and both strongly felt that you would be together forever but this does not seem to be the case. It is my humble and personal opinion that you should just be friends with this person and find a boyfriend where you can express yourself and not have to abide by another's beliefs that don't necessarily mirror yours.

 

[FurryFury]

Situation: My boyfriend has decided to cut off all sexual play. Before I would stroke him through his pants and he was ok with it. "I want to go to heaven". So because his religion cannot do those sorts of things, bye bye pleasure. At first I was extremely upset about this but now I have learned to accept it. I have a feeling I was with him for pleasure anyways, and now we can focus more on the relationship.

So here is my question: Besides kissing, what can I do to add a little spice to our relationship? Without involving genitals...

This would be a deal breaker for me.

I don't understand people so uptight and so into whatever religion that they deny themselves pleasure because of it.

That said, the most potent sex organ is the brain which means there is much you can do that isn't physical at all.

Good luck.

 

[Javagirl]

Are you religious?

If so, then being on this Board would be considered a mortal sin? According to the Christian Right, this place is full of sinners and harlots ha!

That's total bullshit. So he was ok with playing around and now all of a sudden he found his religion again?

Honey, you don't get to Heaven by stroking or not stroking a cock. If anything, I always felt like I was on my way to heaven...heavenly bliss that was when I was stroking or sucking cock mmm HA!

It's your boyfriend's right to practice his religion but it's your choice to engage in pleasure... if I were you and you want some pleasure in your life, you might want to consider dating someone else!

 

[Javagirl]

Subwannabe, I totally agree

I was thinking the same thing Subwannabe--she sounds young and not sure.

Also, for the record I'm a Catholic girl gone bad and the first guy who ever went down on me was a corrupt Mormon boy in high school and the first guy I had sex with was an older, bad boy Irish Catholic soccer player from a big family HA!

I also have another story like that (which I have blocked from my memory): I fooled around with this guy in my early 20s and he would do EVERYTHING but have sex with me because it was "against his religion." It was ok for me to suck him and for him to go down on me but God forbid we should engage in the actual act of penetration. He was a big hypocrite. Oh yeah, and then there was the married guy I had a fling with (another bad Catholic) who told me I should go to confession to absolve my sins--yeah, fuck that! I don't think so!