help

[Kitten1985]

Simply put i need help. i still so new to all of this. i have read everything given to me, its all so much to take in. i dont have a mentor and i am starting to think that for me to fully understand this world and who i am i will need one. This is where i need help. i dont know where to look honestly. i know the questions i want to ask, and what i am looking for but i dont know how to go about it.

i have been speaking with a Dom for a bit now, i had a strong attachment for him. He was a good friend, but he has a sub now and is happy. i feel lost and alone now. i dont have anyone to talk to. i feel empty and cant seem to find the one thing to fill that hole.

i need someone who is willing to be my friend first, we need to be able to establish trust before i can say "yes" too many hurts in my short time on this earth to be fully trusting in the beginning.

If you think you can help me please speak up. i could use any advice you might have. Thank you so much.

Ever Curious
Kitten

 

[DarkSteven]

You have a PM.

 

[tracerbullet]

Sent yo a PM

 

[boobsqueeezer]

When in doubt, ask....and people here would be more than willing to help!

And if you are comfortable the questions if put in public will have more answers and will give you more insight into yourself and the 'true you'.

Asking in public would also help some others sailing on the same boat as you do!

--
Boobsqueeezer
Online Oriental Master of East (India)

 

[Kitten1985]

You know maybe I havent been clear in what is needed here. Maybe I am giving off the wrong signals...so many maybes and not enough answers.

I will tell you up front now, if you are looking for a slave I am not it and move on. If you are looking for experience keep going b/c I dont have that either. If you are a poser, a freak, or just down right are a liar keep walking b/c I wont deal with that either.

Let me spell it out for you. I AM ONLY LOOKING FOR A FRIEND NOW. Once that is established we will see where it goes from there. I will not jump in head first just b/c you told me you were a Dom. I will not put up with demands and commands till trust is established, so please dont try.

If you have rude comment keep them to yourselves b/c honestly I dont care. I came here b/c I had no idea what I was looking for, b/c I had feelings and thoughts that normal people do not have so I wanted to explore them and honestly I am sick and tired of the snobbery and harassing statements.

I know that from this post I dont seem much of a sub but for god's sake look around you atleast I have my head screwed on straight. If you think you have the patients and can be honest, if you have the will and strength to be my friend and one day tame me then by all means please send me a tell. If not then by all means keep walking I promise you wont hurt my feelings if you dont write.

::Sigh:: I hope I havent scared every man off now. ::Shurgs:: if so then this isnt the place for me anyhow. To everyone else Good Luck and Happy Hunting.

Kitten

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I am sorry you are discovering the trolls and wanna-bes, the general chaff that responds every time someone posts an add in this section.

I will make a suggestion though, if you are wanting to learn more come over to the BDSM Cafe and the BDSM Talk part of the forums.

Join in the discussions, read the posts, and learn. We welcome newcomers with honest questions and a desire to learn. I promise we don't bite (well, not without consent at least )

The Cafe typically contains the fluff and personal interest type threads, while the Talk contains the more on-topic threads.

Now I will warn you that we do not suffer fools gladly, and can be a bit terse at times to idiocy, however most of those come from responding to a poster's derogatory remarks or to posts which show a complete lack of reality in their concept of what a BDSM relationship should be.

As for finding someone, I will steal a quote used in one of the active threads over there right now:

If you want a car, it's easy to find ...
If you want a blue car, it gets a smidge more difficult to find ...
If you want a blue Chevy, it gets a little more difficult to find ...
If you want a blue Chevy with less than 70,000 miles on it, even more difficult to find ...
If you want a blue Chevy with less than 70k miles on it, with power windows, power and heated seats, 5 disk cd changer, and all the other bells and whistles ... it's nearly impossible to find.

Same with finding a relationship
If you want a man/woman - relatively easy to find
If you want one that is into bondage (or other kink) gets more difficult to find
If you want one that is into D/s and BDSM more than just as a 'weekend warrior,' it gets a lot more difficult to find.

So, come over, join in the conversations, make some friends, learn, and continue your search.

Good luck, and I hope to see you posting more.

 

[Kitten1985]

Thank you..

so much TNRkitect2b for letting me know that, yes I think I might join you over there and see how it goes.

 

[Lords_skyfire]

Kitten,

The advice that TNRkitect2b gave you is right on! I have always found the posters on the BDSM threads here to be intelligent, respectful, and helpful; probably the polar opposite of what kind of responses you may be receiving now.

Prior to meeting my Lord I created a thread similiar to yours, searching for a mentor. Most people who responded didn't read what I wrote either and it was pretty discouraging to see so many try to immediately dominate me. I'm sure I didn't seem like a sub to them. And I wasn't.

Don't let anyone ever tell you you're not a sub. Only you can decide that for yourself. Prior to meeting my Lord I didn't feel very submissive. But then again, I hadn't met Him yet. I think you're doing exactly the right thing in seeking an honest, patient, and trustworthy Dominant to mentor you. I wish I could do more for you but just know that there ARE people out there who can be good, patient mentors and friends.

Best of luck my friend,
skyfire

 

[DarkSteven]

Kitten, let me add my own thoughts.

1. A Dom is responsible for his submissive. That means that he must consider what is best for her, as well as what he himself wants. He is responsible for her wellbeing and emotionally must care for her. No way can you expect that from a man whose first line is "Kneel to me, slut" to all prospective submissives. In other words, that man is not a Dominant.

2. I believe that every submissive has certain obligations to themselves, to the lifestyle itself, and to their current or prospective Dominant. Specifically, treat others with respect if they treat you with respect. And consider yourself as something of value, and act accordingly.

3. You may want to consider being mentored by a couple. You can see D/s dynamics in action, and there's no pressure for a relationship.

That said, I will be happy to mentor you to the best of my ability should you so choose.

 

[kinkydreams667]

Hi Kitten,

As you wrote, Lets be friends first and explore common interests.

 

[xplorz]

You know maybe I havent been clear in what is needed here. Maybe I am giving off the wrong signals...so many maybes and not enough answers.

I will tell you up front now, if you are looking for a slave I am not it and move on. If you are looking for experience keep going b/c I dont have that either. If you are a poser, a freak, or just down right are a liar keep walking b/c I wont deal with that either.

Let me spell it out for you. I AM ONLY LOOKING FOR A FRIEND NOW. Once that is established we will see where it goes from there. I will not jump in head first just b/c you told me you were a Dom. I will not put up with demands and commands till trust is established, so please dont try.

If you have rude comment keep them to yourselves b/c honestly I dont care. I came here b/c I had no idea what I was looking for, b/c I had feelings and thoughts that normal people do not have so I wanted to explore them and honestly I am sick and tired of the snobbery and harassing statements.

I know that from this post I dont seem much of a sub but for god's sake look around you atleast I have my head screwed on straight. If you think you have the patients and can be honest, if you have the will and strength to be my friend and one day tame me then by all means please send me a tell. If not then by all means keep walking I promise you wont hurt my feelings if you dont write.

::Sigh:: I hope I havent scared every man off now. ::Shurgs:: if so then this isnt the place for me anyhow. To everyone else Good Luck and Happy Hunting.

Kitten

Hello Kitten,

I understand your frustration - and you certainly have not scared me. I have sent details in my PM. I look forward to chatting with you soon.

 

[Prince Albert]

Guys look at her profile!!! Last activity was in 2007!!!!!

 

[Cfgb170]

Fuck me.....2007?! Really?!