Help with Medical Questionnaire

[glynndah]

Over Thanksgiving I managed to heal a cut on my index finger with a small sliver of glass left in it. The piece has managed to migrate from the tip of my finger to the side where my pencil, computer mouse, keys on this keyboard, buttons on my jeans and just about everything else need to come into contact to work properly. I went to the doctor yesterday. H, of course, was not in and the nurse-practitioners were all in favor of "just letting it alone". When I explained the problem PAIN!, glass in finger, they referred me to an orthopedic surgeon.

Well, today I got their questionnaire (medical intake form) in the mail. Along with all the standard questions: allergies, family history, howdja do such a stupid stunt, etc., there was one that took me aback, as it were. The next question after "Are you pregnant?" was "What are your current living conditions?"

I've thought of several responses: a state of constant euphoria; around the corner and across the street from crazy; rural; a white-trash shangri-la; etc. Care to contribute? The best answer will be used for the questionnaire.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Tell them you live in a crack house filled with broken glass and need it removed ASAP. That should get their attention

 

[rgraham666]

Put what I put down for nosy inappropriate questions.

"None of your fucking business!"

 

[oggbashan]

Worse than the IRS assume; better than most sub-saharan Africans.

Og

 

[TheOlderGuy]

subsisting in a world gone mad?

 

[R. Richard]

"What are your current living conditions?"
I am being driven mad by the pain of a sliver of glass embedded in my finger, help!

 

[glynndah]

"What are your current living conditions?"
I am being driven mad by the pain of a sliver of glass embedded in my finger, help!

ooh, I like this one

 

[SweetPrettyAss]

I'm still alive, no thanks to you.

 

[glynndah]

I'm still alive, no thanks to you.

I haven't seen the ortho guy yet. The appointment's not until mid January. But that could work for the follow-up, though.

 

[SeaCat]

Current Living Conditions?

In so much pain that even sex is not attractive, not to mention wondering why you want to know.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

Their question reminds me of a statement often seen on our medical reports. Several of the medications we use in dealing with cancer are highly toxic to breast feeding children.

Often on the top of reports we have a little statement. "Not Pregnant, Not Lactating."

I never really thought about this until one of my patients pointed it out to me. He told me that his wife would be happy to see this.

I had a smile on my face for the rest of the day.

Cat

 

[glynndah]

I used to work in a shelter care facility where the first line on the accident forms was "When did the patient die?"

 

[sincerely_helene]

... The piece has managed to migrate from the tip of my finger to the side where my pencil,...

Just write a series of scribbles.

 

[rgraham666]

Hey helene. *HUGS*

Nice to see you.

 

[sincerely_helene]

Hey helene. *HUGS*

Nice to see you.

Ditto to you, Rob!

Merriest of Merrys.

 

[rgraham666]

Ditto to you, Rob!

Merriest of Merrys.

And to you. *HUGS*