help wanted

[kat1406]

Hi. I'm new to this site, and also new to the bdsm idea. I would like to hear from men who like to dominate women, but who also adore women.. i guess that sounds kind of confused.. but i have read quite a bit. I am not interested in men who want to merely humiliate women ( I had a guy tell me - online- he wanted to defecate in my mouth). however if the humiliation is part of an appropriate punishment, that''s a different story altogether. I hope you will understand more than i do. Pleaase contact me

 

[m wisdom]

I don't think you sound confused at all. I also have trouble understanding the whole humiliation thing. I'm only really happy when whoever I'm with is happy so I find humiliation counter productive. Unless the woman likes to be humiliated but then I lose my respect for her and that dosen't makes me happy.
I should just stop ramble now. If you like to talk, feel free to contact me.

 

[zukethecuke]

As with most areas of human emotions, it's a confusing subject because we have multiple, conflicting feelings.

I adore women, and because of I do I would be willing to dominate a woman who believed she needed or deserved to be dominated - just my way of giving her what she wants. If you sometimes feel that the only way you can 'earn' sexual fulfilment is to submit to a man and serve him, then it would be good for you to have a man who would demand your service at such times - and be flexible enough to have a more 'plain vanilla' relationship with you when your mood was different.

-Zuke

 

[MasterZee]

love and fuffilment

i too love women, and have to agree, that it's as much giving her what she wants as what i want. i enjoy giving and recieving pleasure, but if that persons "pleasure" is about being controlled, or called names, or teased until she begs for release, then if i can provide that and enjoy it myself too it's a win-win

MZ

 

[RawHumor]

I think that you put it quite well. On the one hand, humiliation can be a release for some submissives... a way of letting it all go.

On the other hand, everyone must set their own limits, and scat (poo games) is beyond the realm of almost everyone.

You have to be careful with people online who call themselves dominants, because, as you seem to have found, a lot of men who say that they enjoy dominating women are actually only abusive assholes who want to belittle women to make themselves feel better. BDSM isn't about that.

It is more than possible to adore, to almost worship the submissive that you are dominating, and even humiliating. That's part of the give and take of a bdsm relationship.

 

[bmw1080]

If the humiliation is the end in itself then imo it is a relationship that you should not be in. Humiliation should only be a part of an overall balanced Dom-sub relationship. It should not be the start and finish.

Nor should it be considered an intergral part of the relationship all the time. I do think that before you get to the humiliation stage there are a number of other scenarios that have been explored and developed.

As always, there does need to be pleasure for both partners in what is being done.

 

[shelleb4]

Just a female perspective here.
Look at the names that have offered to take you on. check out what they have posted, what stories they have written. You can tell a lot from reading posts and stories that were typed and submitted to lit before they came a running at your advert here.
take care, have fun, be safe.