Help plez ....

[FriskySeaDevil]

I posted this in the How-To forum, & was directed to try it here as well ... so here goes ...

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Ok ... I have thought of this & looked in all the relavent forums I could think to search in ... but I still have no good answer ...

Here is my question ... How does one begin to introduce one's partner into the delightfully interesting world of D/s?

Here is a little of the background to this question ... I was in a relationship a few years ago that started me down the highly erotic path of a true sub ... lasted for nearly 2 years ... & I lost Him to another ... I married a man that is a wonderful gentleman, but no matter how much we play, it's never enough. So I went & found the perfect man online for fun of all online & virtual styles... & we were talking one day about our likes & I mentioned that I thought he would make the best Dom (although he likes to switch to sub as well). But he's still too new to it all & I sooooooo miss being dominated by the right man. I have started to get him in the mindset to not ask for things, but to tell me to do ... as it is "His wish" for me... is there more I need to do or is that the best way to start him on his way to becoming a true Master?


Plez ... any insight would be MOST appreciated

Thanx in advance

 

[Mr Blonde]

And I like big tits and the soft drawl of a Southern Belle, but my current girlfriend has neither so I just do without.

Anyway, you've already made a life commitment to a partner so the first thing you need to do is talk to your current husband and discuss the status of your marriage. Many women end up in an open marriage and there will always be some online doms who are desperate enough to mess with married women.

Then someone like s'lara or AngelicAssassin will come along and refer you to extensive linkage on techniques to introduce BDSM into an existing relationship.

 

[s'lara]

i think we've covered this before and i'll repeat what's been said often.

Before you try and change your spouse into something you want, make sure he wants it as well. Ask him whether actively participating in BDSM activities is something he wishes to do. You both have needs in your relationship and as it appears to be mainly vanilla in nature, each of you has an equal right to be fulfilled in your union. Hopefully, he wants what you need.

That said, here is a link from our Library which deals specifically with an issue such as yours. Finally, i've also attached some links which may provide insight into your situation and how to handle it.

http://www.sexuality.org/l/subnet/vanilla.html
http://www.sexuality.org/l/subnet/unexpected.html

Good luck to you.

lara

 

[FriskySeaDevil]

Wonderful!

Thank you both so very much for your help ... I knew someone would hold the answer.

 

[Vixandra]

Sometimes, if you're lucky, your partner will understand that there's a part of you that they just don't 'get."
Perhaps a middle ground can be reached, if he does not want to join you on this path that calls to you so.

And don't say its not possible because I know it is- I'll be walking that path myself in 7 months time. Ie- finding someone to explore the dominant side of myself with for hubby has no interest in it. But he understands that it calls to me and is willing to let me explore it, within preset limits ie- no males, only females, etc. Which I'm okay with.

Talk with your husband- let him know what's going on and what your craving. Perhaps he's a closet Dom or will allow you to find a dominant or whatever floats your mutual boats.
The benefits of talking with him far out weigh the risks of not.