Help me explain to my girlfriend...

[Samuelx]

I need to make something clear to a young BBW I recently slept with. She's been my friend for about 3 years now and confessed that she's always liked me. Anyway, we hooked up three weeks ago. We've been doing it ever since. She's hot, and I like it !


By the way, she has known about my bisexuality ever since I first discovered it. She's such a kinky gal. We even tried anal sex ( her request) and it was fun for the both of us.


She asked me if I still liked men after sleeping with her.
I was shocked by that question. I told her that I liked her but nothing can change the fact that I like both sexes. She didn't seem to like that answer. She seems to think that anal sex is all there is in sexual relationships between men.



In other words, she thinks that if she gives me anal, this will keep me "satisfied" and take away my lust for men.


I tried explaining to her that there's a lot more to male-to-male sex and love than just anal sex. I like guys and I like girls. It's a person thing. It's not an ass thing. She doesn't want to hear it. She started yelling, then crying. She left. I feel like I did something wrong.


What should I do ?

 

[Recidiva]

The only thing you can do is tell people your truth.

They don't always listen and they don't always take it.

You said it and that's all you can do.

It's her choice to believe it or not.

 

[dizzylia]

It's her choice to believe it or not.

Unfortunately, that's all too true. I hope she thinks it through some more instead of going on believing she could "fix" you or something. For whatever reason, it sounds like she decided to feel insulted, but that's hardly your fault. She knew you were bi before she got involved.

 

[John Doe]

It's hard to say withut knowing more about her, but it could be that she's one of those who believe that bisexuality makes someone more likely to cheat, or more promiscuous in general. Or it could be an ego thing. Maybe she was hoping she was hot enough to fuck the gay out of you.

Anyway, the problem I think is trying to make sense of the nonsensical. Sometimes you just have to accept that some people are inexplicably ignorant, especially about certain things, and leave it at that. It's not pretty, but there it is.

What strikes me as particularly strange though, is she has been your friend for a while and she knew you were bi ever since you have known. I should think that under such circumstances she might be more understanding despite certain preconceptions and prejudices.

What can you do? Sadly, it seems there's not much more you can do except try to salvage your friendship somehow.

 

[CuriousNiceGuy]

Umm..I think something's wrong with her...
You didn't do ANYTHING bad.If being honest to a person you're close to, means you are bad, then you are..

First of all, did she show any signs of uneasiness about your sexuality all this time?
Secondly, are you sure you didn't make her misunderstand something with your answer?
Like:"Yeah, I still sleep with men." and she got the feeling that you cheat on her....I dunno..
Weird reaction...

 

[thewantonscribe]

The truth is....

The truth is that from what you told us you did everything you could. If she was aware of your bi-sexuality before than it should not change. You told her the truth, you two had sex. It sounds like maybe she thought it meant more than what you intended. However, in the long run you have no control how people decide to feel. You do not make them feel a certain way. I know another said this in an answer as well...she decided to be upset and/or not believe you. All you can do is make the best of it. But I do believe that sex changes a friendship for it has happened to me before. I wish you the best in trying to relieve the tension.

 

[DarKirby]

I just want to say that I'm truly sorry. I agree with everyone here, you did nothing wrong. I'm sorta questioning her motives for making a friendship into a sexual relationship if she got so upset over your still being bi, but since I don't know her, that's not really my place. Just think about if she's more interested in proving something to herself than in having a caring, supporting relationship.

 

[Samuelx]

I tried to talk to her about it. She doesn't want to talk. She says that she still wants to be friends but she needs some time. All I can do is wait. Oh, well. Anyway, thanks for your advice, guys. Y'all are the best !!!

 

[Nordic man]

yes some people think that if the sex is good enough you will come over to the other side.. lol Yes attraction is much more then anal or oral sex, if you fall for someone, you fall for them, doesn't matter what their sex may be. She took you anally and she thought that would 'cure" you , maybe your more of a bi-sexual top, for one thing..

Be honest with her and if she can't accept it, then the relationship falls away or changes. Some relationships are for but a season, others for years others a lifetime.. People come and go in ones life. Be honest and be kind..


Aloha