Help me enjoy anal!

[TearsAtBedtime]

Ok, I asked on here a few weeks back about the best way to start anal play with my husband (me receiving) as it was something I was curious about and DP is a major fantasy for me.

I got some great advice and links to relevant threads and we got started on what we hoped would be a new sexy adventure.

Seems I don't really like having anything up there and we haven't gone further than a finger yet. Just feels weird and uncomfortable. What could we be doing wrong and how can I make it a better experience? I want to give this a proper go and get my fantasy!

 

[subme01]

Ok, some ideas, though I'm no authority on the subject and I enjoy anal sex without any difficulty.

Don't start into sex with a quick warm up and then heading straight for the anus, you'll be wound up and tense with the expectation of it, especially as you haven't enjoyed yourself so far. If you have a vibrator, keep it on low and let your partner hold it gently against your anus while he's giving you oral. Don't attempt to insert it, just get used to the sensation. If you don't have a vibrator, then get him to use his finger in the same way he stimulates your clit. Again, don't insert. When you start to get used to the sensation of the pressure (after a couple of sessions) then try again once you're fully sitmulated (for preference after an orgasm or two) and go again with gentle insertion, perhaps of his finger again. Make sure he's stimulating somewhere else too(nipples, clit, using other hand to finger you), so you're not totally focused on one sensation.

Two absolutes: 1 SLOW, 2 lube, lube, lube and more lube.

I'm sure there'll be others with ideas to help you get started. Good luck, relax and keep it FUN!

 

[TearsAtBedtime]

Good advice! Thank you!

 

[snowcouple4play]

Use a silicone based lube like Wet or ID Millenium, and lots of it. Also try the woman on top position.
It seems to work the best for us.

 

[SweetErika]

If everything's good on the lube front (and I agree silicone is the best!), then it's probably a matter of being sufficiently aroused and relaxed. You could try teasing until you're beyond worked up, although many people also find having at least one orgasm prior to attempting penetration brings on the relaxation. If you're capable of having more than one orgasm per session, you could come then get all worked up and finally try anal play.

Clitoral play during anal play/sex is also an important component for many women. For instance, I use our Hitachi Magic Wand w/ the g-spot attachment on myself before and during anal sex. That provides a lot of pleasure and enough of a distraction to keep me from thinking about my ass and tensing up. Then, once we really get into our groove (I always take charge of the penetration and initial movement, then let him take over slooooowly, once I'm totally relaxed), it's fun to slip the toy inside for vaginal and g-spot stimulation.

That's sex, but you could certainly apply the same principles to manual stimulation by stimulating your clit and making sure you control the penetration by pushing against his finger at a pace you're comfortable with. Remember to bear down to relax those muscles, breathe and communicate with your partner. If something is painful, stop and try some new techniques.

A lot of this is simply trial and error, although there are certainly some people who just don't enjoy anal stimulation, regardless of how they do it or how skilled they and their partner may be.

 

[Analover207]

Stop with all the bogus romance. Lots of lube, have him pin you down and take your butthole at will. Until you like it. You'll like the feel of being taken n a rectum full of warm cum. Enjoy!

 

[laozmo2]

Get a LUBE LAUNCHER from Amazon.com ($5.00) to get lube up inside her anus.

Caress, rub, kiss and lick her anus to relax it.

When you attempt to penetrate the anus she should bear down like she was having a bowel movement. It opens up the sphincter muscle and makes entry much easier and enjoyable.

Go slow and allow her time to adjust to each inch as it enters her.

Follow her lead. She knows whats comfortable.

 

[Seamen]

1. You can never have too much lube, and
2. Try to get comfortable with it in private first ... watch a lot of porn, read some nice erotica, and play with yourself. That's how I was initiated; get turned on so much that anything and everything will feel good (and kinky

 

[Ohiorob]

Learning to accept anal in private can be an excellent idea for anyone who enjoys pleasuring themselves. It lets you learn how it feels.... and makes it easier to relax with a partner. Alone, you can also learn a little about your limits and stretching so you have confidence and knowledge of what feelings to expect when including a partner.

A small buttplug or dildo (1-2 finger size) with lots of lube would be very helpful alone.

With partner, relaxation is critical. Prior orgasm(s), full body intimate massage, extensive oral (vag and anal) can all be very helpfull building up to anal exploration. Learn to enjoy the feeling of an external anus massage without attempting pentration.

Let your goal be anal pleasure....not entry....and entry will follow more easily over time. Good luck

 

[Olive Hizklosoff]

Some of the best sex ever!!

I believe anal sex has a very strong psychological component and an equally strong physical component. Psychologically, it may seem to be demeaning, that the receiver is being cruelly dominated, or too submissive. The physical component can be equally negative. There are those people who firmly believe that it’s an exit not an entrance, or it’s unnatural, or it’s always painful.

In fact, the anus has a multitude of nerve endings that can make anal sex feel extremely pleasurable. For its usual use, the anus can feel good. It’s certainly up to the giver to be kind and gentle in his, or her, efforts. A complete understanding of the mechanics of the anus is really important. It is not self-lubricating, so it’s absolutely incumbent on both parties to make sure there’s tons of lube around. And force is not an option.

Because of the taboo nature of anal sex, my orgasms have been some of the strongest I’ve ever had. My wife would tell you the same thing. While I’m fucking her ass, she’s beating the hell out of her clit. The result is earth-shattering. When she’s giving me a blowjob and I’ve got a dildo, buttplug, or a couple of her fingers in my ass, my orgasm is virtually beyond description and it ripples through my entire body.

No pun intended but, the bottom line is, when done right, anal sex is phenomenal.

 

[Iamnotthe1]

Ok, I asked on here a few weeks back about the best way to start anal play with my husband (me receiving) as it was something I was curious about and DP is a major fantasy for me.

I got some great advice and links to relevant threads and we got started on what we hoped would be a new sexy adventure.

Seems I don't really like having anything up there and we haven't gone further than a finger yet. Just feels weird and uncomfortable. What could we be doing wrong and how can I make it a better experience? I want to give this a proper go and get my fantasy!

I never had anal with my husband cuz he didn't like it and I never new much about it. After I divorced I started dating this man who introduced me to a side of sex that I never knew about. I'm not so sure I would have been interested had my husband all of a sudden wanted anal. It was my mind set. So I think you need to change the way you view sex for starters. Ya gotta think nasty, taboo stuff. Traditional is out the window and bad girl is the new thought. Have a few glasses of wine and just go for it. Shake your ass in his face and suck his balls. Give him a blow job and let him cum all over your boobs. Then work it up again and tell him to fuck your ass. I'm thinking that you don't need to think about it too much just enjoy the new sensation. If you are horny enough, it will go in and he will be pleased. It may take a while to learn to orgasm but it is worth it cuz then there is no going back. Be patient but stop thinking too much and just do it...

 

[sarel101]

Get a LUBE LAUNCHER from Amazon.com ($5.00) to get lube up inside her anus.

The lube launcher works well, but it is a glorified and severely overpriced plastic syringe. Get yourself some plastic Luer slip syringes, without the needles. You should be able to find them online for about $10-15 for 100. They come in a wide range of sizes. I have a box of 3ml/3cc size which is about 3/8" in diameter. Very easy to slide in even if you are not relaxed. I've used the 5ml/5cc size in the past & I'm guessing that they are about 1/2" in diameter, still easy to slip in and they hold more lube per shot. I got the smaller 3ml/3cc size when I was prepping an anal virgin.

Be sure to get the Luer slip, NOT the Luer lock. The lock ones are made to use with a threaded needle and have a different tip. I think the tips on the slip ones are easier to slide in your ass. Also, lube up the outside of the syringe as well.

Lots of lube aside, here are some other thoughts.

Start with just a finger for the first time or two. Rub the finger around the anus with some lube for awhile. Pushing on the sphincter a bit every once and awhile. Eventually just try the fingertip and work your way up from there. Start with your own fingers as you learn your body a bit. I wouldn't try his cock until you are comfortable with at least his thumb, or even two fingers.

Another thing that seems to work is timing your breathing with your anal contractions. Inhale slowly & deeply while contracting, and exhale while relaxing and pushing as if you were trying to have a bowel movement. Keep doing this for awhile as it helps you relax.

Once you have the timing down where you are pushing and relaxing when you exhale, he can time inserting on your exhales, slowly and a little bit a a time. No more than one knuckle at a time. Make him give you some time to continue breathing, contracting and relaxing before he goes in any deeper.

When it come time for the cock, I just push in a little bit of the tip and pull out for a few times to help stretch her a bit. Once I can get the entire head in, I stop and give her plenty of time to adjust before I try to go any deeper.

Also, make sure that he pulls his cock out slowly and gently for the first few times. Romoval can be just as painful as insertion.

 

[1shadow]

TearsAtBedtime, I have been around for a while and rarely post here but I have some thoughts for you.

1 start off in "Private". In the shower with soap on you bud is a great way to start. Gently rub you bud it in circles slowly and play with yourself.

2: make sure you are clean on the inside before you penetrate yourself, most important I feel. An enema while cleaning you on the inside, will also help stretch you some. Do not fill you insides with lots of water at first, start slow as your anal mussels are still tight, work up to it, it may take some time.

3: as stated above, lube and more lube

4: start small and slowly work up in size...first finger then thumb. Anal beads are a great way to start small and slowly move up

5: once you are comfortable with you doing yourself, let you partner know how you and what you like and then guide them through it, start small and work up to bigger.

Hope this helps you out...or "in" as the case may be.

 

[klippert]

This may or may not help

It all depends on your mood... I've thought about my response for a bit. I don't recall ever going into bed or for that matter into a sex situation know I would be fucking her ass.... don't get me wrong, it is always on my mind.

I found that every time we were hot and heavy...licking sucking and fucking, and she initiated the 'wanting' of anal. Their wasn't a set date and time.....we are going out to dinner, cumming home and butt fucking. We just rolled into great anal sex....

That's really my suggestion. Don't just wait all day knowing your going to go at it... Though it is a good idea too have lube near by at all times... like in the bed side table... hehe. Make it happen spontaneously.

One night, the now Mrsk, was riding my cock nice a slow. I was playing with her tight back hole.... When she starts pulling me out and making adjustments....replacing my finger with my cock. As she started pushing down, I knew what she wanted...I said straight away. Let me get some lube.... I didn't say 'are you sure'.....she wanted too lose her anal virginity then and there.

When I left the room, heading for the bathroom....I took off running, surprisingly I didn't smash into any furniture. I returned in a flash...lubed us up. She climbed back on...(suggestion #2: Girl on top...you can control the insertion).... needless to say...we had a great first anal for the now MrsK.

 

[abella117]

relax and oh yeah, plenty of lube

 

[Pictavia]

I find it interesting that a few folks have suggested the woman on top position being best. That didn't work for me too well. My own preference for relaxed insertion has been to lie with my hips over a pillow, raising my ass up slightly. All the lube advice above, of course, now goes without saying. I find being penetrated from that angle seems to relax muscles well and also seems to adjust internal organs into a better place. Sometimes the 'lie of the land' as regards internal organs has an effect.

Oh yes, and what place I am in my monthly cycle also has an impact. I'm assuming as the ovaries swell and subside over the month it can alter how things feel internally and what nerve complexes are 'hit.' Some of the best anal sex I've had has been while I'm having a period and have a tampon in place. I'm, again, assuming that when my partner is inside my ass the pressure through the wall pushes the tampon in my vagina against a g-spot, perhaps. That's my theory anyway.

 

[Tasty_GA_Honey]

Another position that works really well in the beginning is spooning -- both of you lying on your side with him behind you, leaving your hands (as well as his) free to stimulate your clit while he enters you from behind slowly.

This position allows you to start slowly with him teasing your ass with a well-lubed finger, followed by him applying pressure to your opening with the head of an equally well-lubed cock. This position also provides him a nice opportunity to leave kisses on your neck while he whispers words of encouragement in your ear.