Help, im new to this...

[Master_of_Pupets]

Help, im new to this whole BDSM thing and need some advice. My gf is more experienced at this than i am and i'd like some ideas that might work. Basicaly im trying to avoid looking like a fool because she wont even give any hints and i dont really know where to start, well i do have a couple ideas but other wise im open to sugestions.

 

[leeroy jenkins]

Help, im new to this whole BDSM thing and need some advice. My gf is more experienced at this than i am and i'd like some ideas that might work. Basicaly im trying to avoid looking like a fool because she wont even give any hints and i dont really know where to start, well i do have a couple ideas but other wise im open to sugestions.

Can you be a bit more specific?? I am sure we can give you the advice and suggestions if we know what your seeking, do you want advice with types of play?? My advice to you is start slow or whatever speed your comfortable with as a couple and then work from there. Other then that enjoy the journey because it could be a really long trip.

 

[chris9]

Hello Master_of_Pupets,

maybe you can start with giving your sub a check list to fill out, and filling out one yourself (you can find them online through google). Think about the stuff listed, what you would like to do, wouldn't want to do, have done, are curious about... Have her do the same. TALK. Make her explain why she likes the things she likes, why she won't do whatever.
It doesn't make any sense to try anything without having that basic information. I could suggest lying her over your lap for a good spanking. But then again there are some around here who do not like being spanked. Or who do not like pain at all.
Whatever you do, find out as much as possible about it to avoid any danger. After you try anything, get her to give you detailed feedback. You're the dominant partner, and if you want her to tell you what she likes, how she felt, she has to, and you have to make her. Communication is very important, and when you say that "she wont even give any hints" to me it sounds as if the communication is off. You might also want to look at a thread started by Marquis about communication rituals.

Anyways, be safe, enjoy the journey, talk, have fun.

 

[jadefirefly]

Here's a tip:

Don't engage in a damned thing until she DOES give you "hints".

A partner that won't discuss what s/he wants, likes, or wants to do to you is a partner that's only thinking of themselves and has no interest in playing fair and/or safely.

Until you know what's 'expected' of you, politely decline. Not giving hints isn't playing some sort of fun game, it's being selfish and childish.