Help from mums/moms [not incest related :D]

[wishfulthinking]

My step-mum refuses to see any of her friends and I've seen her crying a couple of time, because she just came home from the hospital with my cute new brother, but her milk hasn't come down [think that's the terminolgy].

What can I say to help, or shouldn't I say anything? To this point I've just sat with her briefly before work this morning rubbing her back as she held him and cried.

Hlep!

edited to add: she is very sensitive, because she is a first time/later in life mum.

 

[cloudy]

It sounds like post-partum depression, Wishful. Not much you can do, really, besides let her know you're there for her, and urge her to seek help if it drags on, or gets worse.

Most of the time, they'll get over it by themselves, but its really, really tough for them while they're there.

I wish I could be of more help.

 

[doormouse]

Massaging the breast and nipple can stimulate the milk ducts.

I'd tell her to see a doctor if she wants to breastfeed.
Otherwise, message Lord DragonsWing who is a nurse and could probably help you more.

Best of luck!

 

[minsue]

I've no advice. Just stopping in with a

 

[lucky-E-leven]

For help with any nursing questions, the La Leche League website is a great resource. I know you're not in the U.S. but there should be some good information on the website as well as some kind of contact numbers for any specific questions you may have.

The baby blues, also known as Post Partum Depression, is common in new mothers regardless of age or number of previous children. There are a few sections here on nursing during this time as well.

My Web MD offers several different links to websites specializing in post partum difficulties and there are also International Telephone numbers here that might help.

Good luck, wishful. It's a tough road for some, but being there for her and keeping a close eye on her progress or further slipping is the first step. She's lucky to have you and I'm sending hugs and well wishes to all of you. Congratulations on your new baby brother.

~lucky

p.s. I never got the baby blues, but initial difficulty with nursing was almost my complete undoing. Perhaps if you can find a way to help her get that settled the rest will fall into place. It did for me.

 

[neonlyte]

Wishful
keep as discrete a close eye as possible. I have personal knowledge of the severity of Post Partum Depression, if it bites deep your step-mum will need professional help, I sincerely hope it does not come to that.

My wife's PPD was the most frightening thing I ever witnessed, I say this not to put fears into you head but to advise. Because PPD is not uncommon there is a convention that the problem will resolve itself, this is not always the case, occassionally it can spiral out of control. My wife's developed out not being able to breast feed. That three month period is entirely blanked from her mind, for the rest of the family and friends who stayed with her 24 hours a day it was as close to hell as we ever wish to experience.

Good luck, I hope step-mum's is a temporary problem and soon forgotten.

 

[Kiss Me]

Wishful....... we have some really good systems in place now especially in the larger cities and nearly all free. Before leaving hospital your step mother should have been told about the local community health centre and likely has an appointment organised, they like to come to your house here for the one week check and then book you in to come to their centre weekly after that. They are there for baby but also the mother and can be vital in helping pick up signs of problems and depressions. Most are usually lactation consultants and should be able to help her a lot.

Also the local Nursing Mothers would be incredibly helpful, I've lost count of the number of phone calls I made when I was having problems with feeding. They are often far more helpful than doctors since their knowledge is much more specific.

Becoming a mother is one of the most stressful things we go through in life and often our ideals and dreams aren't the same when babies become reality.
Just try to be as supportive as you can and hopefully this stage passes for her.

 

[Guest]

My step-mum refuses to see any of her friends and I've seen her crying a couple of time, because she just came home from the hospital with my cute new brother, but her milk hasn't come down [think that's the terminolgy].

What can I say to help, or shouldn't I say anything? To this point I've just sat with her briefly before work this morning rubbing her back as she held him and cried.

Hlep!

edited to add: she is very sensitive, because she is a first time/later in life mum.

I'll echo what everyone has said so far.

She does need someone with her (even though she doesn't want that) to help her with laundry, meals, etc. so she can devote all her time to the baby.

For a few days after the birth new moms secrete colostrum - a thick, antibody-enriched pre-milk that is perfect for her baby. Then the real milk comes in, and the longer and more vigorously the baby nurses, the quicker (and in greater quantity) the milk will be produced.

Problems in milk production can include her exhausted state, not getting enough liquids, too stressed to relax, and the baby not latching on properly.

Check the La Leche link Lucky provided - there must be a group nearby to help.

Tears are very normal after delivery. It takes months for your body's hormonal level to return to some kind of normalcy. (Too many tears could be a sign of depression.)

Help her with the housework - give her love and attention. Sounds as if you're doing the right things already.

 

[wishfulthinking]

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyoul you guys!

She called the australian breast feeding council or assoc [not too sure!], and they put her on to a counsellor. It seems she wasn't breast feeding long enough for the baby to get the fatty part [?]. Everything they told her was completely opposite to what the doctors said. It makes me think that public hospitals probably have a better information network for new mums than private hospitals, who tried to put a bandaid on the situation and told her to use ANY formula.

But yes, the pressure and stress she felt didn't help. And I think it could have so very easily spiralled into depression or something!

 

[minsue]

I'm so glad she got the help and information she needs! I'd say tell her we're all pulling for her, but considering the context of the site I'm not sure that would be helpful for a mother's state of mind.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Wonderful news Wishful!

You're a good step-daughter. Now how good of a big sister are ya gonna be? Teach him all the dirty words. And make sure he knows how to find Lit.



~lucky

 

[Guest]

Wonderful news!

That is wonderful to hear - so glad she has you and an expert now to help!

A bit about breastfeeding - the baby starts nursing and gets milk immediately. Then after a time, the richer milk lets down (moms can feel the sensation quite well). The first part quenches thirst, the next part is the real food for the baby.

If the baby doesn't nurse long enough the milk won't let down properly and production won't build up. The longer baby drinks the more milk your body will produce. It's amazing, really.

And most hospitals aren't equipped to deal with helping new mothers nurse. I remember friends of ours being sent home with free formula, lots of coupons, etc.

Both our children were born at a birth center where there were experts in nutrition and nursing available on staff. And after two days the nursing consultant visited our home. She also recommended a group that met and I attended that for several weeks.

It isn't a natural skill; it must be learned. But it's so much better for the baby!

Congratulations again! Give your step-mom a thumbs-up - tell her we're all thinking about her!