help build characters in a d/s relationship

[elin]

Greetings everyone,

I'm working on a story, which is focused on psychological aspects of BDSM. Any insight from people who are knowledgeable on the subject or just have an idea or two to share would be very much appreciated.
I myself don't know very much on the subject. Quit writing it, you say, and you might be right, but let me explain first.
My story is a piece of fan fiction, set in the Star Trek universe. The character is an obvious sub; the only way I can make his sexuality believable is to put emphasis on the dimension of submission/dominance. (The character is a Vorta, for those who remember Deep Space 9 series).
He is manipulative and holds a position of power, but his very purpose of being is to serve and please his gods (another alien species). He can't be paired with one of them (Founders), because they detest anyone who's not of their species. He has to be paired with another humanoid, which will consequently be less powerful than him in the "real" world. How do I make this work?
I'm sure my protagonist would enjoy giving up control, but he's not really aware of that, and is also inexperienced sexually. That, by the way, makes him curious, not insecure (he's not human, remember).
What would it take for his dom-to-be to seduce him?
As I said, that and any other idea would be really helpful.

 

[thenry]

The classic answer: physical dominance with no chance of escape. Your answer: unarguable claim to the dominant species/standin. If the sub believes the "other" to belong to the dom, the he will submit. The answer to either exhibits the fact that your story is worth reading.

Don't ask: write.

 

[Weird Harold]

Greetings everyone,

I'm working on a story, which is focused on psychological aspects of BDSM. Any insight from people who are knowledgeable on the subject or just have an idea or two to share would be very much appreciated.

The people who know the psychological aspects of BDSM best hang out in the BDSM forum.

However, I don't know that you need a "BDSM" theme for your story -- The simple "mind games" ordinary couples play for control of a relationship are suficient for what you've outlined.

I'm not familiar with the character you named, but just from your description, I'd say a "Diva" type lady could seduce him with, "Come to my quarters at 2100 hours and be prepared to stay."

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: help build characters in a d/s relationship

The people who know the psychological aspects of BDSM best hang out in the BDSM forum.

However, I don't know that you need a "BDSM" theme for your story -- The simple "mind games" ordinary couples play for control of a relationship are suficient for what you've outlined.

I'm not familiar with the character you named, but just from your description, I'd say a "Diva" type lady could seduce him with, "Come to my quarters at 2100 hours and be prepared to stay."

very true and i couldnt agree more.
i dont understand the whole fan fick/deep space thingie.. so im reluctant to say much of anything.
what you say holds i believe.
you dont need to be wrapped into bdsm in order to be subserviant or to give your story the mind control slant.

what i will say is that if you are subserviant AND it is your desire/want/need to please a certain person, it wouldnt take but a crook of that persons finger to spurn you on...

2 pennies for ya
v~

 

[elin]

I’ve found thenry’s answer most helpful so far (thanks for the encouragement!), altough others absolutely have a point. If I don’t get satisfactory results out of my research I’ll tune it down to a more familiar ground. I have some drafts that could go either way, but I’m not ready to give it up just yet.
Here's some more of the plot, if you're interested: our "D" is a spy who has go to get close to our "s". She soon recognizes what a nice treat he would be, but if she makes a wrong step she might not just blew her mission, but also get executed in a heartbeat. Needless to say, she takes that risk.
I need some details to help me get into her head. I have "s" figured out pretty good, while "D" remains somewhat blurry. I guess I'm too much of a latent sub myself. *blushes*
What would it be about "s" that would get her interested? (certain behavior that would lead to intuition he is an s of her dreams)
How would she test that intuition?
What would she do when she got him in her chambers? (I'm not saying write a story for me, but give me a phrase or two or something, to provide me with a realistic touch.)
Perhaps a recommandation for a literotica story with the right mood? (feel free to advertise)

what i will say is that if you are subserviant AND it is your desire/want/need to please a certain person, it wouldnt take but a crook of that persons finger to spurn you on...

couldn't agree more, but the female character has yet to earn that!

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I've heard that there are more dominatrixes per capita in Washington DC than in any other city. All those people in power have to unwind somehow.

It's a common misconception that sexual subs are somehow weak or have low self-esteem, and that's just not true. The truth is that they run the gamut, and there's nothing incompatible about a person with a strong or willful personality enjoying sexual submission. The interation between a Dom and his/her sub in my experience is very rich and nuanced, and is much more than just a bully and his/her victim. In many regards it's the sub who runs the relationship.

---dr.M.

 

[oggbashan]

Try this group:

Psychological Sadism on Yahoo

Their discussions are fairly informative, as are those on the UNDER_WOMEN group.

Og

 

[Omni]

This is purely my imagination, but your Dominatrix would be the leader in any situation, in control always have a ready answer even if the answer is right or wrong.

If this is an adventure piece, my favorite to read and do, alot can come out of an adventurous scene. It could be somewhat humorous at first because he is following this Domme's commands in the heat of adventure, doing what she says, while he wonders why, but he is too busy.


Adventure can propel people, having to think quickly, react quickly into doing things without analyzing. It helps the reader to believe geeze someone took control someone followed. When the adventure culminates there the two are in their roles and knowing each other better because of the adventure.

So write some action (she is a Spy) let her take the lead, or help save him, see where your writing takes you.

Maybe.............

Omni~

 

[Guest]

 

[elin]

The truth is that they run the gamut, and there's nothing incompatible about a person with a strong or willful personality enjoying sexual submission. The interation between a Dom and his/her sub in my experience is very rich and nuanced, and is much more than just a bully and his/her victim. In many regards it's the sub who runs the relationship.

Your description fits my character almost perfectly. That is my motivation for trying to depict him through a certain kind of relationship, and definitely not because I'd like to him see him bullied. It's one of the things that would make the reader say: "Off course! It's never been on the screen, but I can so see him doing this." I doubt it he would let anyone bully him, anyway. He's more of a type that likes to have his cake and eat it too, if you know what I mean.
The only problem remains my lacking in details. I'd hate to just bring out some worn out fetish and then it's "oh, he likes it like that". That makes for sloppy writing, not to mention that I don't see any reason why a member of another race would share a liking for human fetishes, while he certainly can share a basic psychology.

oggbashan, thanks for the link. I'll try that and other on-line resources, and I'm off course still opened for suggestions from this board.

It could be somewhat humorous at first because he is following this Domme's commands in the heat of adventure, doing what she says, while he wonders why, but he is too busy.

I can see that happening, but not in this story. Thanks anyway!

I thought a d/s relationship built character - help me out here Lou!

LMAO!