Help a n00b with fetish writing for girlfriend

[usernamehere23]

So this how-to is about how to write erotica in general. I'm gonna start ranting, and if someone can find an actual complete though, please give a brother some help.


I want to put my girlfriend and I into stories, but I'm not sure how to go with it. I know some fetishes and other hot things we share in common, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it for some reason. I've written fictions before, but they all included BDSM things and now that I have a real relationship I can't see me putting us in such a story. I guess my problem is things I am afraid to put things I find hot into an erotica piece with us in it. Also, I'm used to third person writing, so I don't know how that works in a personalized erotica. Any advice? I'm probably just asking for advice to be a good writer, but I tend to be a good writer, I'm just having writer's block for a new genre.

 

[fire_breeze]

So this how-to is about how to write erotica in general. I'm gonna start ranting, and if someone can find an actual complete though, please give a brother some help.


I want to put my girlfriend and I into stories, but I'm not sure how to go with it. I know some fetishes and other hot things we share in common, but I'm not sure how to go about doing it for some reason. I've written fictions before, but they all included BDSM things and now that I have a real relationship I can't see me putting us in such a story. I guess my problem is things I am afraid to put things I find hot into an erotica piece with us in it. Also, I'm used to third person writing, so I don't know how that works in a personalized erotica. Any advice? I'm probably just asking for advice to be a good writer, but I tend to be a good writer, I'm just having writer's block for a new genre.

Welcome

The best way to write a story is to actually write it. I know that this sounds very straightforward, but I think that most writers just write and then take it from there. Don't be afraid to explore. Be confident in the story YOU'RE telling - there is nothing more aggravating (at least for me!) than a unsure writer. It's your story, your playground, your world so own it. You know you're good, that's all that matter. No one has to read it except you, and the beauty of a computer is that you can always press delete if you're not satisfied with it.

You may also wish to read stories that include the fetishes that interest you and your girlfriend. Just read and read and see how they incorporate said element and get inspired. Contact the authors and ask them for tips and pointers.

If you're stuck, try freestyle or stream-of-consciousness writing - that is, just write whatever comes to mind. Another tip is to jot down your ideas, or to map out an outline. Whatever works for you, do it, as there are a myriad of ways.

It's very simple to be a good writer: read and write (and edit). Repeat. I am afraid that while there are tips, they are highly individualised so what works for one may not work for you. It's a trial and error, I am afraid.

Alternatively, you may check out the Author's Hangout section of the forum to meet other writers who share the same fetish as you do and help you progress.

If you're having trouble with the first person POV, write it in the POV that you are most comfortable with and then change it when you edit.

And by the way, BDSM relationships are very much real - to say that they aren't undermines the relationships of a lot of people and posters. Just sayin'.


Happy writing!

 

[Loverskitten]

I found this site because I had a lover who would write to me. I wanted him to submit his stories.

My favorite stories where, after we would be together, he'd write me about how he felt, how I felt to him, what he was thinking/feeling. Basically a recount of what had happened. But OMG, the things he noticed... My eyes widening, my breathing, my touch, taste... I had no idea he noticed such detail.... *sigh* I miss those so.
Sometimes they were tender, sometimes not at all (reading those made me blush)

He also wrote about things he wanted to do to me but reading what he experienced when we were together were my favorites.

 

[usernamehere23]

Welcome

The best way to write a story is to actually write it. I know that this sounds very straightforward, but I think that most writers just write and then take it from there. Don't be afraid to explore. Be confident in the story YOU'RE telling - there is nothing more aggravating (at least for me!) than a unsure writer. It's your story, your playground, your world so own it. You know you're good, that's all that matter. No one has to read it except you, and the beauty of a computer is that you can always press delete if you're not satisfied with it.

You may also wish to read stories that include the fetishes that interest you and your girlfriend. Just read and read and see how they incorporate said element and get inspired. Contact the authors and ask them for tips and pointers.

If you're stuck, try freestyle or stream-of-consciousness writing - that is, just write whatever comes to mind. Another tip is to jot down your ideas, or to map out an outline. Whatever works for you, do it, as there are a myriad of ways.

It's very simple to be a good writer: read and write (and edit). Repeat. I am afraid that while there are tips, they are highly individualised so what works for one may not work for you. It's a trial and error, I am afraid.

Alternatively, you may check out the Author's Hangout section of the forum to meet other writers who share the same fetish as you do and help you progress.

If you're having trouble with the first person POV, write it in the POV that you are most comfortable with and then change it when you edit.

And by the way, BDSM relationships are very much real - to say that they aren't undermines the relationships of a lot of people and posters. Just sayin'.


Happy writing!

Thank you for the help!
About BDSM, I mean, I like to see people suffer sometimes, sexually, but with my girlfriend, I actually realized I can't picture it with her. I feel like that fetish on that account is based on disrespect, but I actually like her. That's all I meant.

 

[usernamehere23]

I found this site because I had a lover who would write to me. I wanted him to submit his stories.

My favorite stories where, after we would be together, he'd write me about how he felt, how I felt to him, what he was thinking/feeling. Basically a recount of what had happened. But OMG, the things he noticed... My eyes widening, my breathing, my touch, taste... I had no idea he noticed such detail.... *sigh* I miss those so.
Sometimes they were tender, sometimes not at all (reading those made me blush)

He also wrote about things he wanted to do to me but reading what he experienced when we were together were my favorites.

Sounds wonderful. I will take these into account.

 

[Loverskitten]

I've written fictions before, but they all included BDSM things and now that I have a real relationship I can't see me putting us in such a story. I guess my problem is things I am afraid to put things I find hot into an erotica piece with us in it.

Yes, I'm hoping that maybe you meant that you have BDSM fantasies that you have written, not that BDSM relationships aren't "real".
If that's the case a well written erotic story is a good way to feel your girlfriend out. Maybe she also has BDSM fantasies. Imagine a scene, write it in detail, start off light, maybe some bondage, holding her down, hair pulling... go from there

 

[usernamehere23]

I was told by a fellow fetishist to write her into lesser versions of stories until I basically had to write her into one of the actual fetish because she already came that far in stories, and I thought that was evil of her to even suggest that. One fetish, the one I'm talking about, is one of the ones I consider disrespectful (hot, but disrespectful.) So I'm not so sure about things like that, if anyone suggests it.

 

[fire_breeze]

Thank you for the help!
About BDSM, I mean, I like to see people suffer sometimes, sexually, but with my girlfriend, I actually realized I can't picture it with her. I feel like that fetish on that account is based on disrespect, but I actually like her. That's all I meant.

I was told by a fellow fetishist to write her into lesser versions of stories until I basically had to write her into one of the actual fetish because she already came that far in stories, and I thought that was evil of her to even suggest that. One fetish, the one I'm talking about, is one of the ones I consider disrespectful (hot, but disrespectful.) So I'm not so sure about things like that, if anyone suggests it.

If your girlfriend is into it, why is it disrespectful?

There are quite a few bottoms (men and women alike) who enjoy pain. Their tops enjoys giving it and together they have a strong relationship based on mutual care, respect and desire for each other. It's when one imposes on the other with absolute disregard to how the other is feeling that it becomes disrespectful. It's when a top beats and humiliates the bottom without prior consent and established boundaries that it becomes disrespectful. Even rape-play can be respectful - the operative word is play.

I do not know what fetish you're talking about. That's between you and your girlfriend, but I suspect that it might be BDSM-related. But even if it's you somersaulting with a swiffer through kitty litter, if all agree and it harms no one, who cares? Communication, though can be difficult is a wondrous thing.

Disrespect comes from not honouring the other and taking away agency, not because you would liked to do X with her consent.

I don't want you to get me wrong. I think it's highly commendable and applaudable that you are extremely considerate of your girlfriend; it shows that you are a gentleman, and if it's a fetish that you do not want to pursue with your girlfriend, then that's the way it is and there is nothing wrong with it. However, I also want to point out that women do not always like to be treated as glass-objects. Many of them have fantasies to be taken or to take, to be treated or to treat forcefully, to tie up or be tied up or insert-any-number-of-activity-here within a healthy, mutually caring and loving relationship.

I don't mean to be didactic; I just merely wanted to point out a couple of potential misconceptions . I'm probably stepping into something that need not to be stepped in to.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Maybe your trepidation comes from this being a new and inexperienced relationship, meaning, you don't have too many sexual encounters together to give you a firm grasp of her steadfast hard-lines (no go beyond a certain point ).

What I recommend is to write about what you know, with her and about her. Write about the things you've already done together, but instead of retelling a story she's already experienced, take your experience and craft a new sexual scenario with the two of you in it.

If you know that she shares a kink with you, then write where you think her threshold of that kink is. The key is realism, as long as you are writing a story congruent with something she would participate in, she will love it and respond accordingly. If you push it beyond her reality, then she not receive the story in the manner you intend it.

It all boils down to how well you know her. If you are unsure, then do some preliminary fact finding and talk to her about your shared kinks and where she stands with them, how far is she willing to take them, what kinds of things does she expect, or feel from the fantasy or experience of said kink.