Hello, Introduction

[frandessop]

Hi, it's the first time I have poked around in here.
Joined the site in 2010, just threw a story at it and ran.
New Story!

Back with something well rounded...

https://www.literotica.com/s/friends-having-fun

Friends who share something special.

Hope you like, thanks for reading.

 

[frandessop]

2010

This was my 2010 effort of wham bam...

https://www.literotica.com/s/friends-on-holiday

 

[frandessop]

Read

Please take a look and feel free to comment. Be nice now.

 

[ThisNameIsntTakenYet]

I had some free time on my hands so I gave it a read just now. Enjoyed the story, and while there were some small technical bits that an editor could fix for you, it was written pretty well. You were especially good at setting the scene and describing the locations and people. Very easy to picture and immersive.

Not sure if you were looking for actual feedback or advice, but I just wanted to point out a few things I noticed.

First of all, you seemed a bit overly enthusiastic with adjectives, for example in the following sentences:
"a beautiful bright balmy summer evening"
"A rich heavy sensuous musk from wild blooming honeysuckle and jasmine"
"She gave my backside a cheeky little firm spank"
As a general rule of thumb I usually try to avoid more than 2 adjectives back to back, any more gets a bit awkward to read.

You should also use a few more commas or break longer sentences up into smaller ones, it would make it a bit easier to read certain parts.

There were also some smaller things, like putting dialogue tags and other narration on a new line after every bit of dialogue, or the fact that some dialogue was in italics and some wasn't.

Anyway, aside from those things it was pretty good and I enjoyed reading it. Keep writing, and maybe pass your story by an editor next time so they can point out those things to you.

 

[frandessop]

Critique

Thanks for that, much appreciated. All taken on board.

 

[frandessop]

Hits vs reads

8.4k people have had a look... or have skimmed past in three weeks. Wow. Not bad.

 

[gunhilltrain]

8.4k people have had a look... or have skimmed past in three weeks. Wow. Not bad.

One of the advantages of this site is that it has a huge audience. If I remember correctly, you don't even have to be a member to read and vote on content.

 

[frandessop]

Thanks everyone

Fantastic, wonderful hits, reads & skims! Thanks everyone for taking time to read or visit.