HELLLLLLLP - please?

[EggShellBoy]

very self-indulgent thread but i need help.

i've fallen for a woman who's ex fucked with her mind sooo much that she runs scared every time i kiss her.

she's real special and i want to be able to convince her that she's got nothin to worry about. suggestions please?

 

[lil_elvis]

very self-indulgent thread but i need help.

i've fallen for a woman who's ex fucked with her mind sooo much that she runs scared every time i kiss her.

she's real special and i want to be able to convince her that she's got nothin to worry about. suggestions please?

Patience, don't push her too fast. It may be a long time before she's ready for another relationship. Hard to say from your limited info. Talk now, kiss later.

If it's really bad, she may need couselling/therapy to get over the ex. That may be more than you can offer, but first of all support her emotionally. If the physical is meant to be, it's got to happen when she's ready.

Sorry, but there won't be any quick solutions, if the relationship is to last.

 

[hotchkiss]

You'll have your work cut out calming her fears but if you can convince her that you pose no threat and love her the two of you could work on it together.

 

[EggShellBoy]

thanks guys.

i wouldnt be askin if she wasnt worth the effort.

i am bein as slow and gentle as i can. i let her lead things but its still me that keeps takin the kicking next day. guess i must love her or i wouldnt keep going back for more.

she wouldnt think of counselling - just her way. but thanks for that.

 

[cloudy]

Without going into a long explanation, please believe me when I say that I know exactly how she feels.

You have your work cut out for you, I won't sugarcoat it.

When she overreacts to something you've said, you'll have to let it roll off your back. It's not you she's reacting to, it's become a conditioned response - very Pavlovian.

She should come to the realization that you don't pose a threat to her, but it may take a VERY long time. Patience.

 

[zeb1094]

Thirty-six years ago, I meet a woman who had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. It took a long time, a long time, to calm her fears. Three years of going out, or just sitting and watching TV. Three years of handling her as gently as possible. Three years of sitting with her when she flashed back to prior marriage. Three years of intermitted intimacy. Was it worth it, you bet. We have now been married for thrity-three years, and still in love and passionate about each other. So yes I think it was worth it, very much.

 

[woodnymph_O]

Can't say it better than cloudy and zeb has given me the sniffles now, so I'll just say *echo* the former statements they are so right.
Nymphy

 

[zeb1094]

Can't say it better than cloudy and zeb has given me the sniffles now, so I'll just say *echo* the former statements they are so right.
Nymphy

Sorry Woody, just trying to let him know that if she is the one it will be worth the effort.

 

[fairysong]

It has already been said but I'll repeat anyways.......it will take time and patience and maybe outside help, therapy.

Luck

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

Thirty-six years ago, I meet a woman who had just gotten out of an abusive relationship. It took a long time, a long time, to calm her fears. Three years of going out, or just sitting and watching TV. Three years of handling her as gently as possible. Three years of sitting with her when she flashed back to prior marriage. Three years of intermitted intimacy. Was it worth it, you bet. We have now been married for thrity-three years, and still in love and passionate about each other. So yes I think it was worth it, very much.

Sniff. Choke. Sniff.
Sounds like the stuff of an award winning story.

 

[cantdog]

I think a person ought to forego writing about their own experiences, romantic or sexual, either one. Awards or no.