Headlines read.........

[DevilishTexan]

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2004:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!]

Crack Found on
Governor's Daughter
[imagine that!]


Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]


War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]


Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]


Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police
Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]


Red Tape Holds
Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]


Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger
Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]


Astronaut Takes
Blame for Gas
in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]


Kids Make Nutritious
Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]


Local High School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]


Hospitals are Sued
by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]


And the winner is....


Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead


Did I read that sign right?

 

[JustSkye]

thank you

 

[kotori]

I had a friend in college you was a journalism major and total pot-head; he got a job writing headlines during the graveyard shift, would go into work high, and wrote some really funny stuff.

 

[retd]

Viagra Theft.

/police in london investgated and found outstanding evidence at a school nearby the son of the victim had stolen it, the teacher noticed the boy had a problem with a long erection and was in pain so he raised the problem with the police.he got a prolonged sentence.

 

[Skiddles22]

/police in london investgated and found outstanding evidence at a school nearby the son of the victim had stolen it, the teacher noticed the boy had a problem with a long erection and was in pain so he raised the problem with the police.he got a prolonged sentence.

Ever heard of PUNCTUATION?
Try it.
You may make sense.

 

[Guest]

THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2004:

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

Local High School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Typhoon Rips Through
Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

bahahahahahahah