Head Subs & Heart Subs

[Ntrepeneur]

I'm not a veteran - coming up on 3 years experience - but it seems to me I can identify 2 broad (very broad) categories of submissive. I don't have experience with male subs but I am going to assume the dynamics I discuss here are the same with ether sex.

Again, these are broad concepts; I am sure there are subs who cross into both types, and some who might feel they're neither. This is an effort on my part to stimulate some discussion, and learn.

I would enjoy hearing opinions from other Dom's as well as experienced subs. PLEASE feel free to shred this concept to pieces if you feel the need.

Oh, and there's no judgement here; either type of sub is wonderful, and I've had the pleasure of experiencing both.

Head Subs

My view of this type of sub is that they primarily enjoy submission for experiencing lack of control. They tend to be women in positions of power in their vanilla lives. In my experience, these subs have a stronger idea of what they want to experience as a submissive; humiliation (yes/no), bondage (yes/no), etc...they can be quite specific. The rush for these subs is the mental and at times emotional release; the release of control, feeling controlled, feeling powerless, abandoning responsibility.

Heart Subs

Once you define hard and soft limits with this type of sub, they care much less about specifics; their goal, and where they derive their pleasure, is in seeing their Dom pleased. If he whips them and it pleases him, they happily endure it. If it pleases him to spit in her face, they are happy to see him happy. Seeing her Dom happy and fulfilled is the driving force for this sub, and why she will endure anything within her limits as long as she sees he is pleased, and pleased with her.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

I"m not sure I would separate us into two distinct categories. My feelings are that a Venn much like the one below might begin to clarify the matter, with a great many of us following into the "Skittles" category and then others going all out and seeming much like the "Snickers."

 

[Slave_Katie]

Hmm very interesting. Given my generally detailed nature, I would have thought I was a head sub. While I do enjoy giving up control, I get far more satisfaction from knowing that I have pleased my Master.

 

[fire_breeze]

I"m not sure I would separate us into two distinct categories. My feelings are that a Venn much like the one below might begin to clarify the matter, with a great many of us following into the "Skittles" category and then others going all out and seeming much like the "Snickers."

Wouldn't the Skittles be part of the candy coating circle?

 

[Ntrepeneur]

@slave_katie,

You sound like one of the variants I mentioned - someone who embraces both.

I suspect there may be more than I had thought, who embrace elements of both, in which case maybe a 3rd "type" would be in order.

Again, my experience is somewhat limited. I have experienced only these 2 described, and the distinction to me was very clear. But with a relatively small "sample size" I may not have it correctly.