Have you had a lot of unusual/interesting experiences?

[Z_TheWriter]

I've always considered myself fairly vanilla and boring both sexually and romantically, and in some ways I definitely am. But thinking more about it these days, I have actually experienced quite a few interesting and unusual things.

I would have collapsed this case you don't want to read about my experiences, but spoiler tags don't seem to work.

My first story is based on me and a girl I met discovering that we had an almost supernatural understanding of each other. This resulted in us speedrunning a relationship, from the cautious interest of first meeting, through falling in love, to discovering that we were bad for each other in spite of our love and shouldn't be together - all in about 8 hours.

The girl who took my virginity treated me more like a sex toy than the boyfriend I made clear I wanted to be.

I dated a poly girl for a while whose boyfriend was uncomfortable with who she was, resulting in her feeling guilty when we were together.

I worked with a girl for a year who I had fooled around with very lightly before. She was in a very open relationship, but was forbidden from seeing exactly one person - me. The sexual tension in that office would have needed more than a knife to cut.

I declared my love once, while sporting a high fever, for a foreign girl I had known for 4 months. It was outside during a massive storm, after having played an outdoor concert in Eastern Europe (where I am not from). She broke my heart and ended up engaged to our guitar player instead.

I've had sex in classrooms, outside during summer camp, had one night stands with political opponents at a foreign conference. Never cheated, but have been the one cheated with.

Examples end here.

There's more, but I'd like to limit how identifiable I am on here. This is obviously a far cry from the most exotic and adventurous people in the world. It got me thinking though, is this how erotica writers are? Is this why I am here now? Or was I just bored while being sick?

Do you have a lot of unusual or interesting experiences, good or bad?

 

[AchtungNight]

It depends on your definition of “interesting experiences”. In my case, I’ve had a few.

I was the stepson of an Italian diplomat in Taiwan during my teenage years. I then graduated from a catholic high school and UT-Austin. I spent six years in the security and law enforcement industry before moving into a computer chip factory job where I’ve been a valuable employee for twenty years.

Romance wise, I’ve longed for a lot more relationships than I’ve had. My story “Bad Connections” is based around a couple relationships I almost had in real life. A college roommate brought an obnoxious girl into our room one night and she offered herself to me while he insisted on watching if I agreed. I refused and ended up leaving the room while they got it on. This event, and the anger I felt afterwards that led to me switching rooms in the dorm the next day is depicted in the story pretty true to life. The story also has the main character (who’s based on me) hook up with a girl who posts their sex tapes online without his knowledge or consent. I heard about someone doing that to guys in college but never met her. I was willing to forgive her if the sex was good at the time but years later after my experiences with trolls as an erotica writer, my feelings are more mixed.

Many of my stories depict the main character based on me as a wealthy writer slash entertainment mogul with many relationships with celebrities. This is obviously fiction. My fantasy wife, the ethical slut psychotherapist stuntwoman, is also a fictional character. Would I want to date someone like her? Of course. But I’ve never found an earthly echo. My real relationships are an ill advised series of hookups in high school and college that hold nothing but regret and nostalgia today, a few sex worker hirings that were at least partially satisfying (some of which are depicted in my stories “Snakes in Taipei” and “The Strip Club”), and an eight year marriage that was great in the beginning but then soured over time. I’m not fifty yet and would like more relationships but I’m honestly not sure how to get there. Today’s dating environment is not ideal.

I will say that I’m someone who can understand both sexual attraction and sexual harassment. You of course want to indulge in attraction when it is mutual and appropriate. And you want to avoid harassment- I know from firsthand experiences how awful it can be. I mentioned my roommate above. There was also an incident in my youth where I fought off an attempted sexual assault. I will not go into specifics in public due to forum rules. Let’s just say that I have a kink where I want all my sexual encounters to be consensual and respectful. In the moment they happened they have been. And that’s a good thing.

I think this attitude has led me to be a better erotica writer. Do others share the attitude and similar life experiences? I honestly don’t know. I might call my life unusual but some might not. And my life isn’t over yet. If you read this far, thanks. Good luck to you with your life journey.

 

[EmmAgain]

I’ve had an unusual life. What I’m trying to do now - and honestly not very well - is to tell it in words rather than in pictures.

I really admire the first poster’s eloquence!

 

[Erozetta]

Do you have a lot of unusual or interesting experiences, good or bad?

Yes to both.

 

[Statius]

I’ve had an unusual life. What I’m trying to do now - and honestly not very well - is to tell it in words rather than in pictures.

I really admire the first poster’s eloquence!

Don't worry so much about the writing part, just start. Every time you write and publish something, you'll see where you could have done something better or different. Keep writing, keep publishing, keep experimenting, some will work, some won't, but it will never change if you don't do it. And yes, publish even if it's not perfect. Every story I write is an experiment, something I'm trying to improve. Just publish and keep going.

 

[Areala-chan]

I'm so vanilla, I fear @onehitwanda will start biting me every time I post.

 

[Z_TheWriter]

I really admire the first poster’s eloquence!

Flattery will get you everywhere <3

I'm so vanilla, I fear @onehitwanda will start biting me every time I post.

Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Like I said, I am too mostly. You'll notice a distinct lack of sexual kinks in my post for instance.

 

[Writer61]

More than some, less than others. What is in my stories is in a similar proportion.

 

[Wifetheif]

A mentally disturbed wife for twenty years with THREE separate suicide attempts. Does that count? The sex varied from lousy to non-existent. I stayed so long because of the kids. The only real "arousing" moment of our pathetic marriage? This quote after her mental home incacerations. "At (name of mental hospital) they strip searched me. I felt violated and totally humiliated, but it's what I needed."

 

[MrPixel]

Does a first date with a stunning woman at a nudist resort count as unusual or interesting? We didn't touch each other then, even though we wanted to. 37 years later, she's still stunning. We have had many interesting adventures together; I probably shouldn't go into detail.

 

[onehitwanda]

I'm so vanilla, I fear @onehitwanda will start biting me every time I post.

Brb, fetching the strawberry relish!

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

Brb, fetching the strawberry relish!

I’m also insanely vanilla

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I hope everyone has had at least a few unusual or interesting experiences.
Life would be awfully boring otherwise.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Do you have a lot of unusual or interesting experiences, good or bad?

My work is chock full of drawing on my own experiences, either describing actual events (or twisted versions of them), or just some detail that helps add verisimilitude to a story, or a scene.