Have you ever felt like an idiot for having a heart
- Thread starter lavender
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Sillyman
Clearence INFRARED
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People can be assholes, but it's not your problem. Helping someone out is it's own reward, and if they screw you over, you can just think about the next time they are going to need help how they have one less person to call on. Being compassionate isn't just moronic innocence, it's ultimately what holds society together.
MissTaken
Biker Chick
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Well, yes. Repeatedly.
I haven't done the asshole routine as it just isn't something I can do.
However, I try to set some limits as to how far I will go to help others and how much of my self is involved. Is this a good solution? I think not.
I haven't done the asshole routine as it just isn't something I can do.
However, I try to set some limits as to how far I will go to help others and how much of my self is involved. Is this a good solution? I think not.
Paendragon
AmPic and SRP Moderator
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lavender said:
Yeah. Sometimes caring seems like the worst thing you can do. I was fucked over for $3,000 once during a loan. I got the money back (eventually), but it fucked up my credit etc.
All because I felt like I owed them for something they did for me.
AzureAngel
Love is Life
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Yeah. *Nods.* Will leave it there.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
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I've had this happen before in the past, long ago. It's hard, because my first instinct after getting fucked over was to say, "Screw everyone!" from then on. I really didn't want to let bad experiences make me into a selfish asshole, but I don't want to become the perpetual victim/bleeding heart either. So nowadays, every time I'm given the opportunity to help someone, I ask myself, "If this person ends up being ungrateful, hateful, or rude for the help I give, will I still be happy with myself for at least making the attempt? Will making the attempt not hurt me in a significant way - financially, emotionally, or otherwise?" If I can honestly say yes to those two questions, then I go ahead and help. Otherwise...
Paendragon
AmPic and SRP Moderator
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Laurel, is that your cat in your Av?
seXieleXie
trouble
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this happens to me a lot. that's bad, but what's worse is that lately it's been happening with the same people over and over.
G
Guest
Guest
Just two weeks ago, actually. 
Paendragon
AmPic and SRP Moderator
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Laurel said:
Adorable. And I'm not a cat person. My girlfriend walked by the computer, glanced at it, and went gaga. She wants on. lol.
Just thought I'd pass it on.
Hamletmaschine
This space for rent
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I'm sure I have a "Kick me" sign on the back of my leather jumpsuit.
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LukkyKnight
Equal Opportunity Enjoyer
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Yes.
Have you ever helped someone out in life just to have them shit on you?
Yes.
Is this something that occurs over and over?
Wellll... no, I can't say over and over.
Do you sometimes feel as if helping someone only makes yourself vulnerable to getting hurt?
Nope.
I was having a conversation today with a friend who is experiencing this. It brought up a lot of past incidents I have experienced when you get burned for doing nothing short of providing assistance, compassion, or even love for another person.
Sometimes it just makes you want to truly be a cold, uncaring asshole.
Yes, BTDT. Hope anybody in that position gets past it quickly, it's an unhealthy place to be.
Have you ever helped someone out in life just to have them shit on you?
Yes.
Is this something that occurs over and over?
Wellll... no, I can't say over and over.
Do you sometimes feel as if helping someone only makes yourself vulnerable to getting hurt?
Nope.
I was having a conversation today with a friend who is experiencing this. It brought up a lot of past incidents I have experienced when you get burned for doing nothing short of providing assistance, compassion, or even love for another person.
Sometimes it just makes you want to truly be a cold, uncaring asshole.
Yes, BTDT. Hope anybody in that position gets past it quickly, it's an unhealthy place to be.
Laurel
Kitty Mama
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People always act as though uncaring assholes are "tough" while sensitive, caring people are somehow "weaker". I believe the opposite to be true. I think it takes no guts or courage to close yourself off to your fellow humans at the first emotional injury. I think it takes a great deal of courage to continue to be helpful, kind, polite, caring, thoughtful, and loving despite the risks involved.
So lavy and everyone...we should all learn from these situations, but we shouldn't let them harden us. We should be wiser in how and who we choose to help, but we shouldn't stop helping entirely.
So lavy and everyone...we should all learn from these situations, but we shouldn't let them harden us. We should be wiser in how and who we choose to help, but we shouldn't stop helping entirely.
shynsexy
Really Really Experienced
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- Feb 12, 2002
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yeah it happens
when i first moved here to my apartment, my neighbor asked me for some sugar.. I was JUST moving in and wanted to make friends, so i thought sure why not its just sugar. Well guess who everyone came to from now on???? Me.. I was the local grocery store. I'd have people comming over for bacon, eggs, hamburgermeat, you name it. Once, my neighbor asked me for my leftover dinner, and we hadnt even eaten yet!
The only good thing i got out of it is my bf.... but nowadays, it doesnt matter what they ask for.... i dont have it. and if i do, i still dont. tuff....
when i first moved here to my apartment, my neighbor asked me for some sugar.. I was JUST moving in and wanted to make friends, so i thought sure why not its just sugar. Well guess who everyone came to from now on???? Me.. I was the local grocery store. I'd have people comming over for bacon, eggs, hamburgermeat, you name it. Once, my neighbor asked me for my leftover dinner, and we hadnt even eaten yet!
The only good thing i got out of it is my bf.... but nowadays, it doesnt matter what they ask for.... i dont have it. and if i do, i still dont. tuff....
The_Masseur
Experienced
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"...
He's the fellow to please never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
..."
Its a shame that, frequently, the reward of kindness is being taken advantage of. Its a bigger shame if the kind heart is hardened.
Be of good cheer. People aren't kind who expect rewards.
The poem was the 4th stanza of "The Man in the Glass", author purportedly unknown, shamelessly pifered from http://www.rayhunt.com/man.htm
He's the fellow to please never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.
..."
Its a shame that, frequently, the reward of kindness is being taken advantage of. Its a bigger shame if the kind heart is hardened.
Be of good cheer. People aren't kind who expect rewards.
The poem was the 4th stanza of "The Man in the Glass", author purportedly unknown, shamelessly pifered from http://www.rayhunt.com/man.htm
