Have you ever come across a story with very good prose?

[StillStunned]

Some of the quotes in this thread are great -- sharp and pithy, some them are even frisson-inducing. BUT -- I actually get distracted from the narrative by well-turned prose. The minute I become conscious that I'm reading words, my brain takes over from my gonads, and the eroticism suffers.

I've always preferred "trashy" writing -- comics, the bulk of sci-fi, the Playboy fiction. I read the Olympia Reader as an early teenager, which included excepts from William Burroughs, Henry Miller, Nabokov, Marquis De Sade, and many others. At the same time, I had the semi-pornographic collection of the original Mad comics from the early 1950's (my Avatar is a tribute to Wally Wood, one of its three core artists ), and the fiction in my brother's Playboy and Penthouse collection. That stuff aroused me far more than anything I read in that anthology.

When I tried to write a story written from the point of view of a person whose English was simple, because it was not her first language, it helped me concentrate less on the words, and more on the story and events, and it came out well (and was well-received).

This is an important issue, I think, and one that perhaps isn't generally considered much. It can be tempting to make your writing as lyrical as possible, but - as you note - this can distract from the substance.

Mostly I try to make the prose serve the story. I use techniques like alliteration and rhythm to make certain words stand out in the reader's mind, while their eyes glide over the rest and absorb the story without thinking about it much.

But when I deliberately went for lyrical prose - in Upstream - it got loads of comments about how beautiful it was. Then again, there's not much of a story there, and I don't think I'd use that style again for anything that's more plot-driven.

 

[UsuallyPresent]

The best, and only story-as-story and not -resource in my faves, is the Seussian pastiche, https://literotica.com/s/trust-and-obey by JukeboxEMCSA

 

[nice90sguy]

The best, and only story-as-story and not -resource in my faves, is the Seussian pastiche, https://literotica.com/s/trust-and-obey by JukeboxEMCSA

I'm not sure what you're saying about that story, but I have to say, when I read this:

a redheaded Caucasian woman dressed in a pink-and-white gown that looked like the love child of a mad, tempestuous fling between a wedding cake and a lace doily.

it smacked of self-consicousness and "trying-too-hard" -- exactly the kind of distracting prose that spoils my enjoyment, and I stopped reading. The first paragraph was great though.

 

[TheNovelist2000]

For me, good prose doesn't necessarily have to stand out as poetic or pretty,

I don’t like prose that is pretty all the time. When an author gets too lyrical and tries to cut through in every scene, it becomes boring very quickly. I’ve read prose that describes the details of a man getting off a motorbike as if it were the most important, romantic gesture in the history of the world, and it was just a waste of good prose on such a trivial scene. I think we should reserve the lyrical, poetic parts of a story for important scenes that deal with human emotion, and the rest should be pretty straightforward, without much introspection or romanticism.

 

[TheNovelist2000]

One aspect of good writing can be, I think, whether there is a discernable author's voice

Oh! As much as it’s fantastic to read stories with a discernible author’s voice, it’s hard to pull off as a writer. Those stories often draw me in very easily.

 

[TheNovelist2000]

BUT -- I actually get distracted from the narrative by well-turned prose. The minute I become conscious that I'm reading words, my brain takes over from my gonads, and the eroticism suffers.

One must be careful that beautiful prose does not become purple.

 

[TheNovelist2000]

This is an important issue, I think, and one that perhaps isn't generally considered much. It can be tempting to make your writing as lyrical as possible, but - as you note - this can distract from the substance.

Mostly I try to make the prose serve the story. I use techniques like alliteration and rhythm to make certain words stand out in the reader's mind, while their eyes glide over the rest and absorb the story without thinking about it much.

But when I deliberately went for lyrical prose - in Upstream - it got loads of comments about how beautiful it was. Then again, there's not much of a story there, and I don't think I'd use that style again for anything that's more plot-driven.

Lyrical prose often draws me in, but once it becomes purple, I find it impossible to continue.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I don’t like prose that is pretty all the time. When an author gets too lyrical and tries to cut through in every scene, it becomes boring very quickly.

I call it 'verbose'. Not so much becoming aware of the words, but getting lost in them and thinking ... 'huh?'

 

[TheNovelist2000]

I call it 'verbose'. Not so much becoming aware of the words, but getting lost in them and thinking ... 'huh?'

a redheaded Caucasian woman dressed in a pink-and-white gown that looked like the love child of a mad, tempestuous fling between a wedding cake and a lace doily.

I'd say this sentence falls into the category 'verbose'. I can't imagine how the love child of a mad, tempestuous fling between a wedding cake and a lace doily is supposed to look like.

 

[TheWritingGroup]

I tend to say "overwritten" for what I think you mean by "verbose". Too much effort put into it, to its detriment.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

I can't imagine how the love child of a mad, tempestuous fling between a wedding cake and a lace doily is supposed to look like.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c5/2e/e3/c52ee310a70239e86990484641d3f2e7.jpg

 

[Off_base]

I was reminded by a new story that dropped this morning, that SugarStorm is on this list, too!

 

[Erozetta]

I'd say this sentence falls into the category 'verbose'. I can't imagine how the love child of a mad, tempestuous fling between a wedding cake and a lace doily is supposed to look like.

I'd read that as: gaudy but in a very rich way.

 

[nice90sguy]

I'd read that as: gaudy but in a very rich way.
View attachment 2576927

That pic activated a hitherto dormant gay gene in me.

 

[AG31]

BUT -- I actually get distracted from the narrative by well-turned prose.

Me too.

I've always preferred "trashy" writing -- comics, the bulk of sci-fi, the Playboy fiction.

But not this. I find "trashy" writing just as distracting. I want to edit up the wazoo.

 

[AG31]

Then again, there's not much of a story there,

I ran right off to check it out. The slightly-over-one-page length allowed me to appreciate the word painting in a very lovely piece!

 

[AG31]

tries to cut through in every scene

Excellent. Do I assume correctly that this is your own wording?

 

[StillStunned]

I ran right off to check it out. The slightly-over-one-page length allowed me to appreciate the word painting in a very lovely piece!

Thank you! I deliberately set out to create a sense of place, after I started reading a story by @onehitwanda and was immediately transported to the Italian lakes.

 

[AG31]

Oh! As much as it’s fantastic to read stories with a discernible author’s voice, it’s hard to pull off as a writer.

On the other hand, if it's the author's real life voice (as I suspect it is, when done well), it probably flows effortlessly.

 

[redgarters]

In my mind @onehitwanda stands above the rest when it comes to elegant prose that adds depth to the story. Read her Painting With Soft Brushstrokes for a glimpse into how she approaches her writing.

 

[AG31]

In my mind @onehitwanda stands above the rest when it comes to elegant prose that adds depth to the story. Read her Painting With Soft Brushstrokes for a glimpse into how she approaches her writing.

I'm sure there was a thread focusing on this story, or the ideas behind it. But I can't find it with searches for brushstrokes, or soft or.... or... Does this ring a bell with anyone? @onehitwanda???

Oh, wait!! maybe I just read the article itself... But I do think there was discussion.

 

[redgarters]

I'm sure there was a thread focusing on this story, or the ideas behind it. But I can't find it with searches for brushstrokes, or soft or.... or... Does this ring a bell with anyone? @onehitwanda???

Oh, wait!! maybe I just read the article itself... But I do think there was discussion.

There was a discussion, but I can't seem to find it either.

 

[Nynah]

I'm sure there was a thread focusing on this story, or the ideas behind it. But I can't find it with searches for brushstrokes, or soft or.... or... Does this ring a bell with anyone? @onehitwanda???

Oh, wait!! maybe I just read the article itself... But I do think there was discussion.

There was a discussion, but I can't seem to find it either.

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/a-helpful-exposition-of-an-excellent-author’s-craft.1637942/

 

[AG31]

https://forum.literotica.com/threads/a-helpful-exposition-of-an-excellent-author’s-craft.1637942/

Thanks!
Aha! In the post it was brush-strokes, not brushstrokes.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I tend to say "overwritten" for what I think you mean by "verbose". Too much effort put into it, to its detriment.

This is why I advise new writers to use first person perspective and write in the character's natural, conversational voice.

Start with a character. Get to know them. Then let them speak. Through them, you will find your own natural authorial voice.