Have you ever been through . . . .

[CurvAppeal]

Your Master/Mistress having another sub, slave, daughter etc etc... and what is your take on it?

Or for the Masters/Mistresses, have you ever had a sub that has more than one Master/Mistress? what is your take on it as well?

I haven't been through this kind of situation but I've heard stories on it.

I really do hope this thread goes somewhere. It is meant for people that are going through the same thing to share their thoughts and ideas. Also welcome for anyone to give advice on!! =)

Please try to keep any negative feedback to a minimum or none at all, as I am sure this topic may be sensitive to others.

 

[seela]

Yup. I'm busy at the moment, but I'll try to swing by later with hopefully something more to say.

However, I wanted to link this thread: Polyamory because it is pure awsomeness.

 

[xhardchick]

It never happened to me but I should say that it'd hurt me a lot. D/S relationships are still relationships and cheating is unacceptable! If you like to have a sub and you have her/him why do you have to search for another? I don't get it. Same happens with the subs. If you have more than one Master it's a bit lame as you have to obey in two people's orders. Personally I think it's hard to do it.

 

[seela]

It never happened to me but I should say that it'd hurt me a lot. D/S relationships are still relationships and cheating is unacceptable! If you like to have a sub and you have her/him why do you have to search for another? I don't get it. Same happens with the subs. If you have more than one Master it's a bit lame as you have to obey in two people's orders. Personally I think it's hard to do it.

I don't think CA was talking about cheating. Cheating is unacceptable, but it has nothing to do with open and poly relationships.

Poly is not for everybody, but I don't think there's anything that peculiar about it either.

 

[catalina_francisco]

As seela says, it is an OK situation for some, a situation some can adapt to, and for others something they simply cannot ever come to terms with and be completely happy. I think the important thing in this is to realise where you and your partner/s stand in these situations, and if it cannot be worked out in a manner which suits everyone, it may be just the wrong relationship for you no matter how right it feels in other ways.

Catalina

 

[CurvAppeal]

I don't think CA was talking about cheating. Cheating is unacceptable, but it has nothing to do with open and poly relationships.

Poly is not for everybody, but I don't think there's anything that peculiar about it either.

As seela says, it is an OK situation for some, a situation some can adapt to, and for others something they simply cannot ever come to terms with and be completely happy. I think the important thing in this is to realise where you and your partner/s stand in these situations, and if it cannot be worked out in a manner which suits everyone, it may be just the wrong relationship for you no matter how right it feels in other ways.

Catalina

I couldn't of said it any better! I have heard some relationships work out that way and I have heard others dwindle because of it. This is when communication becomes key, a very important one indeed. =) This is a question that I have learned to ask upfront because I wouldn't be able to handle my Master going home to someone else. =S

Thank you all for your responses and I sure hope to hear more!! =)

 

[redheadedtxn]

it's not for me.

 

[rida]

Been there, done that, on both sides as a pyl.

Premises though is that I'm wired poly, my Hubby is wired poly, and we have an open marriage/Ds relationship. There is no cheating going on on my end of things.

PYL with multiple pyls:
From a pyl point of view, when the PYL has other pyls, it can trigger insecurities such as "is she xxx more than me? am I not good enough?". It is important to know before getting involved with the PYL if you are going to be the only one or not. And if not, you have to honestly decide for yourself if you can handle it or not.

The PYL's responsibility is to be honest with the arrangement and what is expected and what can be expected. The pyl's responsibility is, once the arrangement has been accepted, to work within the structure. And for both to communicate in a honest and constructive matter when unexpected hurdles arise.

Why would a PYL have more than one pyl? Many reasons raging from ego-trip to needing different pyl for different activities to being poly and being in such a structure.

pyl with two PYLs:
It is important that the PYLs understand the situation and are willing to work with each other to find an arrangement that works for both.
The arrangements can go from time-sharing the pyl to one of the two PYL being the Alpha-dog with the last word and veto-power, or both agreeing and cooperating in the handling of the pyl.

Again, the responsibilities are the same: honesty and communication.

As for why a pyl would want or have two PYLs, it could be that she wishes to experience something that her primary PYL is not interested into, or the PYL might want to lend her to another PYL, or the pyl might be poly and find him/herself in such structure.

 

[CurvAppeal]

Been there, done that, on both sides as a pyl.

Premises though is that I'm wired poly, my Hubby is wired poly, and we have an open marriage/Ds relationship. There is no cheating going on on my end of things.

PYL with multiple pyls:
From a pyl point of view, when the PYL has other pyls, it can trigger insecurities such as "is she xxx more than me? am I not good enough?". It is important to know before getting involved with the PYL if you are going to be the only one or not. And if not, you have to honestly decide for yourself if you can handle it or not.

The PYL's responsibility is to be honest with the arrangement and what is expected and what can be expected. The pyl's responsibility is, once the arrangement has been accepted, to work within the structure. And for both to communicate in a honest and constructive matter when unexpected hurdles arise.

Why would a PYL have more than one pyl? Many reasons raging from ego-trip to needing different pyl for different activities to being poly and being in such a structure.

pyl with two PYLs:
It is important that the PYLs understand the situation and are willing to work with each other to find an arrangement that works for both.
The arrangements can go from time-sharing the pyl to one of the two PYL being the Alpha-dog with the last word and veto-power, or both agreeing and cooperating in the handling of the pyl.

Again, the responsibilities are the same: honesty and communication.

As for why a pyl would want or have two PYLs, it could be that she wishes to experience something that her primary PYL is not interested into, or the PYL might want to lend her to another PYL, or the pyl might be poly and find him/herself in such structure.

Thank you for your response Rida! I am glad you and your man are open and honest with each other as that is very important. In any relationship trust is often sitting in the back corner awaiting to be used, as well as communication.

 

[Bunni008]

I've officially been into BDSM for about 6 or so years, being collared by a few different Doms and/or Masters over the years, one of which lasted 4.5 years.


I've never actually had any of them seriously suggest the possibility of having another sub/slave to work with. However, that's not to say that it didn't come up in conversation a few times here and there, or that it didn't cross my own mind from time to time.

I'll be completely honest- this is a subject I've always been on the fence about, since I'm Bisexual, a switch (with women only, for men, I'm almost always sub/slave, it's all about how I feel about the other person- but.. that's another discussion) and I'm also a nymphomaniac, I do enjoy the thought of having another female to play with under a Dom/Domme/Master/ Mistress.

Having a male superior, and a female equal or lessor, it appeals to my bisexuality and switching, I like to play both sides of the fence if the occasion presents itself- having the best of both worlds. Also, as a nympho, I tend to "wear out" anyone I'm playing with, because of how often I really do need (and when I say "need," I mean NEED) to have sex -and- orgasm on a regular basis.

However, because of how close I tend to get with any Dom/Master that I've chosen to stay with longer than a week or two, and because of some personal self- esteem and trust issues from traumatic past events (which I'm currently working on), I think, that if it was seriously under consideration (at this point in my life) that it would hurt my feelings.

I would feel as though I wasn't satisfying my Master in some way or degree and, no matter how much he would try to reassure me otherwise or tell me that I have some sort of "special place" with him, that it would be the reasoning behind him wanting to have another sub/slave under him. Or that it might even feel like a shot, for not me being as pretty or whatnot. Not to mention suddenly worrying about security and being replaced by the new sub/slave, feeling hurt if he would do solo sessions with her instead of me, etc.

That being said- I hope to overcome my own difficulties so that I can hopefully, reach a point where I would feel comfortable to engage in something like that.


-Bunni

 

[bluesky496]

Your Master/Mistress having another sub, slave, daughter etc etc... and what is your take on it?

Or for the Masters/Mistresses, have you ever had a sub that has more than one Master/Mistress? what is your take on it as well?

I haven't been through this kind of situation but I've heard stories on it.

I really do hope this thread goes somewhere. It is meant for people that are going through the same thing to share their thoughts and ideas. Also welcome for anyone to give advice on!! =)

Please try to keep any negative feedback to a minimum or none at all, as I am sure this topic may be sensitive to others.

i am a sub t.v. and have been serving my master for 14 years and recently he brought hom another gurl and told me she would be helping me with my duties , i was a bit hurt, she is younger than me and rather pretty but my master explained that it was for his pleasure and i should accept it so i have tried and we two have become friends over time and we both enjoy serving our master now so it can work out well if all parties get along .