have i overcooked this passage

[Pure]

i agree with gauche. not many 'portals' left these days, except in pulp romance novels. it's pretty 'purple.'

i can't tell the context, but if it's a fuck that represents this 'dark world of depravity' (to him? to the narrator?), it's somewhat dated, excepting if she's a vampire. unless he's fucking her left ear and she's stuffing a carrot up his butt.

you might have a look at commentaries offered in the threads of the story discussion circle and read its 'sticky' (topmost) postings to get an idea what we do.

best,
J.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Dated to you, maybe- but to Shang it might seem modern and newfangled!
it's all in the eye of the beholder, and I dig a good purple prosody, speaking for myself-