...have an orgasm.

[dclabrecque]

I'd guess that you are trying to hard- making it impossible. Give up, have a good time, and come on your own after. The best part of making love is feeling close to someone else, the specialness you feel when you share something so intimate. You have that if you come or not.

 

[DuckLover]

Orgasm over-rated

As you've heard stated at least twice already, NOT striving for an orgasm can make it easier to have one.

Think about your purpose for having sex-- is it for orgasm? or is it to express your love for your partner? or is it to make each other feel good? Pressure and stress are nearly the same thing, and most people can't effectively orgasm when under stress.