Hatefulness and the Stero-

[Joe Wordsworth]

A friend of mine called me up, this morning absolutely distraught. Shelly is a wonderful girl, keep in mind. A good student, B-ish in classes in accounting. Always nice. Pretty as can be. She'd fit the mold of foxy sorority girl really well, even does the Power Walking and all that.

So, she's started dating another friend of mine, he's a good guy--they met in class. He's sort of the standard sci-fi-geek-kind-of-guy, though. and his friends are more the sci-fi/fantasy/etc. community type.

So, there's last night's New Years' party and she and Greg skip out a little early from the swap party hoodoo with the Greeks and go to his friends' party. Things go well enough, she tries conversation--truth be told there's not a whole lot of in-common with the other girls there and she's a bit overdressed given the party. She'd just come from cocktail dress party and walks into cargo-fatigue-pants-faded-black-t-shirt-with-angsty-band party.

So she's sitting there and smiling and kinda just waiting, Greg is mingling more, nobody seems real comfortable talking to her--most of the guys try either chatting her up or yes-man-puppy-dogging around her. They're due to head back before midnight, that was the plan, to the other party.

So, its fifteen till the hour and she goes and finds Greg and asks him if he wants to stay, she didn't care one way or the other, she just wanted to spend time with the boy. She sees her friends all the time. He says they'll head out in a few.

So, she heads to the bathroom. Begin the most horrible hateful clique-ing I've ever heard of actually happening. Greg overheard most of it and was /livid/. Liv-Id.

Apparently the gaggle of chicks at the party thought she'd gone outside and proceeded to lay into her with the whole line-up of classic cliche' horseshit.

"Anorexic bitch"... "sorostitute"... "thinks she's better than"... "bleached her IQ down a few points"... "I just don't feel like dressing like a hooker just to party with friends"... "make-up with a paint brush"... "I don't have to /buy/ my friends"... "she's ugly"... "spread 'em for a rum and coke"... etc., etc. ,etc.

He apologized for them, this morning--didn't want to ruin her night last night. She called me up a few ago absolutely bawling about it. She likes him, a lot, but geez... if this is what his friends are like, y'know?

Which I feel bad about, self-conscious petty damn kids with their stupid damn bigotry, pickin' on someone who never did a thing to them at all except be a little different and maybe shy. It's a shame, really and honestly.

He's entirely ashamed of his friends now. She's uncomfortable going anywhere /near/ his place.

They were a good couple, and I'm crossing my fingers.

Jealous little people.

Pisses me off.

 

[Guest]

She didn't know about it until he told her?

His friends indeed sound like jerks, but he certainly didn't need to share that information with her.

Sad situation.

 

[SlickTony]

I got the impression she overheard them.

 

[English Lady]

I got the impression she overheard them.

that's the impression I got, too.

It's a damn shame you know, that people still can't get over the stereotypes.

I may be a little guilty of it myself, at my friends wedding a mutual male friend arrived with his girlfriend and she as very quiet, kinda stony faced and, well I thought stuck up but as the day wore on and I got to eally speak to them both it just turned out she was shy -she knew not one soul other than her boyfriend and was petrified, bless her and once I got to knowher, she was lovely. I felt guilty for assuming such negative things before getting to know her.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I've actually had this happen to me in the exact opposite social situation. I dated a guy who was in a frat and the sorority girls that he and his friends were hanging with hated me and talked trash behind my back. Basically, I caught them saying that I was probably this uneducated redneck and what was he thinking dating someone who wasn't even in college, let alone a Greek. A clique is a clique, it's nothing shocking. Finding out how they felt about me certainly saved me having to make a lot of false pleasant conversation with people I knew looked down on me. Instead, I opted for the "rub it in their faces" angle.

Tell your friend to shine it on, that these bitches are clearly jealous. She should own the fact that she caused such a ruckus. They probably just want the guy and he hasn't had anything to do with them, uh and he really won't want to now that he's seen their true colors. Yes, it hurts, but holding your head high is the only way to be better than that.

 

[Pure]

nasty stuff. but how much did she actually hear, directly, herself?

(i hate to say, but we've all done this sort of thing: 'judged the book by its cover'; made fun of an outcast or 'different' person, behind their back [preferably])

 

[Lee Chambers]

Tell your male friend that he needs to find some new friends. If they would so easily judge someone he is interested in based on stereotypes without considering that "Hey, maybe there's something more to this girl since he's interested in her." then they're not the kinds of friends anyone needs to be associated with.