mynameisben
Half man, half-wit
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2003
- Posts
- 50,214
It seems like every single day of the year it's National Something Day, and it's starting to get under my skin. A little. Am I alone in this?
I looked into it, and it turns out that not only is every day of the year National Something Day, it is much worse than that. Every day is, on average, FIVE National Somethings Day, and the calendar just keeps getting more and more crowded every year.
Today (August 25th) is National Banana Spit Day. Hooray! The obscenely wealthy billionaires who own Baskin Robbins are gonna get a little wealthier today. God Bless America. Or at any rate, God Bless America's one-percenters.
Today is also National Kiss and Make up Day, National Park Service Founders Day, National Secondhand Wardrobe Day, and National Whiskey Sour Day. Tomorrow is National Dog Day, National Cherry Popsicle Day, National Got Checked Day, National Webmistress Day, and National Women's Equality Day.
Whew! My sense of nationalism is already fried, and that's only after two days worth of Days.
There is no "nationalism" about this business. It's not like Congress is voting these Something Days into law. It's all run and operated by a married couple in North Dakota, who have no political or legal ties whatsoever. Their only qualifications for designating National Something days is that they own a spreadsheet and a calendar. They pull in over a quarter of a million dollars every year helping business people get richer via the advertising draw that comes with having a National MyProduct Day. It takes them all of ten seconds to make a new National decree. It's a win-win for both parties, and this National Something Day is only going to keep snowballing with no end in sight.
Just don't get me started with "The official [Your product name goes here] of the Summer Olympics." What, exactly, does it mean to be the "Official Tobacco of the Summer Olympics?" How many marathoners are pulling into the designated rest stations to light up a Marlborough?
Ben
(Twenty time non-beneficiary of Steak & Blow Job Day)
I looked into it, and it turns out that not only is every day of the year National Something Day, it is much worse than that. Every day is, on average, FIVE National Somethings Day, and the calendar just keeps getting more and more crowded every year.
Today (August 25th) is National Banana Spit Day. Hooray! The obscenely wealthy billionaires who own Baskin Robbins are gonna get a little wealthier today. God Bless America. Or at any rate, God Bless America's one-percenters.
Today is also National Kiss and Make up Day, National Park Service Founders Day, National Secondhand Wardrobe Day, and National Whiskey Sour Day. Tomorrow is National Dog Day, National Cherry Popsicle Day, National Got Checked Day, National Webmistress Day, and National Women's Equality Day.
Whew! My sense of nationalism is already fried, and that's only after two days worth of Days.
There is no "nationalism" about this business. It's not like Congress is voting these Something Days into law. It's all run and operated by a married couple in North Dakota, who have no political or legal ties whatsoever. Their only qualifications for designating National Something days is that they own a spreadsheet and a calendar. They pull in over a quarter of a million dollars every year helping business people get richer via the advertising draw that comes with having a National MyProduct Day. It takes them all of ten seconds to make a new National decree. It's a win-win for both parties, and this National Something Day is only going to keep snowballing with no end in sight.
Just don't get me started with "The official [Your product name goes here] of the Summer Olympics." What, exactly, does it mean to be the "Official Tobacco of the Summer Olympics?" How many marathoners are pulling into the designated rest stations to light up a Marlborough?
Ben
(Twenty time non-beneficiary of Steak & Blow Job Day)
